Saturday, 1 February 2014

Yes, I am Still Alive

Yes, I know it has been months, almost six months since my last post.
Frankly, life has been hell and I just haven't had the strength or the will to keep this blog going.
And yet, in the past it has been a life saver.
We are still in Montana. We still living with family.
And I still hate snow.
I have been told it takes at least 18 months to two years for a place to finally feel like home. I am trying to keep that view in mind as I live to cope with living in Big Sky Country.
And Montana is indeed a huge place.
Even after ten months, I am still overwhelmed by this place.
Mark still works at Town Pump. Does he like it? It's a job and it does help us get back onto our feet. After being out of work for two years and all of the false leads and starts, he has worked steady these past several months. But no, it isn't his dream job. Just a few days ago we were talking about how frustrating it is; he is a Veteran who has gone through four deployments, a West Point  graduate, a major in the Army Reserves and all he can find a job doing is pumping gas. He is looking for other work. The good news, he is applying for a work program for retraining, with hopes of even going to work at the VA Center.
Me? Well, one of the few bright points is, during counseling, my therapy awaken a sleeping desire. I had always wanted to be an artist and now, I am once again painting. Right now, it is hard, because I don't have much space in our room to paint. But I do make it work.
I'd write more about that later.
Our little Monti is fine, though like his mama, he hates snow...
Yes, I know I sound depressed. That's because....I am.
Montana is known as Big Sky Country, but it is also cold and dark and when you suffer from depression, the lack of sunshine is very hard on one.
It is a beautiful part of the country and the people are just amazing.
I just haven't come to the place that I can truly call it home.
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