Showing posts with label Bestfriends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bestfriends. Show all posts

Friday, 1 March 2013

David; Still Missing you

Shalom:
It has been six and a half months since the passing of my best friend and big brother David Walton. It has been hard for me to really share about those last several weeks until now.
And frankly, it is still hard.
This all began the summer of 2010. David had gotten quite sick and ended up in hospital. Mark was just home from his last deployment when I received the message David was in a coma and if I wanted to see him before he died, I needed to get to hospital.
That was a Friday afternoon and all Shabbath plans went flying out the window.
But David didn't die. He recovered and gave to live with us the rest of that summer until the beginning of autumn.
Because he was doing so much better, David went back to live at his old apartment. Mark and I had prayed that David would give the apartment up and move in with one of his family members. He really needed to be with friends or family and we just couldn't afford to take care of him. Plus our apartment was so small.
But it was not to be. David chose to stay here in Virginia. His doctor suggested he apply for Social Security, since he wasn't healthily enough to continue working, but he didn't want to leave his job at the Comic Book store, a job he loved.
So his health went from bad to worse. I had my hands filled dealing with Mark, for he was in a bad way with the PTSD at the time.
We would see David from time to time, we both becoming alarm by David increasing poor health. But there was just so much we could do. Mark didn't have a job, we had little money. We couldn't take care of ourselves, let alone David, as much as we wanted to.
In January of last year, after returning home from an military event, we learn David was back in hospital. We knew this was it.
He faced so many battles; his heart and kidneys, one inflection after another. Once stable, the hospital would move his to assistance living. Once stable and against doctor's orders, the social workers at the assistance living told David, because he had no insurance, he to leave.
That was the end of May. Three weeks later, he was back in hospital, battling high pressure and again, yet another infection.
In August,  our phone was turned off and we lost contact once again. We knew he was being moved to a nursing home and was planning to see him when I got word he was taken to DePaul Hospital. Here, I knew he would not only receive good care, but not get kicked out.
Mark was in school at this time, but we still made it to see him.
That Thursday morning, I received a call from his doctor, saying that they had done all they could do and were just keeping himecomfortable.
David knew he was dying. That same evening, he squeezed my hand and told me he loved. He then looked up and told Mark to take care of me.
I cried myself to sleep that night.
The next morning, I found our phone was out of minutes and when Mark got home, he hurried to the store.
It was Shabbath. Montague and I were standing outside. I looked into the sunset, feeling a peace I hadn't felt in a year.
I watched as a sudden breeze came up, playing with Monti's ear, reminding me of how David loved to play with Monti's eyes.
It was then I felt something soft brush against my cheek and somehow I knew it was David. Mark arrived home with more minutes for the phone and we went to bed.
The next morning, I called the ICU and was told that the doctors tried to reach me; that David had passed away the night before. When I asked what time and was told 10pm, I smiled through my tears. That is the time Monti and I were standing outside.
He had stopped to say goodbye and I love you.

Friday, 28 December 2012

The Spirit of Offend

Great peace have they which love thy Torah (Law): and nothing shall offend them."
Psalm 119:165


The above is my mother's favourite verse. And it is one of my as well.
I try to live it and it is hard to do.
But not impossible; it can be done.
However, there was a time I didn't think I could ever live this truth. Days I still can't. But I am working on it.
We live in a world, among fellow human beings, a world that is easily to offend.
Here in the Untied States, for example, you make the sign of OK and no problem; most know what it means.
But go outside the US and that same sign is an object of offend; for it has a far different meaning and considered an insult.
Among my Muslim friends, I am careful not to show the soles of my shoes, I don't touch or serve anyone with my left hand (unclean, in many parts of the world, it is the hand you clean yourself with)
Many Americans become offended when our leaders bow to another country's leader and many of our Leaders have raised eyebrows overseas with their behavior; whether it is a friendly wink to the Queen or showing too much skin in the presence of a Hindi Prime Minister.
Recently, I had a major disagreement with two friends, long time friends, more like family. With one, things really got heated because he felt I was attacking him and his beliefs, when in fact, he wasn't listening to me, just defending his stance.
One friend and I agreed to disagree; we have before and we will again.
The other, became offended and ended the friendship
It hurts and I am praying that the relationship can be healed and mended.
For years, my mother told me that taking offend is my choice. Even if that person meant to hurt me , demean me, yes even attack me. Depite it all, it is still my choice to pick up the offence.
Being corrected and facing the fact that we are wrong about something also causes offend. None of us like to admit that we are wrong, even if the correction is for our own good.
The truth dose set us free, but first it will make you mad and offend.
It isn't easy, but there are times I have to push through the offend to receive the lesson, correction, yes even adjust a way of thinking, to give others the benefit of the doubt. The same grace G-d has given me.
Today, I asked my sister-friend to please forgive for thinking the worse of her; I thought she too had decided to end our 20 something year old sisterhood. I was wrong.
She said there was nothing to forgive; she gave me grace.
Grace.That is what defends Offend.

Tuesday, 16 December 2008

Debbie's Birthday

Shalom:
Today is a quiet day. While Mark is at the unemployment office, I am working on Yosef's quilt and quite determine to finish it this week. It is going to look a little different than I first started, but I also think the outcome is better.
Today is also my friend Debbie's birthday. We have a tradition of getting together for each other's birthday since we became friends years also. And when I married Mark, he was blessed to be added to the mix. This year, because of the car accident, Debbie and Sturat brought my birthday party to me. This year is is so cool that Mark is here to join in the fun.
Debbie has been wanting to learn the Hebrew prayers, but being blind, there are no Siddur, (prayer books) for her to use. But I did find The First Steps of Hebrew Prayer on CD, so that will be our birthday present to Debbie. Sinc they both like Starbucks, we are getting them the Holiday blend for Hanukkah along with the Hanuakkah mugs.
If they haven't sold out yet.
Speaking of coffee....

This is a picture of Debbie and Sturat at Mark's surprise birthday party a few years. They are one of the sweetest, loving couples I know.