A Long Stem Rose

Boker Tov;
It has been a bittersweet few days.
Friday morning when I logged on facebook, I found a message awaiting me.
A dear friend and sister in faith had passed from earth to Paradise some time Monday.
Her name was Lana.
Mark and I met Lana and her husband Wayne years ago when we attended the same congregation. We later attended a home Torah study.
Lana and I both had a love of cooking. And Lana was an amazing cook. Amoung my treasures are recipes she gave me, including one for pickling watermelon rinds which I haven't tried yet.
But this summer, I will.
The message said that there would be a viewing that evening.
It doesn't matter how many times I enter a Funeral Home, into a viewing room, there is always that lump in the gut, that pain in the heart, the tears that begin to well up.
Because I know I am here to say a final earthly goodbye to someone who had been part of my life. As I walk down the carpeted hallway, thinking of words of comfort and finding none.
Wayne stood near the coffin of his beloved, breaking out into a huge smile when he saw Mark and I. Wayne told Mark and I how he would pass our home going to work and look up at our apartment window. There he would see the menorah in the window. He said, "I know you guys have been hoping to move, but every time I see the menorah, I rejoice because your still here."
Lana held a single long stem rose in her closed hands.
Wayne's love gift to his beloved. I couldn't keep the tears back.
 I kept expecting Lana to sit up and say "got ya!"
Mark wrapped his arms around me. I could feel the sorrow in Mark's body.
We shared precious memories about Lana, thankful she was no longer in pain and knowing we would see her again.
Then, the most beautiful part of the day occurred.
The person who send me the message about Lana, she and I had a major misunderstanding and had broken fellowship. How often I wanted to contact her and say for my part I am so sorry.
It took Lana's homegoing to bring us back together. My friend and I messaged back and forth, forgiving and accepting forgiveness.
She walked into the room and we embraced, crying in each others arms, knowing our Heavenly Father and Lana were smiling down, quite pleased.
The moment was as beautiful as the long stem rose in Lana's hands.
It was at this moment we all gathered around the coffin that contained the earthly remains of someone we all loved and recited the Mourner Kaddish, remembering that even in this painful moment, we are to praise G_D.
I leave you with the following quote from a post I did about death about a year ago:

In Judaism, death is not a tragedy, even when it occurs early in life or through unfortunate circumstances. Death came to the world because of sin, but one day, through Messiah, that shall be removed. Our deaths, like our lives, have meaning and are all part of G-d's plan. This does not mean that G-d condones to actions of murders; they shall indeed face judgement, in this life and in the next, for their crimes. I truly believe that hell was not only created for satan, but for the likes of Bin Laden, Hitler and Stalin.
In addition, we have a firm belief in an afterlife, the world to come, where those who have lived a worthy life will be rewarded. Knowing that G-d has created a place for the righteous, while our hearts are ripen open with the death of a loved one, we know where they are and one day, we shall join them.
Times like these do not make me question my faith in G-d or doubt that He is. It enforces it. For only G-d can make sense out of all of this.
I am reminded of quotes from two of my favourite books: C.S. Lewis's The Last Battle J.R.R Tolken's The Return of the King.


From The Last Battle: There was a real railway accident,” said Aslan softly. “Your father and mother and all of you are–as you used to call it in the Shadowlands–dead. The term is over: the holidays have begun. The dream is ended: this is the morning.”
And as He spoke He no longer looked to them like a lion; but the things that began to happen after that were so great and beautiful that I cannot write them. And for us this is the end of all the stories, and we can most truly say that they all lived happily ever after. But for them it was only the beginning of the real story. All their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and the title page: now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read: which goes on forever: in which every chapter is better than the one before.”
(C. S. Lewis, The Last Battle (HarperCollins: New York, 1956) p. 228.)

And from The Return of the King:
Gandalf: Farewell, my brave Hobbits. My work is now finished. Here at last, on the shores of the sea, comes the end of our Fellowship. I will not say "do not weep", for not all tears are an evil. It is time, Frodo."
Sam: What does he mean?

Frodo: We set out to save the Shire, and it has been saved, but not for me.

Sam: You don't mean that. You can't leave.

Frodo: [hands Sam the RedBook book] The last pages are for you, Sam.

Frodo: [Voiceover] My dear Sam, you can not always be torn in two: you will have to be one and whole for many years. You have so much to enjoy, and to be, and to do. Your part in this story will go on....

We all are authors in this journal called life. Our stories intertwine and weave into the tapestry of the universe, of heaven itself. The black threads of pain and sorrow are those that bring out the bright, rich colours of joy. Those who have passed on to the afterlife, either heaven or hell, have set down their pens. Their portion, as Frodo stated, is complete. Just Frodo passed the RedBook onto Sam, for he had many pages more to write, so do we, who are still walk upon this good earth.
And one day, we too shall hear the crash of a train and find ourselves in Aslan's Land, where He shall begin to tell us The Great Story, the Story we, ourselves are part of and that goes on forever. Lana has finished her portion of the Great Book. We are left to continue writing our part.
 We miss you, Lana

A Love Stronger Than Death

Boker Tov;Mark had a bad night's sleep, so we didn't make class today. I just let him sleep in.
It's cool; there are things that need to be done around the apartment.
I awoke thinking of my friend Rose (not her real name)  this morning. A lovely woman, both inside and out.  Quiet of heart and spirit with a beautiful smile. I remember her husband Ray, (not his real name) who was just as sweet and gentle as she. True soul-mates
I was drinking my coffee and reading my facebook page when I notice a post from the very person I was thinking of.
Six years ago tomorrow, Rose's soul-mate slipped into the Presence of G-d.
Her pain, her tears are as fresh and raw as if it was yesterday.
I remember praying  for Ray, believing for G-d to heal him.
 And G-d. By taking him home.
The tears of a widow.
As an army wife, I have held in my arms a young widow, her tears soaking through my blouse, feeling her body shake with sobs and heartache.
I could only say and do for Rose the same time I said to that widow several years ago: I allowed her to cry, I listened as she spoke.
And I prayed for her.
I prayed that The G-d of all comfort, comfort her with the comfort that only He can give.
I prayed that The Holy One would engulf her with His love.
Six years.
Yes, Mark has been gone two and a half years on deployments. But he has always come back to me.
My friend and sister in faith, she will one day go to her beloved; he will not return to her.
A Love that is stronger than death. The very flames of death cannot quest it...
.
Song of Songs 8:6-7 "Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave.
It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame.
⁷ Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot sweep it away."


Mark is now up, making himself a cup of coffee, Montague on his heels.
Puzzled by the expression on my  face, "Why are you looking at me that way?"
"I can't look at you?"
He just smiled, took a sip of coffee.
In this moment, I look upon him whom my soul loves, thankful for my blessing. My beloved husband, our precious Montague.
I don't complain about the dirty socks on the floor or tripping over his boots. Because it means my husband is home.
My thoughts turn to Rose again. She would glad for dirty socks.
But I also know this. Through the pain and tears, she knows where her beloved's soul is, that one day she shall be with him again, never to be apart.
Once again, I am reminded of the book of the Narina series, The Last Battle, the last page, the last chapter:

 There was a real railway accident,” said Aslan softly. “Your father and mother and all of you are–as you used to call it in the Shadowlands–dead. The term is over: the holidays have begun. The dream is ended: this is the morning.”
And as He spoke He no longer looked to them like a lion; but the things that began to happen after that were so great and beautiful that I cannot write them. And for us this is the end of all the stories, and we can most truly say that they all lived happily ever after. But for them it was only the beginning of the real story. All their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and the title page: now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read: which goes on forever: in which every chapter is better than the one before.”
(C. S. Lewis, The Last Battle (HarperCollins: New York, 1956) p. 228.)

Good Night Sweet Angel

Yesterday morning bright and sunny.
And then I recieved the news that a friend's three month old granddaughter Jazzlny was found in her crib, blue. We prayed that The that gave us Jazzyn would allow her to remain longer.
But the Holy One, Blessed be He, had other ideas.
Today, as I prayed for Linda and her family, I remembered something I would a few months back and felt during this time of questions and tear, it would encourage:
From 11th April:
It is hard, even impossible to understand how a loving G-d would take someone so young. It is times like these that people of faith draw on G-d. I repost something I wrote awhile back that gets me through moments like this:

In Judaism, death is not a tragedy, even when it occurs early in life or through unfortunate circumstances. Death came to the world because of sin, but one day, through Messiah, that shall be removed. Our deaths, like our lives, have meaning and are all part of G-d's plan. This does not mean that G-d condones to actions of murders; they shall indeed face judgement, in this life and in the next, for their crimes.
In addition, we have a firm belief in an afterlife, the world to come, where those who have lived a worthy life will be rewarded. Knowing that G-d has created a place for the rightious, while our hearts are ripen open with the death of a loved one, we know where they are and one day, we shall join them.
Times like these do not make me question my faith in G-d or doubt that He is. It enforces it. For only G-d can make sense out o fall of this.
I am reminded of quotes from two of my favorite books: C.S. Lewis's The Last Battle J.R.R Tolken's The Return of the King.


From The Last Battle: There was a real railway accident,” said Aslan softly. “Your father and mother and all of you are–as you used to call it in the Shadowlands–dead. The term is over: the holidays have begun. The dream is ended: this is the morning.”
And as He spoke He no longer looked to them like a lion; but the things that began to happen after that were so great and beautiful that I cannot write them. And for us this is the end of all the stories, and we can most truly say that they all lived happily ever after. But for them it was only the beginning of the real story. All their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and the title page: now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read: which goes on forever: in which every chapter is better than the one before.”
(C. S. Lewis, The Last Battle (HarperCollins: New York, 1956) p. 228.)

And from The Return of the King:
Gandalf:Gandalf: Farewell, my brave Hobbits. My work is now finished. Here at last, on the shores of the sea, comes the end of our Fellowship. I will not say "do not weep", for not all tears are an evil. It is time, Frodo."
Sam: What does he mean?

Frodo: We set out to save the Shire, and it has been saved, but not for me.

Sam: You don't mean that. You can't leave.

Frodo: [hands Sam the RedBook book] The last pages are for you, Sam.

Frodo: [Voiceover] My dear Sam, you can not always be torn in two: you will have to be one and whole for many years. You have so much to enjoy, and to be, and to do. Your part in this story will go on....

We all are authors in this jounral called life. Our stories interwine and weave into the tapestry of the universe, of heaven itself. The black threads of pain and sorrow are those that bring out the bright, rich colours of joy. Those who have passed on to the afterlife, either heaven or hell, have set down their pens. Their portion, as Frodo stated, is complete. Just Frodo passed the RedBook onto Sam, for he had many pages more to write, so do we, who are still walk upon this good earth.
And one day, we too shall hear the crash of a train and find ourselves in Aslan's Land, where He shall begin to tell us The Great Story, the Story we, ourselves are part of and that goes on forever.

Jazzlny  finished her part of the Great Book: we are left to continue to write ours.
May those who have gone before us rest in peace and may the G-d of All Comfort comfort those left to mourn.
We miss you, Jazzlyn.

A Wasted Life

I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that" - Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr

Shalom:
 On 10th March, 1957, in Riyadh Saudi Arabia,  Osama bin Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden was born int a wealthy family, which had and still has close ties to the Saudi royal family.
There was much Bin Laden, as he would come to be called, could have done with his life.
Gone into and taken over his family busniesses. Gone to school and become a doctor, lawyer or even a religious leader or teacher of his faith. With his money, Bin Laden could have have used his family's wealth and name to help his nation and/or the world's poor. The building of schools and hosptials, building busniesses that gave people jobs and better their lives.
Instead, Bin Laden's life was one that took, and not gave. He took lives; not only over 3,000 on 9-11, but fellow muslims. His extreme religious and political views did not remain his own point of veiw, but became the fuel that that flew planes into the Twin Towers and place a sword into the hand that put to death Daniel Pearl as well as others.t harm. He did nothing to make world a better place, but caused many tears.
 In 1994, the bin Laden family disowned Osama and the Saudi government revoked his passport. The Saudi government also stripped Osama bin Laden of his citizenship, for publicly speaking out against them, after they permitted U.S. troops to be based in Saudi Arabia in preparation for the 1991 Gulf War.

All of my muslim friends say they were glad Bin Laden was gone; that he brought nothing but shame to Islam. He brought dishonour to all they hold dear and do not mourn his death.
As one friend said: "he wasted the life G-d gave him."
Mark and I were up when the news came about his death.
Interesting, Bin Laden has been a part of our lives for these ten years. Part of our friendship, courtship, marriage. The reason my beloved has bee deployed four times. There isn't a miliarty household Bin Laden hasn't touch and we are all thankful he is no longer in our lives.
As a miliarty family, we are glad justice has been served. No, his death will not bring back his victims. All justice on this side of heaven is imperfect. Full and total judgement will come from G-d. And we are fully aware that though the warl-rd is gone, the war still goes on. But we are not dancing in the streets, cheering or passing out candy.
Bin Laden was pure evil and needed to go.
But Bin Laden is not an victim. He didn't go up poor and derived. He wasn't oppressed or depressed. He made choices that led to his dead body being dumped into the sea instead of being buriel with the honour given to those of his faith.
Yes, his followers and his young wife shall mourn him. But they few.
A wasted life, my friend said.
When I am called before the Throne of the Holy One, I hope to have lived a life where people will indeed cry and mourn and be sadden that I am no longer here. That I shall leave this world better than when I arrived and people will give thanks to G-d for my life and not uttering, "Thank You G-d, she's gone." 

And A Child Shall Lead Them

Boker Tov:
Last week, on the 6th of April, many of us stop to remember a precious little boy by the name of Noble Anthony.
I  was there to celebrate the wedding of his parents on a beautiful Thanksgiving weekend and rejoice with the birth of each of his siblings.
I remember the day of his birth and receiving the phone call to pray for this little guy, that something was wrong. The prayers that went up for him those first weeks.
I remember the day he was to be baptised.
 His grandmother handed me the camera and asked me to get pictures, but the pastor kept getting in the way and I couldn't take any pictures. If I knew then what I know now, I would have been a little bolder and got that picture.
I remember that morning how Tiffianee shared how she came to name Noble; that his name comes from Philippians 4:8 "Whatever things are true, what ever things are NOBLE..."
What a powerful statement.
True, it is hard, even impossible to understand how a loving G-d would take someone so young. It is times like these that people of faith draw on G-d. I repost something I wrote awhile back that gets me through moments like this:

In Judaism, death is not a tragedy, even when it occurs early in life or through unfortunate circumstances. Death came to the world because of sin, but one day, through Messiah, that shall be removed. Our deaths, like our lives, have meaning and are all part of G-d's plan. This does not mean that G-d condones to actions of murders; they shall indeed face judgement, in this life and in the next, for their crimes.
In addition, we have a firm belief in an afterlife, the world to come, where those who have lived a worthy life will be rewarded. Knowing that G-d has created a place for the rightious, while our hearts are ripen open with the death of a loved one, we know where they are and one day, we shall join them.
Times like these do not make me question my faith in G-d or doubt that He is. It enforces it. For only G-d can make sense out o fall of this.
I am reminded of quotes from two of my favorite books: C.S. Lewis's The Last Battle J.R.R Tolken's The Return of the King.


From The Last Battle: There was a real railway accident,” said Aslan softly. “Your father and mother and all of you are–as you used to call it in the Shadowlands–dead. The term is over: the holidays have begun. The dream is ended: this is the morning.”
And as He spoke He no longer looked to them like a lion; but the things that began to happen after that were so great and beautiful that I cannot write them. And for us this is the end of all the stories, and we can most truly say that they all lived happily ever after. But for them it was only the beginning of the real story. All their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and the title page: now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read: which goes on forever: in which every chapter is better than the one before.”
(C. S. Lewis, The Last Battle (HarperCollins: New York, 1956) p. 228.)

And from The Return of the King:
Gandalf: " Farewell, my brave Hobbits. My work is now finished. Here at last, on the shores of the sea, comes the end of our Fellowship. I will not say "do not weep", for not all tears are an evil. It is time, Frodo."
Sam: What does he mean?

Frodo: We set out to save the Shire, and it has been saved, but not for me.

Sam: You don't mean that. You can't leave.

Frodo: [hands Sam the RedBook book] The last pages are for you, Sam.

Frodo: [Voiceover] My dear Sam, you can not always be torn in two: you will have to be one and whole for many years. You have so much to enjoy, and to be, and to do. Your part in this story will go on....

We all are authors in this jounral called life. Our stories interwine and weave into the tapestry of the universe, of heaven itself. The black threads of pain and sorrow are those that bring out the bright, rich colours of joy. Those who have passed on to the afterlife, either heaven or hell, have set down their pens. Their portion, as Frodo stated, is complete. Just Frodo passed the RedBook onto Sam, for he had many pages more to write, so do we, who are still walk upon this good earth.
And one day, we too shall hear the crash of a train and find ourselves in Aslan's Land, where He shall begin to tell us The Great Story, the Story we, ourselves are part of and that goes on forever

Noble has finished his portion of the book. We are left to finish ours.