It's a Reel Thing

Army Mutt

2012-01-27T18:05:00.000-08:00

Shalom:
So since Montague has joined a military family, I thought it was time to get attired befitting his new station in life.

This is Montague's new raincoat.

He's not so sure about the hood. It took him a few minutes to adjust, but when he came in from the walk, he wasn't ready to take it off just yet. So I think he likes it.

Our Pal Monte

2012-01-25T17:23:00.000-08:00

Shalom:
Thank you to everyone who comment about the newest member of our family, Montague. Yes, he is a dear, he is indeed a gift from G-d, a small package of fur.
Even now he is sitting at my feet, looking at Mark.
I remember one evening, Mark said, "we need Monte more than he needs us."

It true. As we go through this storm in our lives, we do need this little furry bundle of joy.
A very social dog, when taking Montague for his walks, he doesn't mind at all people stopping to pet him, showering his greeters with kisses.
Dogs, however, a different story.
While we find he gets along with most dogs, he isn't like PitBulls. He gets along pretty with the big dogs in our neighourhood, from time to time I do have to pick the little guy up, since he thinks he is much bigger and badder than he really is.
For example, we took Monte for a doctor's visit at the SPCA this morning. It's much cheaper, so there is no excuse not to have a pet cared for.
As we were checking out, a Great Dane came in.
Thankfully, Mark had a good handle on Montague, because he was up, barking and every to take the Great Dane on.
As one of the Assistance said, "little dude, you are way out of his weight class."
We knew Montague was an older dog, it seems he is at least 13 years old. And he looks very good for his age. He does have gum disease that has to be treated, there is a good chance he might even lose his teeth.
Sadly, we just can't afford to take care of his teeth right now.
So, after my own test this afternoon, while Mark had a doctor's appointment, I added the needs of our little guy along with our own.
There are times it is hard, but one has to keep holding on, keep praying, keep believing.
And then I see Monte looking at me. Then at Mark.
He trust us. He knows we love him and we will take care of him. He has faith is us.
The same trust, the same faith, Mark and I have to have in our Heavenly Father.

A Reel Dog; A Gift of Love.

2012-01-24T17:31:00.000-08:00

Shalom:
As our readers know, for the last week of December, we had the joy of a little visitor known as Monte. His family had gone out of town for the holidays and we were watching their dog.
We fell in love with Monte and Monte with us.

Little Monte came into our home and just plain took over. Not that we minded. He was joy to have. Both Mark and I knew we would have a very hard time giving him back. But we also knew that G-d brought this little guy into our lives. We needed something outside ourselves to care for, another purpose, even if was for only a week.

And then the miracle.

It was Januray first. I had just gotten off the phone with a friend and was dressing when the Burts came for Monte.

To be honest, I was dreading going out into the livingroom to say goodbye to Mort.

But when I came out, I was greeted with a surprise.

Mark told me that the family, seeing that Mark and Monte have bonded, seeing how happy Monte was here, they offered us Monty.

Mark and I were floored. We knew this family, we knew how much they loved Monte. But they had another small dog and felt both needed lots of attention. Monte was really a one family dog. And he loved us.

Mark and I looked at each other. This was clearly a gift of love from our friends. From G-d. Yes, I was concern as to how we would care for him, but this is where trusting G-d comes in.

Since we would be going to a marriage retreat the following weekend, it was decided that Monty would back home. Plus, there was a teenage daughter who had to agree to this arrangement.

So, the monday evening after the marriage retreat, we went to pick up Monte. It was emotional for he is so loved. It was for a two week trial period and if the daughter saw that Monty was truly happy with us, we would adopt Monte.

Two weeks later, Saturday, the Burts came over and spend some time with us. Our girl could see Monty was happy. So as of Saturday afternoon, we have a Reel Dog.

His name, Montague Theodore Reel.

Isn't he cute?

Yeah, their up to something.

We have prayed for healing for my body (I have a blood disorder, more about that later) We pray for Mark to find a job. We pray for money we need to pay our bills.

And G-d answers by sending us a dog.

Ah the ways of G-d.

From the Mouths of Babes

2012-01-23T20:01:00.000-08:00

Monte and The Bed

2012-01-22T11:26:00.000-08:00

Shalom:

Monte is a little guy. As such, because our bed is so high, we didn't think he could jump onto our bed.
We were wrong.
One morning, after Mark had taken Monte for his walk, he had to go out. I was taking a shower and preparing for the day.
I came into the room and found Monte in our bed, with a "You look surprise that I could get up here,"
look.
Seems Monte is full of surprises.

And that is how Monte came to steal our bed.
Like he stole the rest of our apartment, my laptop,

and our hearts.

Monte's Hunt For Chocolate

2012-01-22T11:17:00.000-08:00

Shalom:
On December 25th, Mark and I went to visit family. It had been several months since we had seen his sisters, for it would be to get together with them.
This would be Monte's first afternoon alone.
We were told to put his bed and toys in the bathroon and Monte would stand there until we came back home.
We found that not to be the case.
While we were gone, Monte managed to open the bathroom door and headed for the livingroom. There, sitting on the coffee table a small bag, containing a tiny piece of fudge.
Bingo.
After enjoying Miss Laini's last piece of fudge, he found the plastic bag with his treats sitting on the sofa.
Play dirt.
So, about four hours later, we found the evidence of a tore white bag and half chewed plastic bag. Mark qickly took Monte outside for a long walk.
Later, fudge-face needed a bath....

It was a relief to find out that Monte loves a bath, though he hates to go out in the rain.

Monte also likes to cuddle.

Our Hanukkah Joy

2012-01-22T11:06:00.000-08:00

Shalom:
Hanukkah is one of our favourite holy days. For eight nights we light the candles and remember the miracle that occurred so long ago.
We went to celebrate with friends for one of the nights of Hanukkah. It was a very special night since there were two families at the gathering the hearing from Hanukkah for the very first time.
We had of course latkes of course and one of the ladies brought curry chicken, which was a amazing.
During this time, our hostess asked for prayer. The family was going out of town to visit family. They had two dogs and they needed someone dog sit. They had found someone to watch Lady, but Monte was still in need of a home.
Mark and I looked at each other, and then offered to care for Monte.
And that is how Monte came to visit.

And this is Montague Theodore Burt. As you can see, he has taken over my sit. When his family dropped him off, Monte walked around the apartment, checking out his new digs. He then walked over to where Mark sat and watched him at the laptop.
Then he came over to where I sat and tapping me with his paw, I looked down and found Monte wanted to sit in my lap.

Monte, checking out my facebook page.
Monte is a sweet little guy. Loves to be held and petted. He loves to be brushed and talked to. We were told he likes to sleep in the bedroom and figuring it was just a week, we could do that. It was funny watching Monte drag his bed where he wanted it and fluff it up.
So for one week we had this little of Hanukkah joy. For Mont brought much joy and laughter in our lives. From taking him for walks to watching Monte and Mark wrestle on the floor to being washed with doggie kisses, the house was filled with laughter.
And he brought something for us to focus on.
Mark is still looking for work. It has now been four-teen months. Recently I learned I have some sort of blood disorder. Plus I am being treated for depression.
Monte gave Mark and I something to focus on besides ourselves. In Monte, we both have a being that needed our attention and care. And in doing so, helped to lift the cloud of depression.
I knew when the time came, it would be hard for us to give him back. We had to keep reminding ourselves, Monte isn't ours.
Mark even asked if I thought his owners would be willing to sell Monte to us. I said I doubt. And if they did, we can't afford to take care of us, let alone a dog. besides, there is our teen-age niece to consider. I don't wish our niece to think we stole her dog
But he is a cutie. And my Mark needs a dog.
So I have been praying: "L-rd, if we get a dog, You are going to have to give us the means to care for him."
Funny how G-d answers prayer....

Time to Go

2012-01-21T20:08:00.000-08:00

Shalom: more pictures from SkyTop Ladge....

Sorry, no matter what I do, the these two pictures won't right themselves.

This is Mr. Bill, the very first friendly face you see when you arrive. He is retiring soon, so the next time we go to SkyTop, he won't be there. He not only remembered remembered our names during our first visit, but actually said: "Welcome back, Mr. and Mrs. Reel." He even thanked us for our service to our nation.
An amazing memory.

One of the lovely porchs. It was a chilly day. Still nice for a brisk walk around the grounds.

Yes, it is quite chilly out here...

Sipping hot coco in front of a roaring fire is in order.

This is the bridge that leads both to and from the Lodge...

On our way home. It was an amazing weekend, filled with good food, meeting new friends and learning how to keep the Bonds of our marriage strong.

DownTime

2012-01-21T10:44:00.000-08:00

Shalom:
During the retreat, we did have some down time to enjoy the beautiful surrounding of SkyTop Lodge.

This is one of the beautiful lakes. As you can see it is iced over.

I managed to get this close-up of one of the cabins.

Unsafe? My Mark wasn't buying that.

Yeah, Mark was going to temp it, but then changed his mind.

Strong Bonds: The Last Day

2012-01-21T10:30:00.000-08:00

Shalom:
Sunday morning began with Chaplain Demetrius giving a sermen on marriage, based on Eph. chapter five.
And it was quite good. Demetruis not only drew from scripture, but every day examples to share about the beauty of marriage.
Afterwards came the renewal of vows.
As hebrews, we don't renewal of vows, because we don't take vows when getting married in the first place. We are as married as we are going to be. As rabbi Mark said, "it's a very romantic moment."
And it was.

Chaplain Demetrus performed the brief, but beautiful ceremony. Mark and I took our rings and then slipped them back on each other's finger.

And then, first husbands and then wives, read the words, recommitting ourselves to each other.

And you may kiss your bride.

It was a beauiful moment.
Later we learned which couple won the Date Night Contest. It was our newly-weds who recreated their first date.
Mark and I came in second.
When things winded down and everyone saying goodbye, we exchange adresses with new friends.
It was truly an amazing weekend and I cannot recommend Strong Bonds to every miliarty couple. Mark and I picked up a few more skills that help our marriage. And while we already have an amazing relationship, Strong Bonds just made it more so.
My only complain: it should one day longer.
P.S; As of this writing, using the tools we learned, Mark and I have not had one "intense fellowship" (fight)

Strong Bonds: Date Night.

2012-01-21T10:12:00.000-08:00

Shalom:
The afternoon session, the couples were broken into two groups.
One would make a list of what we would look for in a friend. The other, what would look for in a spouse.
The two list looked similiar.
I believe and most in the group agreed that friendship is very important in marriage. That you should marry your bestfriend.
I am blessed to have married mine.
Sometimes in marriage, with all the dailys of life, a couple can forget to just enjoy each other, spend time with each other. Sometimes, we forget to just sit down and talk.
Having fun is just as important to marriage as faithfulness and trust.
The next session was to me the most beautiful moment of the retreat.
Sexuality and Marriage.
Sex is a beautiful, wonderful expression of love between husband and wife. At that special moment, we are one, as G-d indeed. In fact, G-d rejoices over married love.
After all, it was His idea.
Rabbi Mark taught about what many wives wish their husbands knew and what husbands wish their wives knew about men.
It was here I saw my husband's heart touched. Not that we have a problem here (trust me, we don't).
But when rabbi Mark shared that when men make love to their wives, not only do they filled loved, but it is healing to his soul.
Upon hearing these words, Mark turned to me and stroked my cheek and whispered the word, "true."
Rabbi Mark is a wonderful and gentleman and his words painted a romanctic back drop for the couples for date night.
So as we were walking back to our cabin, trying to think of something to do, I turned my anke and found myself limping.
We got back to the cabin and Mark got some ice for my anke.
We took a nap and then Mark went out and got supper and we spend the evening in our cabin, sharing the evening meal, Mark applying more ice to my anke and cuddling in bed.
The only missing was a roaring fire.

Strong Bonds: Saturday Evening

2012-01-21T09:29:00.000-08:00

Shalom:
The afternoon sessions ended with intructions for date night.
It was a contest to see which couple had the best date night. You didn't have to take part, but there would be a prize.
More about that later.

On our way back to our cabin, Mark and I talked.
I shared with him my own insights. For the retreat has been an eye opener for me.
When I was a child, I had a poor sense of direction and would often get lost. Therefore, as I got older, I would do a check and double check of directions. sometimes the directions given would be wrong and I would again find myself lost. While I did learn how to retrace my steps, it was and is still cause for panic and in insecurity for me.
So the issus wasn't really the fact that Mark didn't feel a need for the map. It was the fear of he did not know where we were. That fed into my unsecurity.
I also realise my panic said to Mark, I didn't trust him.
But I did, because when ever we found ourselves lost, Mark would stop and ask for help. Thus I knew he would get us where we needed to be.
So, how did we resolute this?
I told mark I had been thinking about how to help him. I learned from my mother to always write a list of everything we would need for a trip. I would make sure the map was included on the list.
Mark, liking the idea, promise to buy a map and leave it in the car. We ago agreed to look at the map together and highlight with a marker our travel route and go online to get printed directions.
I also Mark, even if all of this, we might still get turned around. When that happens, I remind myself I can trust you to get me where I need to be.
Mark agreed. And he said when he sees me panic, he will take my hand and remind me, "honey, I got you, it's ok."
As we laid down for a nap, Mark took me in his arms and said; "This weekend has been good for us. I have been reminded of all the reasons. I love you. This afternoon, I realised your love healed me."
I cried as I fell asleep in his arms.
"I hope those are happy tears."
All I could do was nod.
They were.

Strong Bonds: Saturday Afternoon

2012-01-20T18:44:00.000-08:00

Shalom:
After lunch and a quick nap, the afternoon sessions began.
We entered the room to find....a mess.
My first thought was; Who Let the Dogs Out?
What appeared to be a mess (paper plates, cups, big red balls little cones and pillows) was really a Mine Field. It was both a game and a teaching tool.
The wives went over to one side of the room where our husbands blindfolded us.
I am praying up a storm because the thought of walking about, not being able to see is not my favourite thing to do.

As you can see, I am not a happy camper. I felt like at any moment someone was going to put a cigarette in my mouth and ask me if I had any last words.
The husbands did with to the other side of the room and on the word GO!, they were to yell across the room and guide their blind wives through the Mine Field, not touching the stuff on the floor.
There were so many voices, I could not hear Mark. So I stood there, looking cute, not moving until I hear his voice. From time to time I would hear: "Can you hear me now?" Then and only then did I move. Finally, the voices died down and I could hear Mark.
And then the gamed ended.
The staff realised the game, while a good idea, would have worked better with a smaller group. So this time, the wives tied blind folds over the eyes of the husbands. We would stand just before them and guide them with our voices through the Mind Field.
What Mark and I learned was the following:
1. I wasn't going to more until I could hear Mark's voice. That meant I really had to listen.
2. Mark, knowing I couldn't hear him, waited until he could call to me and I could hear and follow his lead.
This is called trust. We trust each other to guide each other through the Mine Fields of Life.
For me, I follow a spiritual lesson: "The L-rd is my Shepherd, I shall not want...." "I am the Good Shepherd and my sheep hear My Voice." Moshe, during his time in the desert, took care of sheep, learning to lead a great flock, his people out of Egypt. The shepherd boy who became king, David learned to pray, worship as well as how to lead and protect the nation he would one day take his place on the throne.
We were told to keep the lesson of the Mine Field in our next session.
Events and Issues.
Events and issues do arise in every marriage.
An event: Mark has drill this weekend. We decide to meet at the Kosher Palace (no such place, would be nice) for supper Saturday at six pm.
At the last minute, Mark is called into his Co's office to help with a project, forgetting to call me to let me know he is going to be late.
Plus, because it is shabbat, his phone is turn off.
So here I am, sitting pretty, waiting for my husband.
At first, I'm not too concern. Traffic no doubt and I order a coke.
30 minutes past and I check the messages at home, thinking Mark is running late and left a message on the home phone. No message.
Maybe he took a friend home. He's been known to do that.
Another 30 minutes past and I am now getting worried. Was there an accident? Was he robbed. Maybe he's laying on a dark street, bleeding, calling out my name....
And in comes Mark, running to the table.
Not bleeding.
Now, instead of "Thank G-d! Your fine!" I am ready to kill him.
"Honey, I'm sorry, I needed to stay back..."
"And you couldn't call me? Mark you always do this!"
"But honey if my boss tells me I have to stay and work...."
"You care more about your boss and your job than you do me!"
"That's not true and your being unreasonable. You have no understanding of how my job works..."
So now we have gone into a full blown fuss (though we would have left and done this at home).
What is the real issue? Is Mark always late? No. Does Mark always forget to call me? No.
But Mark is on the defenced and he is shooting back.
This is called a Mine Field. Because there are other matters, other "voices" screaming and we cannot hear each other.
So what we need is a "time off" to cool down and decide on a time to best handle this.
What is the real issue? What is underneath the surface?
Respect. I feel Mark is disrespecting me when he doesn't call and let me know he is going to be late. That my time isn't that important . That his CO and his fellow soldiers come before I do.
Mark feels I don't respect the fact that there are times his help is needed and he may have to put in longer hours.
Easy, yes? Yes and no.
It means learning to get to what the real issue is. It means learning to diffuse the mine fields and get to the heart of the matter and coming up with a way workable plan.
Mark leaves his cell phone on. I bring a good book.
And it was this exercise that resolved the problem of the map.

Martin Luther King

2012-01-15T12:27:00.000-08:00

Shalom:
I am taking a break from the Strong Bonds series to honour an american hero, Doctor Martin Luther King Jr.
Today would be his 83th birthday, if he had lived. His wife, Mrs. King passed away several years ago, after suffering from a massive stroke and cancer. His eldest daughter, Yolanda, also passed away a few years ago. Yolanda and I were only a few months apart in age.
I remember the first time I heard Doctor King's name. It was the day he was murdered. The day was Tuesday, April 4th, 1968. It was my sister Eileen's nineth birthday.
We were attending school in Newton, being bused out of our neighourhood of Dorchester. We were part of the Operation Exdous, where inner city children, like my sister and I could be bused to another school system, where the schools were better.
I rememeber an annouce over the loud speaker at school. Those of us with Operation Exdous were leaving school early.
I remember the ride home. We didn't know what was going on, just happy to get out of school early. As we entered our neighourhood, the joy was replaced with fear. We saw rioting; adults running the streets, screaming and yelling, busting store windows and stealing things. There was one store on fire.
"They killed KING!!!" was the cry we heard.
Who was the king?
Mummie was standing at the bus stop. Now I know something was wrong. Our mother took the afternoon off to come and pick us up from school?
I could see the fear she was trying to hide. Seeing the mayhem, frankly all hell was breaking loose, mummie wanted to make sure we got home safe and explained what was happening and why. The people were upset because one of our Civil Rights leaders was shoot.
But to riot? To rob and destroy businesses? I didn't understand that.
I still don't.
I always call this the year I began to grow up. I remember so much from that year.
We were watching Bewitched, the one when Endora pull a spell on Darren, causing him to have jumbo ears. Ten minutes into the show, the news broke in and announced that Doctor King had died.
We were keptt home until after his funeral.
During those four days, I learned so much about Doctor King, what he stood, what he was fighting for. Doctor King's funeral was the very first one Eileen and I ever attended, even though it was via TV.
It was during this time, mummie talked to us about death and the afterlife. These lessons would come in handy a few months later when the Late Senate Robert F. Kennedy would be gun down and then the passing of our grandmother years later.
Doctor King had a Dream. He held this nation up to her promises and knew we could be a better people.
As I look over my life, I know that I am living Doctor King's dream. As a wife, mother, writer and teacher of women, I am the reality of his dreams. I am free marry and be happily married to the man I love without fear. I am free to live where-ever I wish, buy a home, own a busniess and use my G-d given talents.
True, the seeds of hatred because of skin colour is in our nation. We still have pockets of groups who rather divide than unite. Those who would still burn a cross on my lawn if they could. But we are so much farther as a people, as an nation.
Like him or not, but this nation elected it's first bi-racial president. Who whould have imagine that happen even four years ago. Today we have men and women of all colours and walks of life servinf not only as teachers, but lawyers, judges, doctors, ministers, priest and rabbi. We serve in all branches of the miliarty. We shine not only in Sport and Enterianment, but in Science and Business.
Doctor King's Dream is an american Dream.
Each of us, all of us, are better because Doctor Matin Luther King Jr. passed our way.
May we each remain faithful to his vision.
Happy Birthday, Dr. King.

Strong Bonds: The Retreat-Saturday Morning

2012-01-15T10:51:00.000-08:00

It was a sunny, but chilly Saturday morning. Mark got up before I did to find out where and what time the classes began.
I was snuggled down in the softness of the king bed, when Mark said: "Laini, get up. The classes start at 8:00 am.
It was 7 am and I am not a morning person.
Yes, we had a fuss.
It seems we should have been there yesterday afternoon by 3:00pm because that was the opening sessions began. He didn't know that we were suppose to be there yesterday.
Here we go again.
I have to be honest; I had to work through this as well.
It really wasn't his fault because he didn't have all of the information, but I still have to work through my anger. Truth be told, I wasn't being very flexiable.
Thankfully, we weren't in trouble, the staff was just thankful we made it on time.

This is a picture of one of the cabins at SkyTop. They are rather warm and cozy. Only a five minute walk from the cabin to the main lodge where the sessions would be held.
The staff was made up of three chaplains: Chaplains Jonathan, Demetrius and Mark (Rabbi) Jonathan and Mark were married, Demetrius, single.
The resource used for the weekend was Prep For Strong bonds; Building Ready Families. It's a participant manual that we would work through. What I love about the manual is that it is something that Mark and I can continue to use in our marriage. It reminds me of the workbook we used when going through pre-martial counseling.

The first session, led by Jonathan was discussing the speaker-listening technique. While we missed the teaching class, we quickly caught on because it is a technique we already knew. In each of the packets given to the couples, there contain a tile, called The Floor. Whoever held the tile, had "the floor" and was the speaker.(sample: It upsets me when you leave the bottle of ornage juice sitting on the counter.") The other parther is the Listener. Then the floor is given to the other spouse. He or she repects back what they just heard ( so what your saying is, you don't like me leaving the orange juice sitting out.")
Some times, the orange juice sitting on the kitchen isn't really the issuse. What is the real issuse? Maybe it is one spouse is concerned that the orange juice sitting out will spoil and it has to be thrown away and that is a waste of money. The other spouse, feels they are being considerate by leaving the juice for everyone.
So how do we settle this issuse?
The couple will agree to sit down and settle the issuse.
If this was Mark and I, we would agree the juice pitch sits on the breakfast table until the meal is over and whoever cleared the table would put away the orange juice.
Simple yes?
But how many couples fight over such a simple matter.
As the morning wore on, my anger melted away. Mark not having the map wasn't the reason for my anger. It's a good reason to be upset, but not to be angry. During the morning session, I realize somthing esle was in play.
Something we would learn is, the hidden issuse.
After the break, Rabbi Mark led the session Readjustment: Deployment and Coming Home. He set the stage that marriage today is very different than in our parents, and in some ways unchanged.
Today, more wives work outside the home, not because of things the family wants, but because the family needs the extra income. Though when I was growing up, I knew very few homes where mum stayed at home. Today, more couples share the household duties and care of children. But the core values and needs are still there.
For miliatry families, there is now the added long deployments.
The group shared the pros and cons of deployments, how to be creative in staying in touch with the deployed soldier.
We then broke into soldier and spouses groups. I found this most helpful. Since Mark is a Civil Affairs officer, he is attached to a unit and send off. And I am left here with no support other than family and friends. Other spouses in the group had similair situations. We able to speak openly, knowing whatever was said, remained in that room.
I walked away, realizing, that as hard as these four deployments have been, I was truly blessed.
We headed out for lunch, at one of the little eaties at the lodge. The dinningroom prices were just a little too high.
We were invivted by another couple to join them. Then Chaplain Jonathan and his wife joined us. it was a nice lunch of hanburgers and just getting to know each other.
Later, Mark and I sat before a roaring fire and I fell asleep on Mark's shoulder as he stroked my cheek.

Strong Bonds: We're On Our Way

2012-01-14T19:33:00.000-08:00

We started out mid-morning Friday morning.
It was a beauiful, sunny Jaunry. It felt more like autumn than winter. I stood in front of our car as mark loaded her with our suitcases, thinking what amazing life I have.
True,n either one of us are working right now. Mark's father recent back surgery, and me having all sorts of test. We stay half a paycheck from being put out on the streets and yet, I feel blessed.
I feel blessed because I am.
I watch Mark, this man I have the honour to call my husband, my lover and my bestfriend. A man I am willing to follow through hell itself, knowing he will lead me to heaven is on the other side.
And frankly, we are going through hell.
We had been to SkyTop Lodge three weeks ago for the Yellow Ribbon and looked forwarded to returning. True, we won't have much time alone. But it is still a lovely place for a get away.
And since the event counts as AT (Anuuel Training) Mark does get paid.
Money always helps.
An hour into our trip, we both laughed over the fact that we had forgotten our music CDs, so we listened to the radio once again.
Sometimes it was a talk program. Sometimes an oldie-but-goodness station laughing with happy surprise of "YOU know that song?"

We stopped for the stretching of legs and rest rooms. The weather was being to become chilly. Good thing we had jackets in the back seat.

I thought this was rather pretty, giving visitors of the rest stop a taste of the surroundings.

I never did find out the name of this river. Maybe one day.
Soon, we were back on the road again.
I rather like these times. Since August of last year, we have attended a miliarty program of one sort or another. The pay Mark recieved for each trip has truly helped, and the get aways have been great respite from all the stress we have been under.
During these rides we talk, we laugh. Mark tells me how much he loves me. And I share my love for him.
And then it happen.....
Mark who though he could remind how to get to SkyTop without a map, got lost.
At first, I managed not to get angry or panic. I chose to believe we would by the grace of G-d get back on track.
We didn't.
By six pm, we didn't have the faintest idea where we were.
And by now, my sense of adventure was long gone. The only reason why Mark lived was because I don't drive.
We did find a Rite-Aid, with a map. We were a half an hour from the Lodge. However, somehow, someway, Mark got turned around and we were heading AWAY from SkyTop.
And yes, I was mad. Mark, being a good sport, allowed me to vent.
No, I didn't hit him.
Finally, we did get back on track, seeing buildings and signs we recoginzed, leading us to the Lodge.
I had to work through my anger, not wishing for it to ruin our weekend.
It was about nine pm when we finally arrived to SkyTop. This time we would be staying in one of the cabins.

Mark went back to main lodge and found one of the food outlets opened.
Hamburgers never tasted so good.
Knowing we would have an early morning, we headed off to bed.
And I had to pray hard.
Yes, I was angry about Mark not having the map. I knew he was sorry.
And I wasn't going to allow this to ruin our weekend.
I had to pray hard that night.

Strong Bonds Part One

2012-01-14T18:41:00.000-08:00

Last weekend (Januray 6-8) Mark and I attended a program known as Strong Bonds.And what is Strong Bonds?
Strong Bonds is a chaplain-led programs for commanders and thier families. Its mission is to increase soldier and the family readness through relationship education and skills training. There is so much pressure on military life today. Today we face more and long deployments that can put a stain on both marriage and family life. Strong Bonds helps the family not only to prepare for deployment and/or post-deployment, but helps the miliarty family to strenghten and keep the lines of communications open.
Couples like Mark and I volunteer to participate in a Strong Bonds retreat. Though it counts as AT for the soldier. It is held offsite, the retreat is design to maximize the family relationship training impact. Also known as a getaway, it provides a comfortable place for training, but for the couple to unwind. It is at these sites, chosen by the chaplens that offer emotionally safe and secure environment, where one can address the effects of miliarty life.
The Strong Bonds we attended was held at the amazing SkyTop Lodge, SkyTop, PA.
We had attended another event here, The Yellow Ribbon Reinteration about three weeks ago and was looking forward to our returning for what we knew would be an amazing weekend.
Strong Bonds first began in 1999, with four events and 90 couples in the 25th Division, Hawaii, Strong has since spread throughout the Active and Reserve Componernts of the Army.
In 2004, the US Code was amended to allow command funding for "chaplain-led programs to assist members of the armed forces--in bulding and maintainging a strong family structure," (Title 10-1789).
In the fiscal year of 2010, the Army completed the third year of a five year longitudinal study evaluating the outcome of Strong . Preliminary outcome shows a fifty percent lower rate in divorce with an increase in marital satisfaction for participants.
Very true. For Mark and I walked away with a few tools in our toolchest. Even though it has been a week, we still are practicing the lessons we learned from Strong Bonds.
So why is this program so important to the Army?
Because strong families are the backbone of the Army. The Army realizes that when the Soldier's family is healthy and secure, the Soldier then can focus on the task at hand. Knowing thier loved ones are recieving the support needed back home, relieves their minds and hearts. Strong, loving marriages and relationships contribute to the maintenance of a healthy Army and a secure future force. While we have not gone through duty relocations, we have felt the stain of frequent deployments, we have had our relationship tested.
The research done on Strong Bonds has shown that the training couples recieves, improves communication skills, imtimacy and conflict management. As stated before, it increases marital satisfaction and reduces the rates of Family violence.
I am so happy to say that the Army sees the need and is going out of its way to help Soldiers and their Families get through the ups and down of Miliarty Life.
I highly recommand the Strong Bond Program to all our soldiers and their families.It is truly worth the weekend.

If I had an complain, it would be it needs to be one day longer.

In The Hands of G-d Part Three

2012-01-11T18:24:00.000-08:00

Shalom:
Well it is a rainy night here in Norfolk. A nice evening for hot coco and a good book.
Mark is looking for a job online while I catch on the blog.
Right now, we are taking things one day at a time.
Yesterday, I took all the bills, laid them on the dinningroom table and prayed; "G-d, we cannot pay these bills. We don't have the money, we don't have jobs, we have no way to pay these bills. So I am giving them to You. Our hope is in You. I believe, somehow, someway, You will provide for us."
Yeah, I know it sounds strange.
But I do believe that the Creator is our Father. That He indeed listens to our prayers. That He does answer. It might not be the way or matter we wish, or in the time we think, but He does answer.
I remember years ago, one of my friends said to me, "good morning, beautiful."
I laughed and asked if I am so beautiful, why doesn't I married. Or at least someone ask me out everyonce in a while.
His answer: "G-d is preparing your husband."
Excellant answer and quite right.
Many times we may be ready, but G-d is still working out the details.
Or we ourselves may not be ready for that new job, that house we are praying for other for that mate.
Sometimes we forget, G-d sees the whole picture, whereas,we can see just so far. And that means learning to trust our Heavenly Father.

I took this picture just before Mark and I took off for New York. At first, it was just a cute picture.
But now I see it a little differently.
While dad is watching for the traffic, son was looking down at his little legs on the petals. He had no fear of where his father was taking him. He trusted his daddy enough to just go for the ride, knowing his daddy will get him where-ever they were going safely. Total trust.
That I would be as trusting of my heavnly Father as this little boy.

The Yellow Ribbon Reinteration Program

2012-01-09T17:13:00.000-08:00

Shalom:
In keeping with its committed to both the soldier and their families, the Secretary of Defense began a program called the Yellow Ribbon Reintegration Program.

The program is an weekend event that provides information, services, referral, and proactive outreach programs to Soldiers of the Army Reserve and their Families through through every step of the deployment cycle.
It's goal is to prepare soldiers and their families for deployment, sustain the familt during deployment, and reintegrate the soldier with his/her family, communite, and employers upon redeployment.
In Mark's case, this means he goes from being active duty back to reservist status until called up again.
The program includes information on current benefits and resources available to help overcome the challenges of return. The weekends are broken down to 30, 60, and 90-day post-deployment and counts in Annual Training (AT) status for the soldier. And as stated before, the family is included.

The army realizes that the family is the back bone and has come a long way in assuring to give support to families while their loved ones are done. Plus the need our soldiers have with rentry back to the life they left behind.
We weren't aware of the program until last summer, for we had known, I would have attended the pre-deployment sessions.
But the ones we did attend were great.
This weekend was at a wonderful hotel or lodge in beautiful locations. We met wonderful people and the staff of the Yellow Ribbon are top notch. while they are still working out the bugs, we really had little to complain about.
And while Mark is still looking for work, Yellow Ribbon gave him great leads.
Like mark and I, many companies aren't aware of this amazing resource to their soldiers and their families. Nor are many aware of Strong Bonds, a marriage retreat that the army chaplens have setup with the aim of strenghing the bonds of army marriages.
So, I am doing my part in helping out the word. For sadly, this is one of those miliarty programs that could be done away with thanks to budget cuts. And these two programs are so needful for men and women who have given of their lives to protect and serve. They ask for so little from us as nation. Surely we can make sure they and their families have all the resources they need.

So it is Januray

2012-01-09T16:03:00.000-08:00

Shalom:
So now it is January.
Our weather here in Tidewater, has as always been up, down and all around. The first of the month felt more like autumn and the next day we were back into sweaters.
We had one more army event to attend this month, called Strong Bonds and I shall write about that soon.
Mark is still out of work, still looking for work and doing some training online. I plan to take some online courses as well; my will be on gaming. There are a few games I truly enjoy and I would like to try my hand at it.
Thanks to the anti-depressed medication I am now taking, my mood is so much better. For the longest time I felt I was in this dark fog, not even knowing up from down. An icky black I felt choke the life out of me. This wasn't just the blues, but a deep shroud that was wrapped around and stealing my breath. All I could do was sit and stare.
Or cry.
Mark, seeing this, was wise enough to call my doctor and she quickly saw me...
That was about three weeks ago. The shroud is gone and I can now face the day instead of wanting to sleep it away.
I can now write again. Take care of my home again.
Pray again.
So this is January....my do I have lots to do. Lots of projects such as this blog to catch up on. Time to spend with my beloved. Time to study Torah and pray.
And yes, even bake goodies for friends.
So this is January. The weather is great for making soups, hot coco and popcorn. Time to work on a quilt or draw pictures with the children, A good time for an evening of Scramble and Uno.
Quiet evening to cuddle with your beloved on the sofa and watch the fire in the hearth.
So what does January hold for you?

In the Hands of G-d Part 2

2012-01-09T12:52:00.000-08:00

Shalom:
Often when one hears that someone has been played in the Hands of G-d, one thinks that person who is very ill, dying or has died.
And while that is true, the reality is, if we are believers in the G-d of Abraham, Issac and Yacob, we are in His Hands all the days of our lives on this good earth.
From the moment of our first breath, to our last, whether we like it or not, or even believe it or not, our life, both now and forever, all of us are in His Hands.
The Creator of heaven and earth, of every living thing, allows the rain to fall and the sun to shine on both the righteous and the unrighteous, alike. Illness, disease and death come to all, whether we worship the Holy One or laugh at the very thought of an Divine Being. But so does wealth, health and a joy filled life.
I learned this from my beloved mother.
Whether it was leaving New York, fleeing an abused marriage, as a single mother raising two daughters and caring for ailing mother or moving from the Governor's Office Massachusetts to start a new career at CBN Virginia, to giving a long held dreams to go on the mission field and start a new career as a phone conusel before her stroke.
I watched as my mother fought back from three major strokes that came one on top of the other. Dispite it all, mummie never lost her smile or her sense of humour. She didn't take it as a judgement or punishment, nor did she see this as the L-rd she adores as failing her because He didn't restore her body. Like Job, mother declare: "though He slain me, yet will I praise Him." The nursing staff would come in, just to talk to and some of them would even ask for prayer.
If anything, we often joke that she woke from the Stroke angry because she wasn't home with Jesus.
That's my mummie.
I like to remain her that during these eleven years, she got to welcome five great-grandchildren, see both her daughters marry men she proudly call sons and a granddaughter marry as well.
When you walk the hallway of Hope Haven, the assisted living home where mummie now lives, you will find the Thomas Kindcaid gallery. My mother loves Thomas Kindcaid puzzles and once they are finished, she glues and frames them.

When you walk into her room, you feel the Presence of G-d and see that beautiful smile upon her face and you forget your own problems. My mother continues to encourage and counsel others.
"My stroke slowed down my body, not my mind," Mummie would often say.
To quote my mother, whatever state we find ourselves, we are in G-d's Hands. Nothing happens in our lives without His knowledge or permission. I don't have to like it or even understand. Just trust Him.
Since all of this began in our lives, I have noticed I have had several panic attacks. At those times, Mark takes me in his arms, kissing my hair and whisper; "Laini, I got you." and after a few minutes I calm down and know everything will be alright.
This morning, as I awoke, I heard those same words in my spirit...but it wasn't Mark....
"I got you, Elayne." G-d whispered to my heart.
And I know He does.

In The Hand of G-d Part One

2012-01-07T17:30:00.000-08:00

Shalom:
Well it is Januray 2012.
So far, so good.
I'd just read comments made on the blog. Thank you so much for your good wishes and prayers. Even sharing what is going on in your lives.
We live in interesting times. For many, they give thanks for still having jobs, homes, good health. But they feel the pain of those who have lost any of or all of the above.
Up intil several months ago, I felt secure.
Now, not so much.
After years of being on welfare, between private duty work as a HomeHealth Care and having a small home business, I worked myself off.
It is how I supported myself as I worked torwards my next goal; getting out Public Housing.
And that is when I met Mark.
As many who follow this blog know, we started off as friends, then became bestfriends. Finally, seeing that G-d was playing the role of Heavenly MatchMaker, we were married.
I was so thankful and blessed that Mark didn't judge me by where I lived. Grady Park was and still is a very nice neighour and pretty decent for Public Housing. He spend many an evening at my dinningroom table, sitting watch a movie or he would pick me up for service at Beth Messiah.
After we were married, we lived in my tiny little apartment for two months as we looked for a another place to live. Something bigger. Something nice.
We found a beautiful place in Historial Ghent and moved. Making two of my dreams come true.
I was finally moving out of housing and I was moving to the very neighour I had spend years working torwards moving to.
I still remember the morning we moved out of my old apartment. I remember walking throught the empty rooms, knowing I was leaving to begin a whole new life. Welfare is a form of slavery, captured by cans and cannots and you have to work youself off to get free. Some, like my son, got out by joining the Navy, choicing to make an career of it.
Here I was, with a gold band on my left finger, standing in the middle of an empty kitchen. My fomer kitchen.
I couldn't help but cry. Neighours came to say goodbye, wish me well, thanked me for being an wonderful neighour and friend. I got hugs and kisses and even a nice card made by one of the children.
My next door neighour, an older lady, even asked me if I knew what I was doing the right thing by leaving.
I understood what she was asking. I was leaving the known, the safe. It would easy to stay and settle.
"What if that man loses his job? What if that man up and leaves you. They do that you know. Then what are you going to do, then. This has been your home for so long...."
I understood her concerns, her fears. I was like a granddaughter to this dear woman. She had watched out for the the pass several months that I had lived in that apartment and I knew she would miss me as well as worry about how I'm doing.
My answer; "I shall do as I have always done, Trust G-d."
(She's since moved in with her son and his wife)
I said goodbye and waved goodbye to my old life.....
That was six and a half years ago.
Today, I am sitting in a hotel room after attending another military event with my beloved. He's gone to get supper while I apply ice to my right ankle. (I twisted it stepping on a stone) wreatling through fears of having to return to housing, to food stamps.
Not because my husband left me, but because other than hubby's unemployment checks and army reserve pay, there is no steady income. Mark, being an reservist has been looking work for now 14 months. Interviews that don't turn into jobs. I once again face an health issus we hope to get answers to this week.
We really cannot afford our apartment, so we are now looking into Section 8.
Frankly, I hate it. But I also know if things don't turn around, that is where we are heading.
My answer is still as it was six and a half years ago: I shall trust G-d.
It isn't blind faith, or I hope faith. It is rememebring how He cared for me in the past, that He is keeping us now.
And whatever happens, I keep one hand in the hand of my beloved, and the other hand, in the Hand of the Lover of our soul.

Hanukkah

2011-12-24T18:35:00.000-08:00

Shalom and Happy hanukkah:
Tonight it the 5th night of Hanukkah.
It has been a quiet celebration this year, quieter than what we planned. But that's ok.
We had planned a Hanukkah feast, but the weekend before we found ourselves heading off for the last of The Yellow Ribbon Programs and that meant using the money for gas.
Mark is still unemployed, still looking for work.
We praise G-d his unemployment has been extended. And he does get paid for going to the Yellow Ribbon.
And I shall share about that another time.

That following tuesday, Mark awoke rather sick. It seems he had picked up some stomach virus. Which meant my making a big pot of chicken soup for my beloved instead of potatoes latkes for the first night of hanukkah. Thankfully with ginger-ale and soup, he was right as rain the following day.
So the next night, we had fish and chips, one of our favorite meals for hanukkah, since it is cooked in oil.
We spend a lot of time together, my beloved and I. Mostly because niether of us has jobs.
But while a job is needed, I do not complain about the time we share. We talk so much. We take walks together, study and pray together.
I see the pain in my Mark's eyes. He feels he has failed me in that he has no work to support us. But that isn't his fault. My Mark's isn't a lazy man; just sitting on the sofa, playing vidoe games while we live on the Taxpayers dime.
And yet in those same eyes, I see love. I see how much my husband loves me.
And what does that have to do with Hanukkah?
This is the time of miracles. When a ragtag band with the Hand of G-d upon them, won the battle the Syian-Greacian army that was determine to rid the world of every hebrew man, woman and child. To rid the world of Torah and the hebrew tongue. If it had not been for that hard fought battle, the miracle of a young virgin girl concieving in her womb the Messiah would have never occured. If there had been no Hanukkah, there would have been no Christmas.
The miracle of a war won. Of oil found. Of a Child concieved. All duringing this time of miracles.
And the same G-d of ole is still performing mircales. He still has His Hand upon His people, upon all who would call upon His Name.
And that is why I can light the lights of Hanukkah.

The Touch Felt Around the World

2011-12-01T10:58:00.000-08:00

She was known for her beauty and amazing blue eyes. She was known for love of children and love for dance. Forever 36, our last memory of her was entering a car that would crash, the crash taking her life.

But I shall forever memory her for that touch.
I call it the touch felt around the world.
It was April, 1986. Diana, Princess of Wales, in visiting a hosptial, actually reached out and shook the hand of a man, dying of Aids.
Her Highness's single touch of a dying man, a fellow human being, literally changed the world's view of Aides and Aides patients forever.
I believer the Princess of Wales would agree with me that we have come a long way, and yet still have a long way to go.
Today is the one day of the year that I think about returning to nursing.
Notice I said think about.
But that part of my life is over and by the end of this evening the feeling will be gone.
But I can still be part of the battle; by speaking out in Aids Awarness and giving when I have the money to do so. By visiting the bedside of the sick, whatever their ailment, not being afraid to touch them with the love of Yeshua, with the love of a fellow human being.
I write this in memory of the Late Princess of Wales, Diana.
Taken far too soon.

World Aids Day

2011-12-01T10:41:00.000-08:00

Today is World Aids Day.

The day holds meaning for me because when I began my career as a nursing assistance, it was during those early years of when hearing "you have aids" was a death sentence. When people were afraid to be in the same room with someone had Aids, let alone touch them, eat or drink after them. When even doctors and nurses refused to see or care for a person with Aids. When even family memebers were turning their backs on family members.
I remember well the evening I found myself working with Aid patients. I was going in to check on two new patients, I actually tripped over the door stopped. The two male patients laughed and I laughed too. It was funny, and I didn't fall, which was even better.
I introduced myself, letting them know I would be their CNA for the evening.
They both asked for pitchers of water. So I went and filled their pitches and returned.
Both men appeared shocked that I returned so quickly.
"We're not use to recieving such service."
Why not, I asked.
"You don't know, we have Aids. No one comes in here unless they have to."
I didn't know. So I told them, if they didn't mind, I would need to wear gloves, but I no problem taking care of them.
A few minutes later, the head nurse called me to the nursing station. "You don't have a problem taking care of those men. Their gay you."
"So,"
"They have Aids."
"So, I'm not going to kiss or have sex with. I believe that just as Yeshua walked amoung and healed the Lepers of His day, I believe He would walk amoung and heal Aids patients."
So that night, I was given all four Aids patients on that floor until I left that nursing home.
I then went to work for an nursing agency where I continued working with Hospic patients, including Aids patients.
Several of my former Aid patients actually rally and are now doing great, living full lives. But most have indeed passed on.
I remember each fondly, with a smile and tears.
We have come a very long way in the battle to rid the world of Aids, but we still, as a nation and the world at large still have a long way to go. May we see the world rid of this disease soon.
I write this in memory of all of those who have gone before us.
I write this, in the belief that one day, Aids, will be nothing more than a memory.

On the Road Again: Champ Hill

2011-12-01T08:35:00.000-08:00

Boker Tov:
Back to our trip to Rochester.
After we leave GettryBurg, PA (see post from 11-16-2001) we were once agin on the road.
The sun was high and the weather was great; the air was crisp and had me longing for hot apple cider.

On our way, we stopped a warm and visiting little town known as Champ Hill. It was a great place to stop and stretch our legs.
As well as an wonderful place to take pictures:

A carpit of fallen leaves. I leaarned my beloved had never had the joy of kicking through a pile of leaves or even have a leave fight. So we had to have a little fun playing in the leaves.

This is All About Wedding Cakes. It's by appointment only, so we couldn't go in.

The homes are so lovely, the feel that one gets is the warmth that comes from the charm of a small town.

Our time in Champ Hill was far too short. We have to come back.

A Jew With A View: Roses In November

2011-12-01T08:06:00.000-08:00

A Jew With A View: Roses In November

These pictures are from my morning walk a few days ago...

Good Night, Sweet Angel: Part 2

2011-11-18T07:33:00.000-08:00

Boker Tov;
It is a cold morning here in Virginia. In the 30s. So it is a hot coco morning.
I awoke thinking about baby Jazzlyn Grace. I have so many pictures of this lovely girl with the big blue eyes. I had never held her or heard her coos, but I am just imagine.
The death of anyone we love, even if we know they are in heaven. It is times like thess we ripe our garments ( the picture of the heart being ripped open) and declare:
Barukh attah Adonai Eloheynu Melekh ha’olam dayan ha’emet. Blessed are You, O Lord our G-d, King of the universe the true Judge (or Judge of truth).
The death of a child is the worst pain a parent could have.
I remember the months I struggled after Mark and I lost a child to miscarriage. A child we never saw or heard. It took time and the support of a loving husband and a Faithful G-d to get me through. And knowing our little one was with her Creator slowly, slowly eased the pain.
At times like these we reach for words:
G-d needed another angel, so He took him/her. With respect, when humans die and go to heaven, they remain human, their not turned into angels.
We are not needed in heaven. That is where we go when our work is done. We are needed here on earth.
When our loved are taken, it is their time to go.
But knowing this doesn't ease the pain. Nor should There is a hole in our lives, our family, our heart that can be mended, but not fully healed until we are together again. G-d is closest to times like these, holding us close.
Anger is normal too. I remember being so mad with G-d over His taking our unborn child. There will be no baby scents and nappies, no baby coos and first tooth, no first day of school, first dance, no seeing this precious one married under our huppah or grandbabies.
Why!!!!!
The wordss came slowly, softy...."Quiet child....one day you will understand...this is not that day...."
His ways and thoughts are higher than ours. Sometimes that is enough and sometimes we storm with,
That's it???"
And sometime we just have to lean back into the Father's Arms and let Him hold us, knowing He loves us.
And weeps with us.

Good Night Sweet Angel

2011-11-17T15:35:00.000-08:00

Yesterday morning bright and sunny.
And then I recieved the news that a friend's three month old granddaughter Jazzlny was found in her crib, blue. We prayed that The that gave us Jazzyn would allow her to remain longer.
But the Holy One, Blessed be He, had other ideas.
Today, as I prayed for Linda and her family, I remembered something I would a few months back and felt during this time of questions and tear, it would encourage:
From 11th April:
It is hard, even impossible to understand how a loving G-d would take someone so young. It is times like these that people of faith draw on G-d. I repost something I wrote awhile back that gets me through moments like this:

In Judaism, death is not a tragedy, even when it occurs early in life or through unfortunate circumstances. Death came to the world because of sin, but one day, through Messiah, that shall be removed. Our deaths, like our lives, have meaning and are all part of G-d's plan. This does not mean that G-d condones to actions of murders; they shall indeed face judgement, in this life and in the next, for their crimes.
In addition, we have a firm belief in an afterlife, the world to come, where those who have lived a worthy life will be rewarded. Knowing that G-d has created a place for the rightious, while our hearts are ripen open with the death of a loved one, we know where they are and one day, we shall join them.
Times like these do not make me question my faith in G-d or doubt that He is. It enforces it. For only G-d can make sense out o fall of this.
I am reminded of quotes from two of my favorite books: C.S. Lewis's The Last Battle J.R.R Tolken's The Return of the King.

From The Last Battle: There was a real railway accident,” said Aslan softly. “Your father and mother and all of you are–as you used to call it in the Shadowlands–dead. The term is over: the holidays have begun. The dream is ended: this is the morning.”
And as He spoke He no longer looked to them like a lion; but the things that began to happen after that were so great and beautiful that I cannot write them. And for us this is the end of all the stories, and we can most truly say that they all lived happily ever after. But for them it was only the beginning of the real story. All their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and the title page: now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read: which goes on forever: in which every chapter is better than the one before.”
(C. S. Lewis, The Last Battle (HarperCollins: New York, 1956) p. 228.)

And from The Return of the King:
Gandalf:Gandalf: Farewell, my brave Hobbits. My work is now finished. Here at last, on the shores of the sea, comes the end of our Fellowship. I will not say "do not weep", for not all tears are an evil. It is time, Frodo."
Sam: What does he mean?

Frodo: We set out to save the Shire, and it has been saved, but not for me.

Sam: You don't mean that. You can't leave.

Frodo: [hands Sam the RedBook book] The last pages are for you, Sam.

Frodo: [Voiceover] My dear Sam, you can not always be torn in two: you will have to be one and whole for many years. You have so much to enjoy, and to be, and to do. Your part in this story will go on....

We all are authors in this jounral called life. Our stories interwine and weave into the tapestry of the universe, of heaven itself. The black threads of pain and sorrow are those that bring out the bright, rich colours of joy. Those who have passed on to the afterlife, either heaven or hell, have set down their pens. Their portion, as Frodo stated, is complete. Just Frodo passed the RedBook onto Sam, for he had many pages more to write, so do we, who are still walk upon this good earth.
And one day, we too shall hear the crash of a train and find ourselves in Aslan's Land, where He shall begin to tell us The Great Story, the Story we, ourselves are part of and that goes on forever.

Jazzlny finished her part of the Great Book: we are left to continue to write ours.
May those who have gone before us rest in peace and may the G-d of All Comfort comfort those left to mourn.
We miss you, Jazzlyn.

Gettryburg, PA

2011-11-16T14:30:00.000-08:00

Boker Tov:
Gerryburg, PA.
One day we hope to spend more than a few fleeing nights in this remarkable city;

But right now, here a few pictures from our brief time....

Gettysburg Pennsylvania Movie Theater -

This is the Gateway Theater.
On the Reel to-do list. Since we're going to be here long, I did some research:
The Gateway Theater is a state of the arts theater and is the home of the "Fields of Freedom" movie. Field of Freedom is an unprecedented look at the Battle of Gettysburg, and has eight movie screens.
I hope lots of leg room. Mark and I are tall people.
Featuring giant viewing screens, landmark Gateway Theater boasts the most advanced sound and viewing technologies for the ultimate experience possible at a movie theater. Two theaters feature the largest digital movie screens in the country - three stories high.
Yeah, we need to come and stay longer than a night.

Looks like a cool place to eat, but Old Eagle was still close when we checked out.

The fire is as cozy as it looks....

Alas, we have to leave far too....

But now refreshed..we are on our way to Rochester, New York....

On the Road Again: Part Three

2011-11-16T06:42:00.000-08:00

Boker Tov:
So after crashing in GettysBurg and getting a pretty good night's sleep, Mark and I took our time preparing for the day. We should reach New York by evening, so we didn't feel a need to hurry.
Our hotel room at the Courtyard Marriott in GettryBurg, PA.

And yes the bed was quite comfortable...

One of the nicest things about this hotel is the internet is secure. There is wireless internet service in each room. You don't even need your own computer cord; just plug your baby in and off you go. I had a lovely talk with the night manager. She has a son station here in Norfolk and the family has plans to get together for the holidays. I told her make sure they visit Bush Gardens while in town, one of the best places to be for the winter holidays.

The morning meal was pretty good as well, though I couldn't eat it all. The only thing missing is the Starbucks coffee. Once out of Virginia, we had yet to find a Starbucks.

Not good.

Happy Veteran's Day

2011-11-11T07:12:00.000-08:00

Boker Tov:
11-11-11 Today we remember all those who have given their lives for this nation, so that each of us may enjoy the freedoms we have, including to protest, to speak out against their government, the freedom to or not to worship.
Today we give thanks to those who have served as well as those who still do.
Today I remember cousins who are deployed and praying they return home safe.
Today I give thanks that my soldier is still home.
A very happy and blessed Veteran's Day.

On The Road Again. Part 2

2011-11-10T07:15:00.000-08:00

Along the I-95, Virginia.

The Beauty and Glory of G-d's Creation.

On the Road Again

2011-11-09T06:16:00.000-08:00

Boker Tov:

Well, we're on the road again.
I do need to catch up on the others two we have been on. Each connected with the Yellow Ribbon Reingeration Program.
But more about that later.

We set out for Rochester, New York a few days ago. While it is about an ten hour drive from Virginia, I told Mark I prefer to break the trip into two days. This way we arrive safey and he will be refresh and alert for his training.
And after what we went through the last two trips, Mark was willing to go along.
So Monday afternoon, after packing and setting the house in order, headed out for our next adventure.

And you know Moshe and Abraham had to go along.

The weather was wonderful; sunny, cool, but not cold. The interstate ablazed with the autumn colours.

But my favorite part of the trip was just riding with my beloved. Whether we were singing with the radio, listening to the news or just talking, laughing over silly, private jokes, I still love the simple pleasure to be with the man I love.

We arrived in GettyBurge, PA around 8:30 pm and after a supper of pizza, and lousy pizza at that I crashed.

And Mark decided this was a good time to take a picture of my socks.....

I think their cute....

I Married Calvin

2011-11-09T05:37:00.000-08:00

Boker Tov:
One of my favorite Cartoons is Calvin and Hobbs.
I love that little guy and adore Hobbs;

Little did I realize I would one day marry Calvin...

Have to admitt, he is rather cute...

Giving. Thanks

2011-11-06T05:11:00.000-08:00

Boker Tov;
My mother always says one really can't speak about Thanks Giving without giving thanks.
Thanks why she would give to the Food Bank and ask around her office and where she attended church to make sure everyone had somewhere to send Thanks Giving.
I am thankful to be married to such a man. I rmemeber the very first time we went food shopping together and he picked up one of the food bags for the Food Bank. He said he didn't like the idea if sitting down to supper and knowing others didn't have anything to eat.
So for the most part, we try to give to the Food Bank before Shabbat, that way we know there that a faily would be site down to a family meal (whether shabbat or not).The past yeat, we have not been able to give as often as we wish, which hurts, knowing the need is even greater.

This year we learned the Jewish Family Services has not one, but two Food Closets. One for the general public (the director said she will turn no one away) and another for the Milk and Honey Closet, this side closet collects food that is kosher. Since we keep kosher, no problem there. So we buy enough for both. This day a family in need can enjoy shabbat meal.

The Hebrew word for tzedakah is often translated as charity. But tzedakah actually means something slightly different; it means justice, righteousness. According to our Sages tzedakah means we have an obligation to give to those in need.
Hmm...
We don't just give when we "feel the urge" or even guilted. It is an awareness that we are indeed our brother's keeper. It is done to prove how good, how holy, how g-dly we are, but because a fellow human being is in need. We give knowing "we enterian angels unaware."
We give because there, but by the grace of G-d goes us.
We give to say thank you to the G-d Who gave to us.
How do you say "Thank you to G-d?'
Share your bread.

The Joy of Oatmeal-Cholocate chip Cookies.

2011-11-04T06:58:00.000-07:00

Boker Tov;
A few days ago, I decided that it was time to make some cookies for my beloved.
I think a large part of this was due to the fact that once again our apartment is freezing.
The heats has kicked on a few times and then it is no more.
So we have once again broken out the heaters and sweaters. I figure a little baking would warm up the house.

So yesterday, I made some oatmeal-chocolate cookies. As I had, the front rooms of the apartment warmed up as well as making the house smell good.

"Ahhhh...cookie..... :) "

"Hmmm.....cookie..... :) "

Giving thanks for the cookie...

Jolly Rogers Was Here

2011-11-03T06:49:00.000-07:00

Boker Tov:

A few days before Halloween, I spotted this flag on top of the apartment building across the street from ours.

"Mark, that looks like a pirate's flag."

It is, Mark said. It went up Friday.

Our neighourhood is big on Hallaween, so this really didn't surprise to see it.

But I thought of my buddy Beth, knowing she loves all things pirates, so I took this picture.

Besides, I thought was kind of cool.

Autumn in Ghent.

2011-11-03T06:07:00.000-07:00

Boker Tov:

While out for our walk yesterday afternoon, we spotted down the street we were walking.

The streets of Ghent paint a lovely picture in the Autumn, often remind me of the picture puzzles my mother loves to work on.
We do a lot of walking in Ghent. The Laundry Mat we use is right there on the main street, along with the Naro, where we rent our vidoes and of course Star Bucks.
Many of the homes in Ghent are works of art. Many dating back to 1890s to 1900s, you can just imagine the stories they tell.
We spend a lot of time in Ghent during our courtship. So much so that this is where we chose to live when we got married. We laughed about the fact we actually started getting serious about where our relationship was heading around this time eight years ago, when Mark began to think about how to ask me to marry him and I was wondering when he would.
We had no money and the winds of war blew all around us. But so did love and a future together.
Ten years later, we have come full cicrle. Now married and living here in Ghent, we have no money, and Ghent is still amoung our favorite date spots. We still laugh and talk about G-d and His Torah, about books we have read and what we imagine our life looking together.
I would like to see the no money part change, however.

I Think Pink Would be Nice....

2011-11-01T11:48:00.000-07:00

Shalom:
Last Sunday Mark and I were sitting at breakfast, doing a little daydreaming about finding and buying our own home.

I have always imgained a Pink or Peach coloured two-story family home. Pink or Peach. Such peaceful colours...

"I don't think so, Laini..."
"But Mark, picture it....the outside painted pink or peach...a pink bathroom, powder blue kitchen and I even have the colours picked out for your Man Cave...."

"The same colour as the lily in the center of this flower arrangement..."

"Huh?????"

Hmmm, I don't think Mark likes the ideas for his Man Cave.....

Just Keep On Keeping On

2011-11-01T11:38:00.000-07:00

Shalom;

Well, we're still here, though there were times I'd had my doubts.
Since I last wrote, our car Princess died and the new car is doing great. And she came at the right time.
In late September Mark got a job overseeing the clean up from Hurricane Irene.
What we thought was going to be a great job, turned into a nightmare. Problems with pay, not getting paid for mileage until the job was over, early mights, late nights, missing torah services and pay checks that should have gotten us ahead, only managed to help dig us deeper in the hole.
It is times like these that you find out the stuff your marriage and your faith is builded on.
I would be lying if I didn't say the "intense fellowship" was INTENSE."
Or if I haven't been doing a lot of praying, questioning, even doubting.
There was even a time I wondered if we were going to lose our apartment and car.
Yet, through it all, G-d made a way for us to keep food on the table and pay our bills.
Last week Mark's job ended and back on unemployment he goes. For those who say "oh, there are plenty of jobs for people who really want to work," where are they?
We just keep moving, praying, praising G-d through and loving each other.
Sorry, no great insights at the moment.
Just faith

The Old, Sliver Lady

2011-08-16T08:51:00.000-07:00

Boker Tov:

First, thanks to my Buddy Beth, who left a comment on the last blog.

Yes, it is madding that we as a nation don't do more to help our men and women returning home from long deployments. The fact that many of our returning vets are coming home to find homes forcloused on and no jobs.

Support Our Troops....don't get me started....

This is the reason so many miliarty marriages break up under such strain.

It is the prayers, support and good wishes of friends such as Beth that keep us going.

Yesterday afternoon we learned that a simple oil change and car checkup wasn't so simple.

Like 2,000 dollars not simple. And the warrentiy didn't cover the work.

We don't have that kind of money now. We don't even have jobs.

Suddenly I felt like Isacc on the briar, smelling smoke and waiting for father Abraham to strike with the knife. Isacc didn't know there was a ram waiting to take his place. I am counting on it.

Our beloved car, Princess is dying. In fact, it is a miracle Mark hadn't been in an accident. The gentleman working on the car called it a death trap and didn't even advise driving it home.

And we need a car.

So Mark traded our baby in for a newer model and even got a good deal. Money will be tigh, but it is right now.

It made for a long day and night of prayer.

But Mark came home, with our new car.

And we mourned Princess.

Later as we laid in bed talking, we rememeberd that we brought Princess six years ago this month. We had been in a car accident with Mark's old jeep and it was totaled. It was hard for Mark to let go of Baby; he and baby were together since Fort Drum and she was part of our courtship, even our honeymoon.

Princess was the beginning of our marriage, even before we found the apartment we are living in now. She saw us through two deployments, a trip to South Carolina and runaways to Williamsburge. She has helped people moved, delievered chicken soup, challah, and play dough.

I am going to miss the old, silver lady.

Still Home

2011-08-15T07:05:00.000-07:00

So I went into the Dinningroom to get my coffee and tripped over Mark's army boots.
Even though he wasn't home for me to fuss at, I was still ready to fuss.
And then I stopped.

Because tripping over Mark's boots means he's still home.

Someone we love and honour remarked that we have a way of finding the bright side of things. I guess we do. And I believe it is one of the reasons our marriage is a good one. It isn't always easy to chose to look for the good; if you burn both sides of the pancakes, how do you say "honey it's just fine?" Answer: you don't serve those pancakes, but make more. Or offer to take your wife out for pancakes.

No, Mark hasn't burned the pancakes. Just likes to take me out. :)

It has been a year next month since his last deployment. And again this is the longest he has been home.
And I love it.
I remember Mark and I speaking about this the other evening, how nice it was having his home.

Yes, we both know that the lovely invitation to return to the dance Afghtanisn could come, but right now we don't think about it, just enjoying our lives.

Last week Mark mention he now knows a few of his triggers, that causes the anger to rise.
We both enjoy Fox News, but there are times it triggers an over reaction. Such as the playing games with the miliarty and their pay, their benifits. So I don't keep the news on long. And please don't suggest CNN: that's a swear word in our home.
So I keep it on Shalom TV. And on that station too, keep away from politcial news.

Besides, Shalom TV is so much better.

What is PTSD

2011-08-15T06:45:00.000-07:00

Boker Tov:

Now, before anyone accuses me of cutting and pasting, the following is indeed from various sources that I have taken notes from as I research PTSD. Others are things I already knew.

For you see, long before I even Mark, I was treated for PTSD.

And in my case, it was far worse.

So what is PTSD?

PTSD or Post-traumatic stress disorder has been around for years, but getting more headlines in recent years to the nearly ten years this naton has been at war.

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a disorder that can develop following a traumatic event that threatens one's safety and/ or makes ones feel helpless. That one could not protect oneself, one's loved ones and/or those one had charge of.

Most people associate PTSD with battle–scarred soldiers–and military combat is the most common cause in men–but any overwhelming life experience can trigger PTSD, especially if the event feels unpredictable and uncontrollable. Examples of this would be a car accident, flood, fire or home breakin.

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can affect those who personally experience the catastrophe, those who witness it, and those who pick up the pieces afterwards, including emergency workers and law enforcement officers. It can even occur in the friends or family members of those who went through the actual trauma. Example: one couldn't stop the child from being hit, one stop couldn''t the person from jumping or one couldn't stop the eviction.

PTSD develops differently from person to person. While the symptoms of PTSD most commonly develop in the hours or days following the traumatic event, it can sometimes take weeks, months, or even years before they appear.
Such events include:

War

Natural disasters
Car or plane crashes
Terrorist attacks
Sudden death of a loved one
Rape
Kidnapping
Assault
Sexual or physical abuse

Childhood neglect

Childhood bullyingThe difference between PTSD and a normal response to trauma

The traumatic events that lead to post-traumatic stress disorder are usually so overwhelming and frightening that they would upset anyone. Following a traumatic event, almost all of us will experiences at least some of the symptoms of PTSD. When one's sense of safety and trust are shattered, it’s normal to feel crazy, disconnected, numb. It is also common to have nightmares, to feel fearful, to be numb, to find it impossiable to stop thinking about what happened.

Most people find these symptoms short-lived. They may last for several days or even weeks, but they gradually lift.

But with (PTSD), the symptoms don’t decrease, but they get worse.

A normal response to trauma becomes PTSD when you become stuck in the moment.

After a traumatic experience, the mind and the body are in shock. But as one make sense of what happened and process one's emotions, one works through the emotions and finds once again a place of calm, of normal.

This is not the case with PTSD.

One remain in psychological shock. One's memory of what happened and feelings about it are disconnected. One still sees, feels, tastes, ears and smells the event. It is as real at that moment as it was when the event first took place. In order to move on, it’s important to face and feel the memories and emotions.

The symptoms PTSD can come out of the blue or gradually, or come and go over time. Often they are triggered by something that reminds one of the original traumatic event, such as a noise, an image, certain words, or a smell.

I found this list on list. Whileeveryone experiences PTSD differently, there are three main types of symptoms most have in common:

Re-experiencing the traumatic event
Avoiding reminders of the trauma
Increased anxiety and emotional arousal
Symptoms of PTSD: Re-experiencing the traumatic event
Intrusive, upsetting memories of the event
Flashbacks (acting or feeling like the event is happening again)
Nightmares (either of the event or of other frightening things)
Feelings of intense distress when reminded of the trauma
Intense physical reactions to reminders of the event (e.g. pounding heart, rapid breathing, nausea, muscle tension, sweating)
Symptoms of PTSD: Avoidance and numbing
Avoiding activities, places, thoughts, or feelings that remind you of the trauma
Inability to remember important aspects of the trauma
Loss of interest in activities and life in general
Feeling detached from others and emotionally numb
Sense of a limited future (you don’t expect to live a normal life span, get married, have a career)
Symptoms of PTSD: Increased anxiety and emotional arousal
Difficulty falling or staying asleep
Irritability or outbursts of anger
Difficulty concentrating
Hypervigilance (on constant “red alert”)
Feeling jumpy and easily startled
Other common symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder
Anger and irritability
Guilt, shame, or self-blame
Substance abuse
Feelings of mistrust and betrayal
Depression and hopelessness
Suicidal thoughts and feelings
Feeling alienated and alone
Physical aches and pains

Again, all of us can experience a few, some or all these symptoms because of an dramatic event. It is when the symptoms increase in time that there is a problem that needs to be adressed.

However, there is indeed hope and treatment for PTSD.

I am livning proof of that.

More later.

Silience is The Emeny

2011-08-15T06:00:00.000-07:00

Boker Tov;

The reason Mark and I speak out about the PTSD because silence is a killer.
PTSD, like many forms of depression, are still not pnly misunderstood, but not taken seriously.

A "real man can handle anything," is still a catch-word, thrown about like a football.

As the intake worker told Mark and I, "you can't go through four tours and not come out affected." It can't be medicated away, washed away with wine, or prayed away. "Claiming your healing," only adds more guilt that isn't needed.

G-d does heal, but sometimes that healing comes from going through the pregress, not having it taken away.

Besides, prayer isn't a lucky charm.

There is help out there for our warriors, but many fear they will get kicked out of the service over it, that it will affect their careers. It doesn't have to.

Many fear what will happen to their marriages, will their family and friends understand and worse, so much worse will their wife or husband still love them?

With Mark we are able to say there is very little signs of the disorder. But that is because his love for me and our life together was stronger than his pride.

And I realize my beloved needed my love and help, not watching my back side as I walked away when he needed me the most.

It was when the Beast was dealt head on that it because to weaken and finally starting to die.

I learned a lot during this past year as Mark and I struggled through financial lost, health issues and readjustments. There is a time for a couple to band together, close out the world and between and G-d face the storm. We must use wisdom in choosing the people that are to be in our lives; don't over look the red-flags and listen to each other about doubts. This would include with whom and where we worship.

That silence is a killer.

Many who couldn't hande the pain any longer have taken their own lives.

I don't want to read another soldier feeling that helpless.

And that is why we are speaking out.

We Are Amused :)

2011-08-14T16:15:00.000-07:00

Shalom:

Well it is another week.

Last friday, was Mark's last day of his Work-Study.
This week he has two interviews with the hopes of picking up tutoring jobs.
As our rabbi pointed out friday afternoon, more and more g-dly people are homeschooling their children and are looking for good science teachers who share their moral and spiritual values.
Yes, when he isn't serving with his unit as an Army Reservist, Mark is a science teacher.
And a science teacher of the worst (or best depending on your view); a torah-observate science teacher.
Should be an interesting year.

I am happy to say that the treatment is beginning to make a huge difference. Mark has PTSD, not as bad as most, but bad enough he needs treatment. Part of his healing was admitting there was a problem.
He laughs again and smiles more. I had to take my track shoes out of moth balls because once again I again getting chased around the apartment.

A huge part is finding just the right support as well as the right medication. We now have a strong support network that doesn't judge, but helps.

I was told much of the progress is due to the fact that I have fought to find Mark what he needed, to protect him from all that would harm him and kick his butt when that was needed as well.

"Do you have any idea how marriages are destroyed over PTD?" I'd been asked.

Too many.

For me it is this simple: I didn't allow nay sayers, cancer or two wars take Mark away from me and PTSD doesn't stand a chance as well.

In marriage there is no such thing as 'his problem' or 'her problem.' It's 'our problem." Whether is is drugs, brooze, cheating, grambling or some form of illness, it is the couple's problem.

So it isn't really Mark has PTSD as it is WE have PTSD.

And it reather nice now to be off the Roller Coaster and on the Merry Go Round.

I hate Roller Coasters.

2011-08-12T11:16:00.000-07:00

A Shabbat Story:

The Newark Riots and a Match Made in Heaven

By Yossy Gordon
My uncle, Rabbi Sholom Gordon of blessed memory, was a Lubavitch emissary in New Jersey, starting in the early forties. Over the years, he touched thousands of lives.
Sometime around 1960, the mother of a former student of Uncle Sholom approached him with a problem. Her daughter, who had reached marriageable age several years before, was having a hard time finding a shidduch (match). Aware of the Rebbe's greatness, the desperate mother asked Sholom to arrange a meeting for her with the Rebbe. Sholom complied, and even drove the mother, along with her son who was accompanying her, to meet the Rebbe, of righteous memory.
"When G‑d sends her bashert... then I will close the store"My uncle waited outside. When the mother emerged from the Rebbe's office, she looked upset. "What happened?" Sholom inquired. "Well," answered the mother, "I went in to the Rebbe and asked him for a blessing for my daughter's shidduch. I was surprised when the Rebbe began to ask me questions about my life. He asked me what our source of livelihood is. I told him that we have a very successful store in Newark. The Rebbe asked me if the store is open on Shabbat. I told him that it is.
"Then, and this is what I really do not understand, the Rebbe suggested that since we are financially secure, we should close our store on Shabbat and that G‑d will then send our daughter her bashert (intended one). I countered that we need the store to provide for our daughter in case something happens to us and she does not get married. When G‑d sends her bashert... then I will close the store. The Rebbe disagreed.
"Rabbi Gordon," continued the woman, "I am from Europe. I know chassidic rebbes. I thought they just gave blessings and wanted a donation. I didn't come here for business advice..."
Years went by. 1967 arrived and with it came the Newark Riots and violence and vandalism. The store owned by Sholom's former student's parents was among those destroyed in the melee. Already nearing retirement age, and with her husband having passed away shortly beforehand, the mother decided not to rebuild the store.
The store was finally closed on Shabbat.
Within a few months, the daughter met her bashert. Today, thank G‑d, she is the mother of a well-respected family.

The Year of Living Biblically Part 2

2011-08-12T07:38:00.000-07:00

Boker Tov:

I brought the book just before Passover at Temple Israel's gift shop.

The title grabbed my attention because I remember reading about A.J.'s quest and didn't know how things turned out.

The other reason is A.J hinself. Author of the book, The Know-It-All, A.J. is the only person other than myself who ever read The Encyclopaedia Britannica from A to Z.

Last Saturday I was reading some of the book to Mark and told him about my draw to Jacob's book....

"Wait a minute!" Mark demanded, "YOU have read the whole Encyclopaedia?"

"Yes. It was summer time and I was bored. I always researching something and another subject caught my attention. So I just kept reading."

Not that I really remember everything I read.

Mark shook his head. "Now doesn't that surpise me."

Anyway, anyone that brave to take on all 613 commandments of the Torah and the over 1,000 commandments found in the New Testatment, plus those rules found in extra-biblical writings for one year and live through it, I had to read.

And since much of the commandments are connected to the Land Israel and Temple worship, this is going to be a mightly task.

Right now I am reading about A.J. realzing that G-d is always speaking. That this isn't a very quiet Being.

No surpise on my part.

Nor is this book a quiet read.

I find myself reading outloud various passages, putting the book down and discussing what I just read.

There is the story of his writing out the list of rules, dos and don'ts. And the contacting of a shatnez tester.

Shatnez is the hebrew word for :mixed fibers." A shatnez tester will come to your home and test your clothing for mixed fibers.

You can't always trust labels, so unless you know what to look for, you need one of G-d's wardrobe detective.

No I didn't make that up.

So our author recieves a lesson about fabic mixings.

And so does the reader.

The Year of Living Biblically

2011-08-11T18:06:00.000-07:00

Shalom:
Right now I a reading a wonderful book by A.J. Jacobs, The Year of Living Biblically. I had heard of this story last year, of one man's quest to live as biblically as he could.
Not G-dly. Biblically.
The story is amazing, funny and quite frankly makes me think about the things I believe and why do I believe them.
A.J. was raised in a secular home, but over the years became increasing in matters of religion and its role in our modern lives. So he decided to live as closely to the Bible as he could for one full year. Such as keeping the ten commandments, avoiding wearing wool and linen and stoning adulters.
His was an honest, humble atempt, for one who's an agnostic.

It is indeed a page turner and makes the reader think. A.J. doesn't just stick to reading and following the bible, but takes the time to talk to an Amish man named Amos, a Jehovah's Witness, a visit to Lynchburg and to Israel.
You don't have to be a religious person to enjoy The Year of Living Biblically. Just someone willing to join in an adventure of a life time.

Adjustments

2011-08-11T17:42:00.000-07:00

Shalom:
I am happy to say I am out of the walking shoe and the toe is fully healed. The big toe nail is slowly growing back.
Mark is coming to the end of his work-study job at the VA. We are hopeful with the new school year beginning soon, he will pick up a job as a Science teacher, doing some tutoring on the side.
And I am in the middle of a hebrew's test. I am going through my first book, page by page. My teacher says I am doing great and I need to trust myself. To have more faith in myself for I know more than I think I do,
Life is a bit of an adjustment. I am thankful Mark is home; this is the longest he has been home since we have been married.
It does mean living on less.
And it means having to listen to folks say: "I don't understand why people can't find work. There are plenty of jobs out there."
Really? Like many Vets, my husband is having a devil of a time finding a job; ANY JOB. Where are these "jobs" I keep hearing about?

Have faith? Yes, we have faith. And it has been stretched greatly.

But in all things we give thanks.
For our home, our friends and family, for each other.

And for the unemployment checks.

My Big Fat Toe

2011-07-14T07:17:00.000-07:00

Boker Tov:
(Which sounds like "broke your toe")
I am sitting in my dayroom, enjoying a cup of coffee.
Truly enjoying my coffee.
Last night was the first time I actually slept. I didn't once wake up in pain. It's been a week since I'd had a good night sleep.
This morning, I actually woke up with a smile and not throw the pillow over my face.
It's a start.
Mark got a part part-time working at the Veteran Center. he starts next week.
It's a start.
And since I am feeling better, I get some things done.
What my big fat toe will allow.
Though now healing nicely, my big fat toe still doesn't allow me to stand long or put much weigh on it. It doesn't allow me to make the bed or clean the bathroom.
But it allows me to fold fresh washed laundry, go though old papers, some need to be fined, others throw away. It allows me to study for the big hebrew test I have coming up.
It is amazing how focus one's toe, big, tiny otherwise, can make one.
The things I had been meaing to do, little projects I needed to finish, I am now working on.
I am even thinking of ways to decorate the bandage since I am going to be wearing this for another week or so.
Might as well have some fun.

It's the Little Things

2011-07-12T16:05:00.000-07:00

Shalom:
First, thanks to all who left wonderful, encouraging messages. Trust me, they mean a lot.
Right now, as I type this, I am wating for the pain medication to kick in. Mark had to chance my dressing. I have small toes; he has big hands, which leads to lots of pain.
Afterwards, Mark just holds my foot in his lap, stroking it softy.
Its those little things that mean the most.
How often we take the little things, like toes, for granted until their hurt in some form or fashion. Our teeth until they start hurting. A loved one until they die.
We go through this life taking so much for granted.
The little things.
I now giggle as I hop along the house. It takes my right toe to keep my balance. But how often did I take my balance for granted, just kicking my shoes off when I come home or run through the house.
One of the things I am learning during this time is living a life of Thanksgiving. To give thanks for all things; big and small.
Like my big right toe.

A Matter of Faith

2011-07-11T16:12:00.000-07:00

Shalom:
It has been an insterting several weeks. Full of ups and downs, yelling and screaming and even a few times, "I quit!"
But G-d and I are still speaking.
It's a matter of faith.
My beloved and I are now celebrating six years of marriage.
The past twelves months have been the hardest.
Between the time Mark was in the Wounded Warrior Program while we care for a very sick friend who almost left us, Mark's depression and now almost a year of job searching, this has been those times that tries the souls and faith of men and women.
Mark is a Civil Affairs officer. When he isn't deployed, he goes back to Army Reserves status. But since we have been marriage, Mark has been deployed twice for twelve to four-teen months, comes home for three to six months and then on his way out to the field again.
This means he never gets to put to use the very skill he has trained for; a science teacher.
This month, will mark 11 months Mark has been home. The longest he has been home since we have been married.
His two months leave was used up taking care of a friend. Then dealing with coming out of the black hole.
All I could do is love him and pray for him.
As a Vet, one would think job offers and employers would open their doors to him. But like everyone, he has been searching for a job, any job to take care of his family.
All I can do is love him and pray for him.
And just as the point when I was ready to play Esther and over a lovely meal suggest I also look for a job to help out, I deveople Cellilitius which is an infection of the tisse, in my case, my big right toe. With a huge bandage on my huge big toe, wearing a walking boot when I am allowed up for the next two to three weeks, my job search is on hold.
All I can do is love my husband and pray.
To be honest, there are many times I find myself yelling at G-d. How can men and women who serve their country, even to the point of putting thier lives on the line, not be able to find a job? It isn't just my Mark. I have heard so many stories of others in the similiar boat. Vets now having to apply for Food Stamps, and losing their homes.
It isn't fair, it isn't right.
It is life in America: there are no jobs for anyone.
So how do I do this.
It's a matter of faith. It is knowing that G-d is still in control, that He truly sees, hears and cares.
Right now, as I look at my toe with a fresh bandage wrapped around it by my beloved who feels that is this is the only thing he can truly do for me. I pray. I pray for a job for myself and others who are seeking work.
That I don't become bitter. That I remember G-d is working behind the scences even though I don't see it.
It's a matter of faith.

A Head of Straw, A Head of Torah

2011-07-01T06:10:00.000-07:00

Boker Tov:
Yes, I know it has been a very long time. Over a month in fact.
The reason is simple: I was thinking of just letting the blog go. I began thinking, I really don't have anything to say, anything important. Mark is still home. In fact, this has been the longest he has been home.
But then I have spend the past week reading e-mail, letters from people who tell me how much they like reading the blog, are encouraged in their marriage, in learning Torah, in seeking out the roots of their faith and even rethinking a few things.
So, I decided to keep it going.
Besides, now that life is less crazy, I have time.

Two nights ago was a landmark moment for me. We even invited to a birthday party for my hebrew teacher Emily. Several of her students showed up to pay honour to her. There is a memory book being made for her, filled with our stories and pictures.
Mark shared how Emily was the teacher that was able to get through to me in teaching how to read hebrew, and the growth he saw not only in my learning hebrew, but as a person, developing more self-esteem. After Mark shared, I read the very first verse of Gensis in hebrew.
Last night, I read the first two verses of Gensis in hebrew to my mother.
As the rabbi's wife (Emily, mum) said to me that night, a whole new world is now open to me as I now can begin to read G-d's Word in the Holy Tongue as it was indeed meant to be.
My jounry in hebrew has reminded of a story from the Talmud of a man who through his tears, learned Torah....

A TALMUDIC TALE:

Eliezer was the son of Hurkanas, a leading rabbi of his generation and a very wealthy man.
Eliezer was plowing on the mountain, and he began to cry. His father said: "Why are you crying? If it's hot up on the mountain, I'll move you down to the plain." So Eliezer began to plow in the plain, and cried there too.
"Why are you crying?" Hurkanas asked.
"I want to learn Torah," said Eliezer. He cried until Elijah the Prophet came and told him to go to Jerusalem and seek out Rebbe Yochanan Ben Zakkai, the greatest sage of his generation.
Eliezer went to Jerusalem -- and you guessed it -- started crying: "I want to learn Torah."
Rebbe Yochanan Ben Zakkai asked: "Didn't they even teach you to say the Shema?"
"Nope."
And so the great sage, Rebbe Yochanan Ben Zakkai, taught Eliezer the ABCs of Judaism. Then he said, "Very good, Eliezer. We were successful. Now it's time for you to go."
Eliezer started crying: "I want to learn more Torah."
So Rebbe Yochanan Ben Zakkai taught Eliezer the Five Books of Moses and the Oral Law. After this, Rebbe Yochanan said, "Eliezer, it is time for you to go."
Eliezer cried: "I want to learn more Torah!"
And so it went. Then one day, Eliezer was sitting and learning Torah in the back of the study hall. Unexpectedly, his father Hurkanas walked in. At which point, Rebbe Yochanan Ben Zakkai told Eliezer to move to the front and recite his Torah aloud.
After Eliezer had finished, Hurkanas stood up, and beaming with pride, said: "Eliezer, at first I wanted to give my property to all of my sons but you. But now I am going to give everything I have to you and you alone!"
Eliezer replied, "My father, if I wanted gold and silver, I would have stayed working on the farm. All I want is Torah." And Rabbi Eliezer Ben Hurkanas went on to become the leader of his generation, and the teacher of the great Rebbe Akiva....."

It is said that Eliezer was a slow learner, one with a head filled with straw. That it would be a wasted efforted to even to try to teach him the Shema, let alone Torah. It took the great sage Rebbe Yochamam Ben Zakkai to be able to reach Eliezer. But the biggest breakthrough was Eliezer's tears. He wanted to learn so badly it drove him to tears until he recieved that which he sought. The Jewel known as Torah.
Like Eliezer, I cried many tears, begging to learn hebrew, for I wish to learn Torah in hebrew, the holy langugae. For six years, teacher after teacher tried until I was ready to give up.
And then came Emily. Emily who is handicapped and knows the struggles I have in learning, going through special schooling, not only learned hebrew, but has taught hebrew for the past several years.
Through Emily I have learned how patient G-d is with each of, walking beside us and rejoicing in that "I got It!" moment. How He beams when we realize "I can do this!"
My new friend Jodie told me as I learn hebrew, I will learn a lot about others, about myself.
That is true.
And one of the first lesson is to turn A head of straw into a head of Torah.

I Don't Believe So

2011-05-20T12:13:00.000-07:00

Shalom:
By now most who are reading this blog entry have heard that the World is Ending tomorrow.
One Harold Camping, 89 years old, has, using the scriptures and what he believes are biblical dates (i.e the date of Noah's Flood, etc) that the rapture will occur tomorrow evening around six p.m.
Mr. Camping believes that the Rapture, when Messiah will call His people home to be with Him and all hell will break loose on earth.
I did a little research on Mr. Camping; this isn't the first time he has set the date as 1994, even wrote a book by that title. 1994? (That's the title)
Because of my home training and torah teaching, Mr. Camping is an older man and so I shall be respect, though I do believe he is wrong.
As a Messinac Jew, I do believe in the words of Yeshua who said "No man knows the times or seasons of the Coming of the Son of Man, not even the Son."
The meaning is clear, not even Messiah knows when He shall return.
The return of Messiah is to be as a Thief in the Night.
No thief announce when he/she will break into a home.
Are we living in the last days before Messiah's return? Yes. But for people of faith, this isn't a fearful thing, but something that gives us hope. A hope we can share with others.
Sadly, all Mr.Camping has done has caused fear with many and caused g-dly people to be a laughstock. Because every person who has ever set a date they believe is when "Messiah Returns" or "The World Will End" has proved to be false and they come out looking like liars.
I truly believe in the Promises of the Bible and Messiah. I also believe the Torah.
"No man knows the day or the hour."
With respect Mr. Camping, I don't believe so.

Heaven: My Home Sweet Home

2011-05-16T15:44:00.000-07:00

Shalom:
Today, in a interview with the Guradian newspaper, Stephen Hawking, the famous British physicist, called the notion of heaven a "fairy story". A belief that heaven or an afterlife awaits us is a "fairy story for people afraid of death."

Really?
In a dismissal that underlines his firm rejection of religious comforts, Britain's most eminent scientist said there was nothing beyond the moment when the brain flickers for the final time.
Well, Professor Hawking has a right to his opinions. And franking, I am not smart enough to debate. I would never stand a change; look like at this cute, round, brown jewish frum and I would be tasty pudding within minutes.
I know many who share his thoughts. Again, that is their belief and their right.
But for me, I have never even wrestled with the thought of if there is life after death. Not because of my upbringing, but just a sense in my being that this could not be all there is. That to life some seventy, eighty years and then to go into nothingness just doesn't make sense to me.
It IS science that convice me that there is life beyond the grave as well as my faith.
And I am married to a science teacher who says the evidence of G-d is there for all who wish to see.
His words, not my.
Fairy Story.
Those who say we who believe in G-d and Heaven are trusting in a fairy story. I would suggest Professor Hawkins read the history of Fairy Tales. More often than not, they were based on some true event or story. There was some morale to them that imparted a truth to the young and old alike.
Since a white knight did indeed come riding into my life, slay the dragon and after our fairy tale wedding, took to the castle we decorated ourselves and living pretty happyily ever after, I have no problem believing in the fairy story of Heaven.
Besides, no one as of yet has made me a better offer.
Heaven: what a wonderful choice.

What is Your Torah? Part 2

2011-05-15T06:44:00.000-07:00

Boker Tov:
It has been a quiet day for far.
Mark is attending his last day of drill. It's crazy to miss your beloved so much when they shall return home with twelve hours instead of twelve months, but I do.
So, right now I am taking a break from cleaning the bedroom. Really can't rearrange the room; too small. And still no good leads on finding a home.
But our house is out there.

I remember as a child learning Torah at the feet on mother, grandmother and uncle Oscar.
Different points of view and yet they said the same thing:
"Put shoe leather to your prayers (Grandmother)
"Be the answer to the prayers you utter (Mother)
"If you can't live it, keep my mouth shut. (Uncle Oscar.)
Oh there was more, of course, but the lession stuck.
Mainly because I watched the examples of others.
I watched people who claimed to be followers of G-d, to love, honour and obey Him. People who could spend hours and hours studying the bible, praying and preaching to others. Yet their families went often time neglected, their work habits weren't the best and were as mean as a snake.
And then I knew people claimed to love G-d, to honour follow and obey Him and spend a few hours in Bible study and prayer and their familes had their full attendion and knew they were loved. These dear people were the most faithful of workers and were amoung the kindnest , sweetest, G-d like folk I have ever met.
The diffence?
One word: Balance.
Yes, I love my time of prayer and study. But it cannot be my life. I am also a wife, G-d willing day, a mother, a daughter and a friend. I am a servant of G-d.
Just as there must be a balance in all areas of life, it must be the same in our spiritual as well. Just as I must make time to be with the Holy One, I also must make time to be with my beloved, with friends, with family. It is the making of a meal, changing of a diaper, sharing a cup of coffee with a friend. It is sharing a laugh with Liz via the inernet and praying for my doggie buddie Koda who is fighting cancer.
So what is my Torah?
Life

What is Your Torah? Part One

2011-05-15T06:39:00.000-07:00

Boker Tov:
A Hasidic Rabbi once went to visit his friend. His friend studied while his child cried in the next room. The Rabbi asked him "Don't you hear your child? Why don't you go to him?" His friend, emerging from the reverie of learning, said "You know, I get so immersed in the intricacy and beauty of Torah that I tune out the world." The Rabbi admonished him, "If your Torah makes you neglect the cry of a child, then your Torah is no Torah."

The Torah.
Most people when they think of Torah, this of the first five books of the Bible, The Law given to Moses to give to the Nation of Isreal.
While true, Torah also means The Teaching of G-d, The Word of G-d. It means Command, Commandments. It is the first five books, but it is also all of the Bible.
The Torah is the Tree of Life and a Light to our path. The Torah is as sweet as honey and a balm to those who are need of healing. The Torah teaches us how to live, how to treat others as well as The Holy One's love letter to us.
But how often is Torah neglected? How many who claim to love G-d, not go to His House to ear His Torah? How many fail to sit at the feet of a teacher and learn? How many bibles sit on bedsides and coffee tbales unread?
The beauty of Torah. So yes, I have gotten lost in her....and then found myself running about, because I have twenty minutes to get ready for work!
That isn't being holy...that was a misuse of my time.
Torah drives us to do better, be better, treat our family, friends and co-workers in a lovely, loving matter.

But Torah can be misused as well. As the story above, child's cry went unheard because its father was studying Torah. How many cries of children, husbands and wives, mother and fathers go unheard because we are "studying" "praying". How many neighour needs go unmet because we are hurrying to the House of G-d, to prayer, to Bible study.
If we are beating others over the head with its teaching, if we are pounding the desk or table with her as we judge others, then our torah is not Torah.
If we are so busy praying and studying that our wives, husbands, parents, children are neglected, that we tune out the needs of our neighours, then our torah isn't Torah.
Torah leads us to a life of love and good deeds. It leads us to shine forth the Light of the Holy One onto a darken world. It leads us to share our shabbat table as well as the beauty of Torah.
Some of my favorite stories is of rabbis, pastors and teachers who have been late for services because they stopped to help change a tire, stopped with supper for a sick neighour or was helping their daughter with her math homework. A minister who sweeps the church floor, the rabbi who deliver meals on wheels. A family who invites to their table the family of a soldier serving in Iraq.
That's Torah.

.

Carolina CupCakery: A Sweet Treat

2011-05-11T10:21:00.000-07:00

Boker Tov:
Several years ago, I gave my mother a Mother's Day card that cost six dollars.
Yes, it was a VERY nice card.
Mummie loved it. But guess who forgot to blacken out the price on the back of the card?
One eyebrow went up; "I better be able to eat this!"
To say that mummie was ready to hit me with her cane over spend so much money on a card is an understatement.
So this year, to avoid a repect of the above, I decided on something sweet.
Several months ago, Mark while getting coffee, found  Carolina CupCakery Cafe. A little pricey, but worth it. Made from srcatch, all natural, the company offers not only kosher, but vegan and gluten free cupcakes.
There are several reasons why I love this store and not just because they offer a good cupcake:
Dawn, the Founder and owner of Carolina Cupcakery, along with her two daughters started the busniess about four years ago. From the beginning, Dawn has been committed to offering a preservative-free, chemical-free gourmet product. She had been advised that her idea would not work because so many people prefer the cheaper super moist box mixes.
Thankfully, Dawn didn't listen.
As a baker myself, I know that scratch baked goods do not taste like pudding and they do not last for weeks. Butter, sugar and flour have expiration dates and cupcakes do too. There are no  preservatives in Carolina Cupcakes, but they are nice and fresh.
The fact that the owner has gone out of her way to make a product to a market often overlooked as well as  taste good is a major plus.
And they are pretty.

This is AnnaBella, made for mum Reel's birthday. It is a lemon cupcake with a lavender flower on top. She said it was wonderful.

And these lovely beauties are the Red Velvet. This is the sweet treat we decided to give our mothers instead of cards.
Mummie said her cupcake lasted 15 minutes.
Both mums love the new tradition of cupcakes instead of cards.
I know dad is waiting for next month :)

Shabbat, Lovely Shabbat

2011-05-06T14:43:00.000-07:00

It is almost Shabbat.
Lovely, lovely Shabbat.
After the week that was, Shabbat is the glorious rest we need.

The roast and veggies are done and I am about to make the salad. The scent of challah fills the air.
The table will soon be set. The wine pour and the songs of shabbat shall echo through the house.
It is times like these that shabbat is the most precious.
We will turn off the TV and the computer, shut the door on the world.
For it is shabbat.
If the there is ever a time we have needed you, it is now.

Honour thy Mother and Father

2011-05-06T06:51:00.000-07:00

Boker Tov;
Well it is that time of the year again: the selling of pricely cards, flowers and boxes of candy. Dresses and jewerly on sale.
No it isn't V. Day, but Mother's Day.
Or as we call it in our home, Guilt Day.
Why Guilt Day? Because all we long we are told "buy this flower to show your mother you love her." Or "Show your mother you love her and buy this necklace." And my favorite "20% off all Mother Day cards this week only."
Like they sell Mother Day's cards the rest of the year.
Even the woman who's idea Mother Day's was by the time of her death was calling for its end because the day had become too commerial.

My mother and I were talking about this a few days ago.
Some of my friends do not celebrate Mother's Day because of its pagan roots. And if it isn't in Torah, they don't have a part in it.
Others go on the other extreme and shower their mother with all the above.
My mother thinks the pagan connection is silly and the other extreme of showering mother with gifts and flowers (which is frankly worshipping your mother) is uncalled for and insane.
"Instead of spending five dollars on a card, just give me the cash." Mummie would say.
My mother would often say of her own mother: "I gave mama her flowers while she was still alive." Whether she was living with us or later when Grandmother had to go to live in a Nursing Home, mummie always brought her mother flowers for her room once a week.
For the last five years of her life, Grandmother lived with us. It wasn't an easy time. Yet I watched my mother give my grandmother the love and care she needed. No matter how busy she was, mummie always found the time to visit with her mother. Even if it meant traveling to 45 minutes to the Nursing Home three time a week.
I learned from watcing my mother care for her own mother what it means to truly honour your mother.
Mummie often tells me how proud she is of my sister Eileen and I. How happy she is with the women we grew into and how we live our lives. How we live our lives is our gift to her; this is honour we honour.
The flowers and candy are nice. But for her, she knows her daughters and sons-in-law love her, are there for her and that every day is Mother's Day.
Mother's Day is suppose to honour the 'mothers of our nation."
That's nice. And how many "mothers" will have to go to work that day instead of getting the day off? How many will get a Mother's Day bonus in their paycheck?"
How many of us will get a call from a child we haven't heard from in a year. Or not at all?
I love my mother and mother-in-law. I love being a mum. And next to be a military wife, it is the toughest, yet most rewarding job on earth.
Sunday this nation will say "Happy Mother's Day." to the nations mothers. And I do think that is a good thing.
Mothers, like fathers, are our nations heroes. She who rocks the cradle, rules the world. And I don't see a thing wrong with giving every mother the honour she is due.
But let us just be sure it is because we love them and not because call companys tell us to.
Happy Mother's Day.

A Wasted Life

2011-05-05T13:28:00.000-07:00

I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that" - Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr

Shalom:
On 10th March, 1957, in Riyadh Saudi Arabia, Osama bin Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden was born int a wealthy family, which had and still has close ties to the Saudi royal family.
There was much Bin Laden, as he would come to be called, could have done with his life.
Gone into and taken over his family busniesses. Gone to school and become a doctor, lawyer or even a religious leader or teacher of his faith. With his money, Bin Laden could have have used his family's wealth and name to help his nation and/or the world's poor. The building of schools and hosptials, building busniesses that gave people jobs and better their lives.
Instead, Bin Laden's life was one that took, and not gave. He took lives; not only over 3,000 on 9-11, but fellow muslims. His extreme religious and political views did not remain his own point of veiw, but became the fuel that that flew planes into the Twin Towers and place a sword into the hand that put to death Daniel Pearl as well as others.t harm. He did nothing to make world a better place, but caused many tears.
In 1994, the bin Laden family disowned Osama and the Saudi government revoked his passport. The Saudi government also stripped Osama bin Laden of his citizenship, for publicly speaking out against them, after they permitted U.S. troops to be based in Saudi Arabia in preparation for the 1991 Gulf War.

All of my muslim friends say they were glad Bin Laden was gone; that he brought nothing but shame to Islam. He brought dishonour to all they hold dear and do not mourn his death.
As one friend said: "he wasted the life G-d gave him."
Mark and I were up when the news came about his death.
Interesting, Bin Laden has been a part of our lives for these ten years. Part of our friendship, courtship, marriage. The reason my beloved has bee deployed four times. There isn't a miliarty household Bin Laden hasn't touch and we are all thankful he is no longer in our lives.
As a miliarty family, we are glad justice has been served. No, his death will not bring back his victims. All justice on this side of heaven is imperfect. Full and total judgement will come from G-d. And we are fully aware that though the warl-rd is gone, the war still goes on. But we are not dancing in the streets, cheering or passing out candy.
Bin Laden was pure evil and needed to go.
But Bin Laden is not an victim. He didn't go up poor and derived. He wasn't oppressed or depressed. He made choices that led to his dead body being dumped into the sea instead of being buriel with the honour given to those of his faith.
Yes, his followers and his young wife shall mourn him. But they few.
A wasted life, my friend said.
When I am called before the Throne of the Holy One, I hope to have lived a life where people will indeed cry and mourn and be sadden that I am no longer here. That I shall leave this world better than when I arrived and people will give thanks to G-d for my life and not uttering, "Thank You G-d, she's gone."

The Week That Was.

2011-05-04T06:29:00.000-07:00

Boker Tov:
When friends, it has been quite a week.
Last Thrusady we woke to the news of six states being hit by killer storms that wiped out homes, lives and whole Friday, the future king of England, Prince Williams was married. Now known as the Duke and Duchness of Cambridge, they couple has begun their new live together and most of the people of the world wish them the best.

This Sunday, the Vatcan took the next step in making the late Pope JohnPaul a staint.
And in the Reel house, we were preparing to remember Holoust Remembance Day which started @ sunset.
On this day, we remember those six million Jews who were send to their deaths for being Jews. Hilter's "Final Solution" And sadly Hilter got his idea from the writings of Martin Luther.
But other also went to the gas chambers. Six thousend Jehovah's Witnesses, Russians, Gyspies, the elderly as well as those "rightious gentiles" who worked to save Jewish lives.
In the Reel home, we remember and honour their lives as well.

And then there was that Breaking News later that evening....
Mark and I were up late Sunday evening and about to head for bed when we heard the breaking news. The TV was on Fox, which meant the news was coming in real time.
Mark and I finished up what we were doing, listening.
What could be so important that it's announced after ten o clock?
I said to Mark, someone died. With recent events, I thought it was Libya's Colonial.Muammar al-Gaddafi.
But then, out of the blue Geraldo Rivera said: "could it be Bin Laden?"
Where did that com from?
Twenty minutes later, the news was indeed that Bib Laden was dead.
Good guess (?????) Mr. Rivera.
Interesting that the news "broke" during Donald Trump's show, The Apprentice.
We listened to the President's speech and then, after shutting everything down, headed for bed.
Yes, we saw the celebrations on TV.
We didn't join in.
Bin Laden was pure evil. He needed to go before destroying any more lives. We gave thanks that justice was finally served.
But we do enjoy in any man's death; even our enemies.
Before bed, we prayed for those in the South, still reeling from the killer storms and for the families, friends and survivors of 9-11.

Mark and Laini Do the Royal Wedding Part Two

2011-04-29T15:17:00.000-07:00

I made a point of looking and finding the sermon given at the Wedding of the now Duks and Duchness of Cambridge.
The Bishop captured the essence of what Mark and I believe marriage is.
If only someone had shared this with Prince Williams's parnets....

"Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire." So said St Catherine of Siena, whose festival day it is today. Marriage is intended to be a way in which man and woman help each other to become what God meant each one to be, their deepest and truest selves.

Many are full of fear for the future of the prospects of our world but the message of the celebrations in this country and far beyond its shores is the right one - this is a joyful day! It is good that people in every continent are able to share in these celebrations because this is, as every wedding day should be, a day of hope.
In a sense every wedding is a royal wedding with the bride and the groom as king and queen of creation, making a new life together so that life can flow through them into the future.
William and Catherine, you have chosen to be married in the sight of a generous God who so loved the world that he gave himself to us in the person of Jesus Christ.
And in the Spirit of this generous God, husband and wife are to give themselves to each another.
A spiritual life grows as love finds its centre beyond ourselves. Faithful and committed relationships offer a door into the mystery of spiritual life in which we discover this; the more we give of self, the richer we become in soul; the more we go beyond ourselves in love, the more we become our true selves and our spiritual beauty is more fully revealed. In marriage we are seeking to bring one another into fuller life.
It is of course very hard to wean ourselves away from self-centredness. And people can dream of doing such a thing but the hope should be fulfilled it is necessary a solemn decision that, whatever the difficulties, we are committed to the way of generous love.
You have both made your decision today - "I will" - and by making this new relationship, you have aligned yourselves with what we believe is the way in which life is spiritually evolving, and which will lead to a creative future for the human race.
We stand looking forward to a century which is full of promise and full of peril. Human beings are confronting the question of how to use wisely a power that has been given to us through the discoveries of the last century. We shall not be converted to the promise of the future by more knowledge, but rather by an increase of loving wisdom and reverence, for life, for the earth and for one another.
Marriage should transform, as husband and wife make one another their work of art. It is possible to transform as long as we do not harbour ambitions to reform our partner. There must be no coercion if the Spirit is to flow; each must give the other space and freedom. Chaucer, the London poet, sums it up in a pithy phrase:
"Whan maistrie [mastery] comth, the God of Love anon
Beteth his wynges, and farewell, he is gon."
As the reality of God has faded from so many lives in the West, there has been a corresponding inflation of expectations that personal relations alone will supply meaning and happiness in life. This is to load our partner with too great a burden. We are all incomplete: we all need the love which is secure, rather than oppressive, we need mutual forgiveness, to thrive.
As we move towards our partner in love, following the example of Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit is quickened within us and can increasingly fill our lives with light. This leads to a family life which offers the best conditions in which the next generation can practise and exchange those gifts which can overcome fear and division and incubate the coming world of the Spirit, whose fruits are love and joy and peace.
I pray that all of us present and the many millions watching this ceremony and sharing in your joy today, will do everything in our power to support and uphold you in your new life. And I pray that God will bless you in the way of life that you have chosen, that way which is expressed in the prayer that you have composed together in preparation for this day:
God our Father, we thank you for our families; for the love that we share and for the joy of our marriage.
In the busyness of each day keep our eyes fixed on what is real and important in life and help us to be generous with our time and love and energy.
Strengthened by our union help us to serve and comfort those who suffer. We ask this in the Spirit of Jesus Christ. Amen."

Mark and Laini Do the Royal Wedding Part One

2011-04-29T13:05:00.000-07:00

Like many around the world, Mark and I were up to watch the Royal Wedding.
It is during these times that I reminder of the following words; "there is a time to weep and a time to rejoice. There is a time to be born and a time to die. Sometimes it is all in the same day.

Yes, there is much sorrow and pain in life. But there is also much joy.
Friends of ours had their first born child this week, a boy.
Mummie told me of a friend of hers who passed away.
Winds and waves swept through the South, destroying homes and taking lives.
And amoung those rejoicing in the gift of Marriage this week is the Prince William and his beloved kate.
And G-d the Creator of Mankind was there with each, rejoicing and weeping with each.

So, at 4am, thanks to my beloved setting the clock, Mark and I were up.
Mark later said he was indeed glad he got up and watched the wedding with me.
So I would like to share some of the highlights of our morning...

My sweet Mark, as always, made coffee for us. At 4 am, we were going to need it. But he forgot to drink his....

So here I am, trying to take a picture of Kate's gown. Of course I should have known I wasn't going to get a full shot until she got to the church.
"Mark, check out the hat. Mark...."

"Yeah, sure baby..."
And then came that magic moment when we finally got to see the dress....

"Yeah, it's a lovely gown."
"Mark!"
"Sorry, baby. She is beautiful, but not as beautiful as you were on our wedding day."
Nice save.
It was a lovely wedding.....

....soon I heard a sound from the sofa....

"MARK!"
"I'm awake, baby, just resting my eyes..."
And then he stood up and came and sat next to me.
We were both moved by the service, the touching moments between the two boys, the bride and groom and of course who could not a bit sad that William's mother, Diana, wasn't there.
Mark thought the kiss was far too short and that it was cool William took his new bride for a spin in Prince Charles's car.
I even saw a few tears.
Yes, Vriginia, REEL MEN cry at weddings.
Huge husband points, sweetheart.

A Nation Weeps

2011-04-28T18:27:00.000-07:00

Laili Tov:
It seems strange to write this post.
After writing about rejoicing with a bride and groom, to turn around, to remember that there are people in this country who have lost everything because of the storms that have ripped through the South.
I know, I am waiting to hear about family memebers and friends.
Some I know are ok. Others, no word yet.
The last count is over 270 people dead. Neighourhod wiped off the face of the earth. It is so hard to get ones mind around.
I remember standing in front of the TV, shaking my head; How do I even begin to pray?
For some, this is proof there is no G-d, because no loving G-d would allow this.
For others, it is thanks be to G-d because it could have been alot worse.
Right now, all I can utter is "Dear G-d!" And cry with the thousends of others who are at a lost.
"Blessed Art Thou O L-rd, King of the Universe, The Only Right and True Judge."

He Who Makes the Bride and Bride Groom Rejoice

2011-04-28T18:10:00.000-07:00

"You are blessed, Lord our G-d, the sovereign of the world, who created joy and celebration, bridegroom and bride, rejoicing, jubilation, pleasure and delight, love and brotherhood, peace and friendship. May there soon be heard, Lord our G-d, in the cities of Judea and in the streets of Jerusalem, the sound of joy and the sound of celebration, the voice of a bridegroom and the voice of a bride, the happy shouting of bridegrooms from their weddings and of young men from their feasts of song. You are blessed, Lord, who makes the bridegroom and the bride rejoice together."

For many of us, tomorrow is a grand day.
Yes, I am a royal watcher. And like so many, I shall be up to watch and rejoice in the marriage of William and Kate.

I got up for Diana's wedding to the Prince of Wales, Sarah's to Prince Andrew and when Prince Edward married his bride.
It is far more than the fairy tale of happy forever after or the making of history. True, Diana and Charles divorced and Diana later died. Sarah and Andrew's marriage ended as well.

It is the risk we humans take when we join our lives with another.
But it is worth the risk.
My chief reason for rejoicing over the marriage of Prince William and his beloved Kate is more than being a sucker for romance. It has to do with the above: the making of the bride and groom rejoice.
In Torah, marriage is a commandment and there is a blessing in it. G-d is in the middle of every marriage whether the couple realizes (or likes it) or not.
G-d rejoices over every bride and bridegroom, yes, He dances at weddings.
Yes, there is alot of hype. Yes, many pounds are being spend by the royals on this wedding.
But then, I remember when Mark and I were planning our wedding; we heard the very same thing about our wedding What big deal we were making, "how much are you two spending?" etc.
If Prince William and his bride asked me (and I know they won't) "don't sweat those comlaining about your big day. It is YOUR DAY. Go with the blessings of G-d and those who know you and live your lives. Love each other and make the world place through your marriage."
Many people told Mark and I on the day we were married, they would keep us and our marriage in their prayers. And knowing that people have been praying for us has made a huge difference in our lives.
I have an idea: how about PRAYING for William and Kate instead of complaing about the cost of her gown. Pray that they have a long and happy life instead of laying bets if the marriage with last or end in divorce.
Maybe if we start praying for folks insteand of running them down, we just might see the peace in the world we long for.
But then, I am a bit of a dreamer, aren't I?

A Night to Remember Always

2011-04-28T06:46:00.000-07:00

Boker Tov;

Well, I'm back.
First, thanks to all for their birthday wishes to my son Aries, my sister and my beloved Mark. I shall be posting pictures of his birthday cake later.

Passover and the Feast of Unleaven Bread ended Tuesday evening.
So sad :( We already miss it.
It was such a joyious time. As anyone who reads our blog knows, The Feast of the L-rd are just a taste of heaven. Yes, they teach heavenly truths and a wonderful way to share our faith and past it onto our children.
But is not the main purpose. The main purpose is worship.
Ever wish you had more time to study Torah (the bible) to sing and dance before and with the Holy One? That you could spend time in prayer, time with family and friends without looking at the clock?
That is the purpose of Shabbat and the High Holy Days. This is what it means to "taste and see the L-rd is good." This is what it means to "rest in the L-rd."
I work like the dickens for thirty days for that when the Feast come, I don't work. We put money aside so that we don't have to worry about bills and such. We are "away with G-d."
How often I have heard folks complain about not "getting to eat pizza, bread, pie, cake," or my favorite: "when do you get to eat 'real food'?"
Well, we do eat "real food." As the weather permits, Mark grills lamb or chicken, we have spring greens and veggie salads, fruits, etc.
But I don't find the commandments of the Holy One a bunden.
The Torah says "return the leaven from you home." So I remove the leaven. He says to "eat matza, unleaven bread for seven days."
This is not a suggestion, but a commandment. It reminds me that on the night of 14 Nisian, The Angel of Death "Passovered" our doors and G-d freed us with His strong right arm.
Matza was and is a poor man's bread. As I eat the matza, I am to remember that there are people who are hungry and work to help feed them. Can I truly feed every soul in the world?
No, but the ones I can, I do.
We are to remember we were once slaves and work to see no man, woman or child is ever enslaved again, working to free those bond now.
We are now a free people. Free from the chain of spiritual slavery and offer that freedom for others.
As I relive those days of old during the Feast, I am once again humbled by what G-d has done in my life.
That's why it isn't hard to give up the pizza for eight night.
So now back to my putting away the dishes and such for another year. And sweeping up matza crumb. I keep finding matza in some of the strangest places.

Two Birthdays and a Little Laini

2011-04-14T06:05:00.000-07:00

Boker Tov;
This month is a special month:
Next week we celebrate Passover and the Feast of Unleaven bread.
Last week was my sister younger sister's birthday.
And this week there are two more.
My son Aries who birthday was yesterday and my beloved husband Mark, which is tomorrow.
As everyone who reads our blog knows, in the Reel house, birthdays are a big deal and we celebrate the whole month long.
You don't need a lot of money, just a good imagintion and planning skills.
When I recieve my allowance from Mark, I sit down and write out my budget for the month. Something I learned from my mother. Since this is Mark's birthday month, I began planning a few months ago for this. That way my beloved would have a grand bithday celebration.

Monday, I gave my beloved a peanu tbutter truffle. Next to chocolate, Mark loves peanut butter. So I went and brought Mark his own truffle.

I remember a time he use to look at me like that.
Tuesday, after a visit to my mother's (she had a birthday gift for Mark) I took my beloved out for a surprise birthday supper.

Saffron Indian Bistro is about a year old, I think. We have been about three time already and Mark loved the food.
We had the Mango and spice curry with salmon. Yum.

And yes, there was enough to take home for lunch the next day.

And yesterday, needing a grill to roast the lamb and Mark has been wanting a grill, I decided to kill two birds with one stone. Since we have such a small space right now, this is the grill we settled on. As Mark walked away, I called "Mark!"
He turned around.
"Happy birthday, dear." I believe the big smile on his face says it all.

But before we went shopping, a beautiful bit of sunshine filled our home.
My friend Lily had her fourth child, a precious little girl. Lily and her husband asked Mark and I to be g-dparents and if anything happen to them, would we look after their girls.
Of course we would.
And then Lily asked if the baby was a girl, if she could name her little Elayne.
So yesterday, on the same day that years before I held my son for the very first time, I held our g-ddaughter and name sake, Elayne.
I haven't included pictures of us because I don't have permission of the parnets.
But Lily took pictures of Mark and I together with Elayne, which I am having framed this afternoon after hebrew class.
It has been a hard few months. There are things I really wish to write about and one day I shall find a creative way of doing so, and not have to worry about walking about on eggshells.
But holding that wee bit of heaven in my arms, turned sorrow into joy, giving us hope and in a small way, giving us some reasons why we have gone trhough what we have.
So now it is time to finish my coffee, review my hebrew lession and prepare for Mark's next gift.
Blessings

How do you know you are married...

2011-04-11T11:36:00.000-07:00

Most joggers during their runs have to worry about...getting mugged, being chased by a dog, getting soaked by a sprinkler...you get the picture. The one theme is all of these occur outside... My mugging occurs before I even get out the door!
This morning I woke up, got dressed, and spent time saying my prayers. I had just finished that wonderful time and was getting ready to go for my jog when my wife came out of the bedroom. She was talking to me about something else when she stopped, looked at my shirt, my new shirt that I had not even gotten to wear once, and said it was a nice shirt that would look better on her than me... Guys, you know how it goes... your wife sees the shirt, and smiling sweetly says, “That's a nice shirt--It would look better on me... (smile)” What can I say; she flashes that beautiful smile and hypnotizes me with those beautiful brown eyes... Before I knew it, she stood there with the shirt on. She said, “See, it does look good on me—see how it fits,” as she modeled it for me.

I mumbled, “Yes babe, it does…” Now of course I could not go outside without a shirt, so I headed into the bedroom and put another one on. Now off for my jog, before I lose any other pieces of clothing...

My Little Buddy

2011-04-11T10:23:00.000-07:00

This afternoon, I had to go and check on my little buddy Koda and his family.
For those who don't know, Koda is a Corgi; his mummie has a whole blog about him.
I met Betty and Koda when AOL still had their Journals. I had just started this one to keep family and friends inform about Mark's incoming deployment.
There have been another since.
This is when I found Betty's blog about Koda and we became friends. Betty and her family prayed for Mark and I, even send special homecoming gifts when Mark came back.
We love to read Betty's blog and find out what out little buddy is up.

So imagine our shock to learn several weeks ago that our Koda has Lymphoma and was now recieving chemotherapy. I remember trying to get the words out and Mark coming over and reading the rest of the entry for me. Our Koda had cancer.
Since we ourselves have faced this battle, we are standing with Betty and her family, praying for our little guy's healing.
I know to many that it sounds strange that G-d would heal a dog, that He would even care.
Well, G-d cares for all of His creatures. If we love them so much, I can only imagine His love for each dog, cat and pony.
Though I still have a problem with pet snakes.
So, if you think about it, please for Koda and his family
And Koda, we love you :)