Coffe and Torah

Shalom:
I am sitting here in my new sitting room, waiting for the heat to come on.
It is one of the reasons we are looking for a house; because our landlord, despite how much we pay in rent, doesn't care about the people who rents his apartments. So it doesn't matter if we are cold; that's what space heaters and sweaters are for. So what the hot water takes twenty minutes to heat up? There's a lot you can do while your waiting for the hot water.
So we have stopped complaining and started looking at homes.
The first was nice, but not really us.
But half the fun is looking. And we are having fun looking.

In our home, breakfast, lunch, supper and tea time, we discuss Torah. It's just how we roll here.
The word Torah means more than "law." It means, teachings, commandments, the Word of G-d. It is the way of life for the g-dly. So if you ever sit at our meal table, you will find yourself listening to and hopefully join in, the bible discussion.
Questions are always welcome. And you don't even have to believe.
Mark and I are good for a laugh.
But I love these times with Mark. We come together and discuss what we have studied. Whether it is the Torah portion of the week or a subject we are interested in, we like to talk about, share and yes, sometimes even debate what we have learned. Often, "I haven't thought about that...." in uttered and out comes the bibles.
Of course we are careful not to spill coffee on the Scriptures.
But it isn't just Mark and I. How often we get together with friends and discussion of Torah comes forth. It is a teaching time for young and old alike. Ah the insights little ones bring.
I often feel that the Holy One is not only in the mist of such gatherings, but smiling and enjoying Himself as well.
I have heard it said the highest form of worship isn't singing or dancing, even raising of hands, but the study of Torah.
And don't forget the coffee.

Veteran's Day

Shalom:
Today is Veteran's Day, a day that we as a nation take time ti thank those who serve or have served our nation in the armied forces.
Recently, I read a blog entry about the military, The writer felt that our servicemen and women are not heroes, but murders, that there is no good reason for our nation to kill anyone who is different than us. that ours wars aren't the result of attacks upon our land, our people or way of life, but that our g-dlike need to force our will on others, the grabbing of land and theie resources and even wiping out those who beliefs are different than ours.
Well, that person has a right to their belief, though I disagree with thier findings and conclusions.

Every nation, every people has the right to live in peace and freedom, to deterine their own fate. Every nation has the right to defend theemselves. And if it wasn't for those willing to serve and protect our nation, one can only guess what we would look like.
Or if American would exist.
We as amercians have the honour to live in the greatest nation. There are people from all over the world who wish to become critzens and enjoy the freedoms we have. As many have seen written here before: we are not a perfect people, but we are a good people."
And the fact that we have men and women, fresh from highschool and after a twenty year career in another field, chosing to put on the umiform and enlist. To protect all that we hold dear.
Even the right to call american heroes, murders.
I come from a long line of such heroes. I would love to have gone into the AirForce. But my sight was too poor to pass the eye test.
So I support our armed forces the best way I and and now as a soldier's wife, I stand beside him and we serve together.
I say thank you to you all who have served this country. Those who have risked their lives and those who gave theirs.
G-d bless you all.

Shalom David

Shalom:
Yesterday, our friend david had a doctor's visit. While there is still concer about his heart and there is more test planned, the doctor said David was well enough to return to work.
We had decided three weeks ago that David didn't need us and was able to return to his home. It was decided that after his doctor released him, David would go back to his apartment.
So today, after Mark dropped me off for PT, he took David back to his apartment.
Given the fact that the doctors didn't even expect him to be alive at this moment, it is a true miracle that he is back home.
He still has a way to go to get his life back, but it is our hope that his church will at least now step in and take care of one of their own.
For they haven't been there up until now. Which is quite sad and a poor witness to what they claim to believe. Yes, there were several that were there for David, to help Mark and I. But a church of over 2,000 folk and pastors who didn't even darken our door to pray for the man. There are no excuses. None that we shall accept.
By their fruits you shall know them?
This has been the struggle Mark and I have faced these four months.
Our conclusion: that not every who claims to be a Believer is one. Not everyone practices what they preach. And while it is easy to say, "thy shall not judge," the fruit we have seen have been sorry and wanting.
And the things said about Mark and I were often unkind.
But judgement belongs to G-d.
I know in our hearts we have done what our G-d would have wished. David had he felt the love of G-d in our care for him.
That means so much, His family too, have expressed how grateful that we were able to step in where they could not.
To G-d be the Glory. The mistakes were ours alone.
So we send David forth with our love and prayers. He is so looking forward to what G-d has for him.
But he also said he is going to miss us.
We miss him already.

Here We Go Again

Shalom:
So Sunday, I had this sense of "having done this before."
I had actually. Twice.
It was that time again: preparation for an Colonoscopy.
Roubd three.
But my doctor had trailored my prep to make things just a little easier.
I had
 read a few months ago a suggestion that four days before your colonoscopy, you should begin to eat light; fresh fruit and veggies, more water, mint tea, etc. This begins to cleanse the colon. My prep Sunday included mixing a bottle of Miralax into 64 ounces of gatorade and taking my time drinking it. And while I did have nausea and chills, I did not become as ill as before.
This time, thanks be to G-d, I was clear out and the colonoscopy was proformed. However, I was awake and the medication did not put me under, so it was not a fun time. My doctor said next time she will use general.
Next time?
But the the scopy stopped because of some coiling that acted as a block, which means an x-ray, However, the doctor wa pleased because we finally able to do this test and find out once and for all why my iron count is so low.
Afterwards, Mark took me out for lunch and then I came home a nice, long nap.
Finally, sleep! And without having to run to the water closet every twenty minutes.
But the tummy is still sore. This will take a few days to work out.
So with this behind us, it is time to think about Thanksgiving and Hannakkah.
I need to get in touch with a friend to fget names of Jewish soldiers to send CarePackages to.
We are also planning of going to Williamburg for Thanksgiving.
With everything we have gone through this summer into the autumn, it would be nice to get away and enjoy some time together.
So what about David?
That's the next entry.

The Sheheheyanu

Boker Tov;
This morning after breakfast, I am back in my little chamber. The only thing left is for Mark to have the evergreen around the windows.

As I look around me, I am reminded of the blessings about me: a lovely home that has light, heat (sometimes) and running water. A loving husband who is still employed. Plenty of food.
Some measure of peace.
There is a blessing for moments like these;
It is known as the Sheheheyanu.
The BA-RUCH A-TAH A-DO-NOI ELO-HAI-NU ME-LECH HA-O-LAM


SHE-HECH-E-YA-NU V'KI-MA-NU V'HI-GI-YA-NU LI-Z'MAN HA-ZEH.


Blessed are You, L-rd our G-d, King of the Universe, who has granted us life, sustained us and enabled us to reach this occasion.
This blessing is said at special moments and gifts, some we thought would never come.

How we take such things for granted. Like new clothes. Think of all of the people who cannot afford a new shirt or blouse. Think about the work that went into making the garment: financing, designining, drawing, weaving, cutting, stitching, folding, ironing, packing, moving, displaying and selling that one garment. Such a wonder! The tree that had to be fell and all the skill that turned lumber into the beautiful desk before me. This is why before we remove a price tag and put on a garment, we recite the Sheheheyanu.
This is why when a child is born, or starts to walk and talk, when they go to school, on Holy days, even the monring of my wedding, we utter this blessing.
For it reminds us of these happy, blessed moments, the gifts from G-d.
As I look across the room and see my friend David, helping Mark with the dishes. A man who months ago was at death's door, now walking without a cane, putting away dishes.
I say : Blessed are You O L-rd our G-d, King of the Universe, Who has granted us life, sustained us and
enabled us to reach this occasion.

Time To Break Out the Sweaters

Shalom:
Well, it is another cold night here in Virginia.
Tomorrow we shop for space heaters along with house hunting.
It seems that there is a running battle between the maanger of our apartment building and the Plumber. The Plumber thinks that until it hits around 30, the heat doesn't need to be adjusted.
He doesn't live in this apartment.
We  have lived here five years.
There will not be a sixth. And frankly the owner of the building doesn't care. As long as he can find folk to rent his aapartments, fine.
Not ones to continue filing complains when they fall on deaf ears, it it indeed time to move.

Today Mark and i went and found my wrting desk. It is large enough to house my laptop as well as pens, pencils and other fun stuff.
I promise I would surface every now and then.
However, this has created a bigger desk since I wasn't delievery so soon.
The deliever guys made it to our apartment before we did.
So, having made room for the desk and chair, it is time tobring some order back into my chamber.

November One: Cold

Shalom:
Winter is still a month away but already Mark and i have pulled out the sweathers and blankets. It is the first day of November here in Virginia.
And it is cold.
I am in my new room. Mark calls its, "my lady chambers." This afternoon Mark is taking me shopping for a desk and asmall lamp. And then I shall take pictures. But frankly, even with tapes and books littered about that need to set in their places, the room is beautiful. We found some nutmeg coloured curtians to separte the chamber from the rest of the house. But the curtians cast a soft rose hue over the livingroom. We had no idea how the white on one side and the rusty rose on the other side would give the livingroom such an enchanting beauty: something from another time. Think Arabian Nights with a TV set.
While Mark loves the look, he is having a hard time adjusting to me drawing the curtians for those times I need to be alone. I remind him he has the same thing in the Dinnningroom.
He said he was just so use to seeing about that it was odd that I would actully draw away from him (except for something like a nap).
We have worked things out: he sees that I need a place to call my own. That I wouldn't "hide the day away." and for the most part the curtian will be open. If the curtian is open and I am in the room, it's ok to speak to me. The only time I draw the curtian is for prayer, study and/or just a quiet moment.
I can his point: I know I felt the same way when Mark set up his office when we first moved into this apartment. He too needed his place to think, but also to study for a class or write a report for is CO. Or spend time with G-d.
We all need a special place; whether it is a place at a park or beach or one we create in our home.

Like I said, it is chilly today. So after my afternoon walk, I am making a beef stew for supper. Along with Lemon Zinger tea. Both Mark and David like tea in the evening. We even have a cupp before bedtime.
I think while we are shopping for my desk, I better get a couple pairs of socks.

Halloween Is Not Our Holiday

Halloween Is Not Our Holiday
With respect to those who don't have problem with Halloween, this is the reason why Mark and I do not share in the day. We "give out" but we don't "go out."

In the Pink

Shalom:
Well it is that time of the year. October is Breast Cancer awarness month.
I could be wrong, but I think this disease has touched all of our lives in some form of fashion. Whether we had a friend or family memeber who had Breast Cancer or knew someone.
I know many who have surivived; several of my friends did not. I write this in tribute of their memory.
Two of our local grocery stores, The Market and Farm Fresh are selling pink grocery bags as a fund raiser for the Cancer Assocation.
As you can see, Mark is modeling one of our bags.
Mark too is a Cancer survivor, given his clean bill of health last month. The very first person Mark and I met when Mark started his treatment was a Major who was coming in for his yearly exmaine. He had breast cancer.
Mark looked at me in shock.
 "Men can get breast cancer, too," I answered.
The Major went on to exmaine that his mother had breast cancer and one day he notice a lump. Thought it was a bruise from working out.
Good thing he had it checked.
So now, (this may be way too mcu imformation, but people are dying from a lack of knowelge.) both Mark and I do breast exmaines.
Men, you CAN get it too.
So we are doing our part buying using our pink shopping bags to make people aware the fight goes on and maybe, just maybe in our life time, G-d willing, we shall see a cure of not just Breast cancer, but all forms of cancer.

Reflections

A few weeks ago, about three, Mark and I headed off for a day in Williamsburge.
We found that David really didn't need anyone about to help with a meal or his medication. He was quite capable of popping a TV dinner in the micowave and getting his own medication.
It was during this time and on this trip I said to Mark, I believe David is coming to the place he doesn't need us. Not the way he did when he first came out of hosptial.
So it was time to turn our thoughts back to our home.
The Shabbat lights around the house was for the most part burned out. So we headed for Willimaburge, to the Christmas Mouse where we found strings of white lights, some grape crusters and roses.
Last week Mark began to put the lights up and while it is a project, we did have them up for this Shabbat. Such a warmth that comes from those beautitful lights framed on the ceiling boards, a reflection of heaven itself.
I felt a warmth, a happiness that had been missing in our Shabbat for weeks. Mark said he felt it as well.
This morning, while Mark took David to church, I went for a walk.
I reflected upon the past several weeks; the highs and lows. The disappointments and struggles. The wrestling matches with G-d, my husband, myself.
I am still reflecting......

While's one faith cannot be based on the actions of others, we cannot discount how we can encourage or rob someone of their faith because of our words and deeds. I have seen much the past several weeks, experence much to make me question what I believe.
Not Who I believe in.
And it is an interesting time. For we as Hebrews do not believe it is a sin to question G-d, to doubt. He invites our questions. For like any good parnet knows, when a child questions mother/father it isn't so much rebellion as it is growth, trying to make sense of what appears to be nonsense, a puzzle or worst, a lie.
 A good parnet welcomes those questions because they know that their child is growing, maturing, thinking. Reasoning. The questions actually draw the parnet and child closer. If the parnet is wise, that is.
And I have lots of questions.
I just have to be a good listener.
Mark was standing at the apartment building as I came down the street. He knew I needed some space and lovingly gave it to me.
I found myself in his embrace and the sun came out.
Funny how whenever I need him the most, Mark appears.

A Quiet Love, A Sweet Love

Shalom:
They say that women are like wine: they get better with age.
I believe that is true with both men as well as marriage as well.
Mark and I are working on our laptops, soon to close them and spend some few precious hours we have alone.
And though he is just across the dinningroom table from me, I feel the love he has for me.
It is funny how you can know that someone loves you just from their presence.
Maybe its the every ten minutes or so that he looks up from the keyboard and gives me a smile. And my knowing he is about to look at me and I glaze up, waiting.
Being with G-d is like that too. Sometimes I feel His Presence in times of a Temple Service or Torah Study. But sometimes I feel G-d's love, Presence in simple things; like the a soft breeze, the lick on the hand from a puppy or my husband's smile.
Relationships, whether human or heavenly take time to grow. And they grow sweeter, like a fine wine.
Mark and I have gone through these past four months.
I once said I would follow Mark into hell itself, for I knew heaven would be on the other side.
Frankly, the past four months we have indeed gone through hell together. The fire was a revealer of what is right about our marriages and also revealed a few cracks that needed our attention.
The World to Come is still in our future; but a bit of heaven's glory shines in our home even now.
After the four month storm, I am finally beginning to see the rainbow.

A Lost Ring, A Found Love.

Shalom:
A few days ago,  Mark notice his wedding band wasn't where he usually left it.
It was one of our rare evenings alone and we were planning to visit a friend in hosptial and then go out for supper.
It was at this time Mark could not find his ring.
For two hours we searched the house.
Nothing.
Mark had gone to the market eariler in the day and while there, used the Men's water closet. So maybe he left it on the edge of the wash basin and some good soul found the ring and turned it in.
It wasn't there.
David returned home from choir practice and helped in the search.
Still, nothing.
Finally, after another hour had passed,  Mark found it.
I hadn't been feeling well earlier in the morning and Mark had came back into the bedroom, laying down to comfort me. He had placed the ring on the nightstand and the ring fell off the stand and laid on the floor, next to our bed.
While I wasn't really upset, for I knew it was just a matter of time before we found it, Mark was beside himself. So careful he is with his wedding band, he kept saying over and over again, "I don't do this!"
The man was in tears as he searched, going through jeans and dress pant pockets, panicing that he might have dropped it at the Gym.
What I saw was a man in love with his wife. That the very disappearance, though brief that it was, of that which is a sign of our convernat and commitment, would throw him into a tailspin.
We have been fussying the past few days and frankly, we didn't like each other at that time. But seeing the mad search, the panic on my face, all the petty stuff that had upset me went out the window.
G-d hid that ring (yes, I believe that) so that Mark and I would remember what is important.
Us.
One day David will leave us. One day,  G-d willing, we shall have and family. But those children will too go up and begin lives of their own. One day Mark will retire from the military.
But our relationship with G-d, with each other shall remain.
With the finding of Mark's ring, we remembered the love that it represents.
Sometimes lost can be a good thing.

A Little Chilly: Cookie Time

Shalom:
This morning I awoke with my left hip hurting.
Arthritis decided to visit me today.
So Mark started the monring off with prayer and then made breakfast for everyone.
I was slow moving, but after a warm shower and a pain pill, I was off.
The guys cleaned up the kitchen and are now peeling pototoes.
I am making pototoe soup for supper. It is nice for the insides on a chilly day.
I also plan to make lential soup and freeze it for later in the week. Also a nice heartly meal,plus loaded with iron. Which I need plenty of.
And because of Mark and David's hard work, I will also bake cookies
Everyone needs a chocolate chip now and then,
Cooking helps to improve my mood as well as blesses my household. With the shorter days, I feel myself becoming depressed. And one good way to break depression is to do something for someone else.
It gets your mind off you.
Think I shall take some of the cookies to my upstairs neighors as well.

The Heart of the House

Boker Tov:
It is a beauitful autumn morning. A bit cool, but sunny.
Mornings are still hard, but a lovely time in our home.
Because David sleeps in our little Shul (prayer room/ study) we moved everything but the ark that contains the torah scroll into the Dinningroom.

The white curtain was put up to mark off the dinningroom as our prayer room. When closed it means we are in prayer and/ study. The wash basin and towel is set up for hand washing.

Which makes for some interesting times.
Before bedtime, we roll over the special prayer rugs that denotes that the room is now a place of prayer. We set a special placemat at the head of the table for the scriptures, the prayer books and the devotional we are reading and hang the prayer shawls.
In the morning, before sunrise, we rise for prayer.
After prayer, we put the prayer things away and setup for the rest of the day.
I realize yesterday that this brought our place of prayer and study in the heart of our home, front and center.
We rather like the look, the fact that our prayer, study and meals are taken in the same room, that this house is indeed a house a prayer.
So, as we look for a new home, we shall be looking for a large Dinning Room, not just for the enteraining of our guest, but to bring our home shul front and center.
Not a bad idea, really.

We are also doing some rearranging. So that I have a place in the house to call my own and since we are looking to move next year, the large coffee table is being moved into storeage and my things, like my laptop and quilting will be moved into the "Lady's Chamber," as Mark calls it.
I am so excited. Finally! a place that is truly my; to think, study, pray, create. Someplace to just rest for an hour or so, unwind. I haven't had that kind of space and time in months and it has wore on my nerves.
Though getting out to walk has helped.
Funny, Mark now kicks me out of the house, with a smile on his face: "Go for a walk!"
He says he is taking care of the Heart of the Home. For when the wife is happy, everyone is happy.

Has it Been A Month?????

Shalom: Has it really been almost a month since I last wrote?
WOW!
I knew life had been crazy and I was ready to commit myself. Now I know why; I haven't been to one of my emotional outlets.
But then, I have been rather emotional lately.
LATELY???????
Ok, other me--enough of the wise cracks.
Anyhow, with David still with us, working out all the ins and outs of our joined lives, there have been those moments I have indeed wondered of my own state of mind.
Mark finished the Wounded Warrior Program and is doing well. He was off his medication for a few days, waiting for a refill, but otherwise he is my rock.
 David is doing very well. This week we learn if the doctor will release him to return to work.

It has been a trying time for Mark and I. I confess we have actually exchanged words more in the past several weeks than we have in the five years we have been married.
The tension has been high, because we have not wanted to face a hard truth. We had expected David's church to help carry the load, realizing that we were a married couple, Mark was on leave, to help with meals, laundry, visits, etc. We needed help getting David to and from doctors. David, being a social person needed the company of the many friends he has.
Few have called or visited.
Once we faced the fact we were pretty much flying solo and spoke to David about this, the tension eased up.
One of the excuses we heard about not helping with meals is that we keep kosher.
Some excuse. Like one can't find kosher recipes online.
I am truly thankful for the few people who indeed in the Name and Love of G-d to David, assisting Mark and I in David's care. Even the few who realize a married couple need some time and space.
May G-d bless each one.
Mark and I have walked through this fire, becoming even closer. Our faith in G-d, His Torah and His ways assured.
My faith in people however....not so much.

As Evening Comes

As evening draws near it is the end of the Days of Awe.  I am sitting back, reflecting upon my life before the Kol Nidre service.
I have many blessings, many treasures.
And many of them are the friends I have here on blog.spot.
Whether you leave a comment or not, we consider you a friend. A few we have even met. Some of us we exchange e-mail, snail mail. All have been supportive and compassate and even from time a teacher. Some it was no suprise we found each other. Others, I am truly amazed you love me and call me friend.
But that is the gift of friendship. Acceptance. Respect. Freedom to be without worry of changing.
Each of you are a jewel G-d has placed into Mark and my's lives and we humbled by the honour and do not take it lightly.

So from the Reel House to each of yours, Shalom and May you be written in the Book of Life and Sealed for a sweet, happy and joyious New Year.

What is a Good Parent?

Shalom:
So what is a good parent?
Ah Laini...you don't ask easy questions, do you?
No, I don't. Iike to make people think.
And that oftens gets me into trouble.
When I think of a good parnet, I think of (of course) my own mother.
True, she made her mistakes and wasn't perfect, but there was a truth she modeled for me that lasts until this day.
I remember my grandmother, Grondmother Calli, a gaint of a woman. Again not perfect, but g-dly and precious to me.
 I also had a wonderful mentor, and for the life of me and to my shame, I do not remember her name. But she would be the first to say: "remembering my name isn't as important as remembering the lesson."
From each of these women I learned many times, but the one thing they all said and well as modeled:
"A good parent doesn't damand respect; they earn it."
So what does that mean?
I remember growing up, hearing over and over again, "Honour Thy Mother and Thy Father."
And what does that mean? At the time, it meant I did whatever I was told, didn't sass back, obeyed their rules.
True.
As a baby, I needed those barriers that kept me safe. The crib, playpen, safely gate and fence. The lock doors and the Pram.
When I got older the crib gave way to a big girl bed, a bed I had to learn how to make up in the morning. Once mummie taught me to brush my teeth, I had to brush them on my own. For a while I had to be reminded to brush my teeth, make my bed, take a bath, put on clean clothes, until I started doing it because I like the way a clean mouth and body felt. I had to be taught and told how to clean my room until I started doing it on my own.
Funny thing, when I became a teenager, mummie allowed me to decorate my bedroom the way I wished. No rules. Why? Because I already knew what my mother would and would not permit in her house. And knowing the rules, I was free to decorate however I wished. She trusted me.
Then, mummie started knocking on my bedroom door. Yes, the room was in her house, but my bedroom was MY SPACE and she honoured it.
When grandmother made my lunch for me, she gave me a choice between peanutter and jelly or just jelly. Knowing I hated peanut and jelly, I would always pick jelly. But I got to chose.
When I became a woman and was on my own, mother told me: "You are now a woman and I trust all that I put into you. Remember, if you wish me to treat you like an adult, act like one."
I never forgot those words.
Later, when I became a mummie, I often quoted "honour thy mother and father," until a pastor's wife pulled me aside.
She said we as parnets cannot demand obediance or respect. Yes, our children are to obey us. But we should treat our children with respect also. We must live in such a way that makes our children want to obey us. Praise them for jobs well done, respect their space, respect them. She said, never use the Scriptures as a club (the bible says you have to honour me!!!!) You want your son to honour you; honour him."
It has been 32 years since I heard those words. And they still ring true.
Not always easy, but in the end, worth.
Aries, if you are reading this, I love you.

Preparing For Yom Kipper; What is Repentance?

Shalom:
In a few days, it shall be Yom Kipper, The Day of Atonements.
I say Atonement because there were really more than one Atonement made.
First, the High Priest went into the Holy of Holiess. He was permitted to enter that chamber only once a year, Yom Kipper. He would offer two bulls. One for his sins and then one for his family. There were also two goats involved, one was send off and would die in the wilderness. The other would be the offering for Israel.
It was and still is a solemn time, for it is a time for reffection, repentance and for reconcilliation between G-d and man and man and man.
While we repent of our sins, there must also be an action, a turning around and resolving not to walk in that path again. But in our sin, we wrong and/or wrong someone, so we must make that right as well.
In our faith, it is wrong to gossip about another. During the month of Elud (last month of the Jewish year) as I repent of this sin, knowing I was wrong and ask G-d to forgive me. I know He does.
But He then calls to my mind, who I have gossiped about. I now need to go and ask that person to forgive me.
Not easy? Well, it gets better.
"G-d, I realize I have been a talebear and I know I was wrong. I ask you to forgive me."
G-d: "Are you, daugher?"
Me: "Yes Father."
G-d; "You have gossiped about Jane...and some very ugly things you know."
Me: "I know...."
G-d: "You need to ask Jane's forgiveness and get things right with her."
Me: "Yes Father."
So I go to Jane and confess what I have done. Jane knows all I have said and more. Seems my little tales have reached her ears.
Jane, is gracious to forgive me. But Jane has been hurt. So I offer to take Jane to Starbucks and we begin to rebuild our relationship.
But it doesn't stop there.
The next step is I need to go to Terry, who I have gossiped to about Jane.
Me: "Terry, I must confess I sinned against Jane by telling ugly stories about her to you. Whether they were true or not, I was wrong amd I also sinned against you by making you think badly about Jane."
Terry: "Laini, your right. We were both wrong. And I should have stopped you. I need to go to Jane and ask her forgiveness as well."
Terry goes to Jane and ask her forgivness. But then Terry must go to her sister Jerry and her bestfriend Susans make the same confession...
While the results aren't always the same, that is what it truly means to repent.
You don't just say it: you do it.

Back Surgery and The Hat Lady

Shalom:
Ah...it is good to be back! I think if I could have gotten to the blog sooner, it would have relieved some of the stress we both have been going through.
To Liz; Mark's dad hasn't had the surgery yet. And we don't know what kind. Mark's folks haven't told us much about it and if and when they are ready to tell us, we are here.
It has been an interesting summer to say the least.
As most know, Mark was up for Major when he came back home and his name did make the list the last week of June.
What we didn't know until one day Mark was looking at his paystud a few weeks later is that his pay had begun to reflect his new rank. So he went back over the paperwork. I had been teasing Mark before he came home, don't be surprise if your Maj R when you come home from Afghanistan. Well, that is actually what happen. Mark was actully MAJ R the third of June, one day before he returned to the States.
So, last month, at Fort Eustis, Cpt Mark picked up  and was pinned the rank of Major. His CO said Mark waited patiently for his rank, a good mark of a fine leader.
Very true.
And I was honoured to pin his gold leaf upon his berat.
It was truly a proud moment. As well 105 outside.
When he recieved his award, Mark handed it to me, saying: "I share this day and this award with my beloved wife, Elayne. It is her love and strenght, her belief in me that made this day posiabble. I am the man, the soldier I am today because of her and I could not do my job without her love and support."
Try as I might not to cry in front of his unit, I did.

I als

I also decided to buy a hat for the occaion. Not being a hat person (other than Mark's caps) it was indeed a adventure. But I did find this beautiful white hat and a black lace dress to go with it. I wanted to look nice for Mark's big day.

And like the good husband Mark is, he decided to model it for me. Would you believe I lost a Facebook friend over this picture???? Someone who thought that Marks wearing his wife's hat was ung-dly, that because he was wearing a woman hat, it meant he was less than a man. I would look to see someone stand up to my 6'4 husband, who has pulled four deployments and tell him he is NOT manly.
I guess it is rather easy to sit back and judge others according to your values and standards, insteads of accepting people for who they are. Even if it is a bit of humour. Besides, I should be the one that's upset: he looks better in my hat than I do!
The following week, Mark came home and told me that one of the women he works with said, "Tell your wife she wore that hat!"
(That means she looked good)
And she wanted to see my hat collection.
Mark informed her that this was my first hat and I really didn't have one.
His co-worker told Mark I needed to start; I look good in hats.
I now have two.
I am thinking of buying one for a upcoming wedding.....

A New Year

Shalom everyone:
Yes, I know that it has bee awhile since I have written. Our lives have been so busy.
But finally, I have created the time and space`to sit down and write.
How I have missed my blog and my blogger friends.
First, Mark and I are fine. It wasn't the summer we planned for, but we shan't complain for it is what the Holy One chose.
We do hope to make it to Montana at some point. But it looks like at least another month. We also had planned to renew our vows, but again, there is this thing called life....
Mark has completed the Wounded Warrior Program. Mark came home with heel spurs, so sever that he had to go into treatment for them. Also he had to report in for his cancer examines, making sure he was still cancer free.
He had to report into Fort Eustis here in Virginia and because he is a senior officer, he was able to come home in the evening. However, since he was "still deployed." Mark wasn't really home (on leave) and therefore we could not plan any trips, such as to Montana.
This week is Mark begins leaves and we are so looking forward to it. It has been a long time coming.
Our friend David is still with us. As of this writing, David is turning a corner. The doctor removed the dressing off his foot and he now covers his big toe with a band-aid. His blood sugar excellent, we are still getting the blood pressure under control. This week, thanks to a lovely gift someone send, we will be able to buy David new shoes and a cane. It has been a long, slow recovery, but thanks be to G-d, he is making it.
We learned the night before Rosh HaShanna began that Mark's father was going in for a Heart Catheritization. While a heart cath is common place these days, there was some confusion as to why he was having this procedure and how serious the situation was. So at the last minute, we canceled the bight celebration we planned and kept things small and quiet.
The heart cath turn out to only the precursor to a back operation that Mark's dad need and the doctor wanted to make sure Mr. Reel's heart was healthy enough to handle the surgery. A wise precaution to be sure.
But we had a wonderful Rosh Service in our home. There is two Jewish Cable stations I found several months ago and on Shalom TV, one rabbi taped and aired the Rosh HaShanna services for those who cannot attend. While most Synagogues still hold to not recording their services ( it has to do with work and using electricity) this rabbi felt that  it is important to include those shut-in for various reasons to feel a part of the community.
Would that other rabbis would feel the same way.
It was David's first Rosh HaShanna and he enjoyed it.
Lots of questions.
So now we begin a new year. One of hope and joy, filled wonder and awe.
What does the future for our world, our nation, the Reel Tribe?
G-d only knows.
I can't wait to see what He is going to do.

I Could Use a Drink...or Five....

Shalom:
Well it has been almost two weeks that David has lived with us.
And we're still alive.
It is lots of work, but it does keep me busy.
The main thing is getting David into the system so that he can get the care he needs.
Red tape, paperwork and more red tape.
If you follow Mark and I on facebook, then you know I ahve no love for our present health care system. If we who have insurance complain about the services we recieve (Mark and I for the most part recieve excellant care) then what the uninsured recieve is really nothing more than "just be happy we're giving you an pain pill and a bedpan.."
You would also know my feelings: under Mr.Obama's plan, there will be ten times the paper work, ten times the red tape and far worse service.
And we are already seeing it.
We are jumping through hoop after hoop to get some sort of health care for a man who has paid into the system. Something many amercians can related to.
I remember the hoops we had to jump through with my mother. But nothing like this.
So as we gather the laundry list of documnets needed for Dave to be seen at the clinic, we continue to care for him in our home, his only job: get well.
Mark's treatment for his feet is coming along, though he hates the treatment socks he has to wear at night. His poor feet took a major beating in Afghanistan, so he is now under medical orders for his feet and his ears.
And as much I hate the fact that we are still "deployed" (under medical orders) at least, because Mark is a Sr. Officer so, he gets to come home in the evening.
I am thankful for that small blessing.
So the summer didn't quite pan out the way I had hoped or planned. But G-d knew what He was doing. One day, I shall look back and know the reasons.
The one that I know and that is right now the most important....
A friend in need.
I should still use that drink.....

My Friend Dave

Shalom:
Twenty years ago, The Holy One brought a very special man into my life. His name was David. We sang in the same choir. One evening, he walked, said he heard I was looking for a job and made a few suggestions of places I could go and place my resume. After he leave, I asked: "Who was that?"
A few months later I needed a ride home and he offered me one. David quickly became the big brother I never had and soon we were even known as the twins, for we were always seem together. For my mother, David was a son.
A loyal and faithful friend and man of G-d, David was someone who could always be counted on
But for the first time, several months ago we lost contact.
Right after Mark's last deployment, I had been sick with the flu and then went to visit family out West. Getting busy with my own life, I knew David was off helping someone in need.
I learned about three weeks ago from another friend via private message, that David was in hosptial and things weren't looking good. Because a medical test I was suppose to have had to be set for another day, Mark and I went to the hosptial. His family had been found (no one had family contact number and the family who the hosptial tried to reach was out of the country) and on there way to Virginia.
Mark held me as I cried.
Dave was not just my brother. Dave was my oldest friend. We were, we are so close.
I just had to be there. Mark knew that and told me whenever I was ready to go, he would take me.
On the way there, I kept praying, "L-rd, not yet."
David was still in a coma when we arrived. But at least he was breathing on his own. I had to fight back my tears. It just couldn't end this way.
Yes, I knew G-d could well be calling Dave home.
But I admitt it, I was selfish. I wasn't ready to say "see you in paradise" yet.
 I placed my hand on his shoulder and he jumped. Dave knew I was there.  
The next day, David was awake, breathing on his own, sitting up and talking. G-d gave him more time.
He was still confused, but he knew who I and Mark were.
What brought Dave to the hosptial was a infection to his big toes. He lost part of his right big toe and the doctor is fighting to save the left one. The infestion spread and six days later, Dave Coded. And this is when I fought out about his being sick.
After talking it over, Mark and I offered David our shul (little synagogue) for him to recover. For he is still very ill and must not be alone.
So a week ago this evening, Mark and I brought David home.
We are honoured to have David: he blesses us with his presence.
I am thankful for friends who help with the gifts of a bed, a wheel chair and rides to and from the doctors. 
This evening someone even brought a meal for David.
"When you have done it to the least of these My brothers, You have done it unto Me."
David is a joy, not a burden. He has blessed and been there for others, it is time for others to be there for him.
For Mark and I, we know that it is Messiah that is sitting at our dinning room table, that it is Messiah's feet we are washing, it is Messiah Who is watching the Food Channel with us in the evening.
It is we are truly blessed.

A Crazy Life. A Beautiful Life.

Shalom:
I hope everyone's summer has been a good one so far.
As of today, Mark is still going through testing and exmaines @ the base, while catching up on needed studies. Mark is fine; the Army just wants to make sure he is.
One of the problems is his ears. After the sever ear infection he had when on leave, Mark is getting one of ear tubes replaced.
So he gets to come home each night and head back to Base in the morning.
But the weekends are ours.
Since Mark is still on orders, no traveling.
So we adjusting to our new life.
I was suppose to have an Colonscopy a few weeks ago. But the solution I was suppose to drink to clean out my system made me not only very sick, but serve cramping, vomiting and other stuff I rather not mention. The doctor canceled the Colonscopy because she was afraid she would do more harm. So we have a new date and the doctor is ordering a new solution for me to drink.
Go Lightly. But from what I hear there is nothing lightly about.
The same day I learned that a friend was in hosptial.
Dying.
We hurried and found my friend David on a breathing machine, cling to life.
When I touched his shoulder, David jumped. We all knew David knew I was there.
The next day, when we came to visit, David was sitting up, his colour was slowly returning and he was talking.
David was coming back to us.
Knowing he would need more care once released, Mark and I offered the extra bedroom in our home.
He has been here a week.
David isn't a burden: just another adjustment.
It's a Crazy Life we live. But a Beautiful.
Now, if I can only get some sleep.