Friday, 30 April 2010

the Start of A New Day

Boker Tov;
Well, last night the second night I had a good night sleep. Yes, the Big Grey Beast is still here. Marty, I can say our relationship is improving.
This morning Mark called. He had a few minutes before he had to to a meeting. His boss is being promoted, so the guys (no more gals, they are now home) were working on a gift for the Major.
As we spoke I could hear the choppers coming in, followed by, "Mail Call!"
This was followed by, "here sir!"
The Carepackage I had send him last week arrived! What a great way to begin the morning and Shabbat for both of us!
So now that my day has begun on such a high note, it is time to prepare for Shabbat.
I am making a seafood salad today. I found fake Krab meat in the Kosher section yesterday (this one really doesn't have crab meat, like most do) I have been enjoying fake krab meat for years. Even the scent of sheelfish makes me ill.
After chopping both the krab meat and the salmon, then mixing them together, I season this mixture with a teaspoon of garlic, onion and enough greek salad dressing (my is homemade) to make the fish damp. Cover and allow to sit in the fridge all day. It is served on a bed of spinach and any salad veggies of your choicing. I like to serve this with lemon-lime aide and melons for dessert.
And yes dear blogger friends, if your ever in Virginia, there is a place at our table for you.

Thursday, 29 April 2010

A Good Night Sleep and Back to the Hebrew

Boker Tov:
I can honestly say last night I had a good night sleep and the Grey Beast is safe.
I believe partly I was just dead tired and two after playing with the nasel tube I was able to fix it comfortably so I could wear it and not choke.
I also notice I am not waking up coughing.
Which is a very good thing.
So while I am up early, I am not as tired as the past few days.
Mark had an major inpection this past weekend for I finally got to speak to him yesterday. While I hate those times it is a week or so between calls, the one good thing is we get to speak for at least an hour.
My hebrew studies are coming slow, but just as I was about to give up, a friend send me a clip about Reggie White.
I didn't know Reggie White had even passed away. But the last nine months of his life was spend learning hebrew. He wanted to read and study G-d's Word in the orginal language, hebrew. Like so manyof us, Reggie didn't want man's translations or tradition, but what does the orginal words say and mean. And for those who know hebrew and those of us who are studying it, know there is a huge difference.
So, Mark reminded me of a book we have and I pulled it out.
And for the love of G-d and His Torah, to make my beloved proud and in Reggie White memory, I recommitt to my hebrew studies.
But first, coffee.

Wednesday, 28 April 2010

Anesthesia, Oxygen and Other Stuff

Boker Tov;
It has bee a week since the upper GI series.
Funny, but it took the anesthesia to stop the heartburn. To work the gas out of your body, a lady must allow herself to "burp" and "pass gas". The very things that bring relief to heartburn. And there was enough anesthesia in my body to take care of the bloating and the heartburn.
No heartburn since last Monday.
As many of you know, the next day (the next evening) there was a reading done on my oxygen levels at night while I sleep.
Well the results are in. As of Monday night, I am on three liters of oxygen for eight hours each night. The normal oxygen is in the ninties. My drops for a short period of time to sixty-three. It seems that my lungs are still recovering from the sever asthma attack I had in March. My doctor believes that this treatment will help my lungs to heal fully.
But it is a loud machine!
I call it the Grey Beast because of the noise.
And what is worse, it whispers. I got up several times the first night, thinking there people in the house, thinking, maybe I have a family of "Borrowers" living in the cupboards or the stuffed animals really do come to life and are having a grand time.
So I am hoping that my mother is right. That tonight, the third night is the charm and I can truly sleep.
Otherwise the grey Beast is getting thrown out the window.

Tuesday, 27 April 2010

Tonight (With Lyrics)

This morning before I went to do part one of the laundry (yes, it is so bad it is going to take two trips) I watched Night in the Museum. And if you have never seem that movie, I highly recommend it. It is about a Night Watchman learning the secret of a Museum he has been hired to look after. I love the movie, for not only is it clean, but I get to live through this movie I always wondered as a child.
What happens when the lights are turned off in a Museum at night?  Do the figures come to life and have their way with the place. You know, when the cat's away....
Based on the 1993 book by Milan Tren of the same name, the story  follows divorced father, Larry Daly (played by Ben Stiller) . A dreamer, who's dreams aren't coming true and keeps getting evicted, needs to finally face reality, get a job, impress his son, and find his destiny.
So Larry is send  to apply for a job as a night watchman at New York City's American Museum of Natural History and subsequently discovers that the exhibits, animated by a magical Egyptian artifact, come to life at night.
It is where Larry finds his destiny.
And as the later Martin Luther King said; "There is honour in all work.
It stars Ben Stiller, but it is Dick Van Dyke (Cecil) Micky Roony (Gus) and Bill Cobbs (Reginald) the three old former Watchmen that steals the movie.
At the end, with the running of the credits, the above song is played. During the running of the credits, you see Cecil, Micky and Reginald dancing with their mops and at one point, Cecil stops to do the 'bootie dance"
Personaly, I think that  scence should have made it way into the movie.
And the above song has now the music I workout to.

Tuesday, 20 April 2010

Speak No Evil? How to Get Kids to Talk About Bullying

Speak No Evil? How to Get Kids to Talk About Bullying

By Tom Henderson
(Subscribe to Tom Henderson's posts) Apr 15th 2010 9:00AM
Children are literally being bullied to death.
There's even a word for it now: Bullycide.
But it's more than a word to Dr. Michele Borba, an educational psychologist who has written 23 books on parenting. It's a picture of an 11-year-old Canadian boy she keeps in her pocket.
He never made it to 12. Hounded by bullies, he killed himself, and his father gave Borba the photo after she gave a lecture on bullying. Borba, whose latest book is "The Big Book of Parenting Solutions," tells ParentDish she keeps the photo with her to remind herself she is talking about the lives -- and possibly the deaths -- of real children.
One in three children between grades six and 10 are involved in bullying as either victim or bully, according to Cox News. That's one reason Congress is considering the Safe Schools Improvement Act -- a federal bill that would give school staffers training on bullying issues.
Parents can help, but what if they don't know their children are being bullied?
A mother on the East Coast, who asked not to be identified for fear of her son's safety, tells ParentDish she noticed her 9-year-old's grades slipping. He frequently became ill and asked to stay home from school.
Yet he said nothing was wrong.
Something was wrong, of course. He never said anything because he was big for his age. In fact, that was both the reason he was being picked on and the reason he didn't want to say anything.
"He was told time and again: 'You're a big kid. How could these smaller kids begin picking on you?'" his mother says.
No story is typical, Borba says, but this mother's situation is very, very familiar.
One of the main reasons kids don't report bullying is humiliation. Younger kids often report bullying, Borba says, but older kids are embarrassed and fear retaliation.
The mother of the 9-year-old says parents who try to help often make things worse by applying adult solutions to the child's world.
"The kid world is not the same as the adult world," she says. "The child world is a jungle, and adults don't understand the jungle."
Plus, Borba says, parents often try to fix the problem with a few quick sentences.
"The stuff we're telling them isn't working," she says.
What parents need to do is recognize that bullying is a crime, Borba says.
As such, she says, it needs to be thoroughly investigated, and you need to be a detective.
"You have to play Columbo," Borba says.
First, you have to identify the problem. Kids who are being bullied often have similar symptoms, Borba says, which include:
Unexplained physical marks, cuts, bruises and scrapes or torn clothing
A fear of being left alone or going to school, riding the school bus
Only using the bathroom at home
Headaches, stomach aches, frequent visits to the school nurse's office
Increased hunger (a possible sign his or her lunch money has been stolen)
Once you've determined your child is being bullied, Borba says, you need to get him or her to talk about it. But don't just ask them straight out what's happening, she advises.
Ease into it slowly with statements such as, "Wow. A lot of kids are being bullied these days. Are you seeing any of that at your school?"
Borba suggests watching movies such as "Mean Girls" or "Dumbo" where characters are bullied as a possible springboard to discussion. The important thing, she says, is not to confront the child.
"You're giving him an out," she says.
Once the crime has been exposed, Borba says, it's time for more detective work. She calls it learning the three Ws and an H. Where did it happen? When did it happen? Who did it it? How did you deal with it?
Armed with this information, Borba says, you can create a case profile and better advise your child and work with school officials to end the bullying.
One of the best things you can tell your child, she adds, is to look bullies in the eye.
Researchers at the University of Toronto did a study on bullying to find out who are the most likely targets. Bullies will pick on just about any mental or physical difference they can pinpoint, Borba says, but researchers uncovered an interesting fact.
No matter the child's difference, bullies were less likely to pick on kids who looked them in the eye.
For parents, Borba advises them to befriend their children's friends to learn more about what's going on beyond an adult's field of vision. And above all, she says, let kids know they are not to blame for being victims.
There are 10 magic words when it comes to talking to the victims of bullies, she says: "I want you to know you didn't do anything wrong."

My Life

Laili Tov:
The past few days have been rather interesting.
First, if you notice, I am catching up on my blogging.
I'd had a bad case of heartburn for about three weeks. What was thought to be stomach flu, seems to be more serious.
Thankfully, my doctor said it wasn't my heart, the heartburn was what raised concern.
I had already been referred to a Upper GI doctor because of the anermia (iron decficieny) and it was felt that she could also find out what was happen in the tummy.
So yesterday, after fasting water and food after midnight, I had to go in around 1 pm for an Endoscopy series.
Now I have to admitt, going without my morning cup of coffee was tough, but I thought ot this as Yom Kippor practice, the Day we do go without food and drink.
But one of dr B's patient's came into the E.R with a stomach bleed, so everyone was pushed back.
That meant instead of going into the treatment room for the tests, I was getting an IV. At the time I should have been on my way home, I was being wheeled the room for the series to begin.
In short, I didn't get home until after 7 pm.
And while it turns out I have a bad case of acid reflux, it is not enough to cause the problems I am having with a low blood count.
So this morning I recieved a call. The doctore has ordered a overnight Oximetry. It will test my blood's oxygen saturation levels while sleeping. The sensor goes on my finger and when it is time to go to bed, i am to press and release the little buttom on the Oximeter, which is no bigger than a cell phone. it will read oxygen saturation and pulse rate. When I get up, I hold the buttom dwom until the little light goes off and the unit will picked later in the morning
I am just thankful the doctor is so on top of things.
So, once this thing is picked up, I will mail off Mark's carepackage and finish my floors. My wood floors need my attention.

Happy Birthday Israel

Happy Birthday, Imma Israel. May there be peace inside your wall. May your children rise up and bless. May the L-rd Your G-d keep you in His everloving care. And may those who bless you be blessed and may those who curse you, be cursed.

The Birthday Gift

Shalom: As my readers know, Mark's birthday was last week.
And he informed me that I, his loving wife, brought him a beautiful silk rug for his birthday. Aren't I the thoughtful wife :)

This called The Four Seasons, because it changes colours when you turn it in different directions. And I know it is going to look great in our bedroom.
Today I packed a carepackage for my beloved. Filled with dried fruits, a few cans of kippers (Mark loves kippers in his salad) a four can pack of Del Monte Mandarin Oranges (he loves mandarin oranges with cottage cheese) and Empire's Truffles from Isreal. I send those to Mark in his Passover Carepackage and they were such a hit I brought him another box. Since there is Volanico ash causes flights to be rerouted, instead of baking cookies and taking the change of they arriving to Mark fresh, I found Mrs. Fileds oatmeal raisin with walnuts cookies. They are nice and big as well as soft and chewy..
And of course a few letters. Mark says he likes getting letters from home. Something he can read over and over again when he gets lonely.
He recieved some cards from home yesterday.
Betty, one of the cards he recieved was yours. He sends his thanks and love.
 But still not my cards.
But Mark reminds me not be upset: they will come. It's just how the mail runs.
I have to be content with that.

Sunday, 18 April 2010

LoveFromIraq: Pictures from Passover In Afghanistan#links

LoveFromIraq: Pictures from Passover In Afghanistan#links

These are the pictures from Mark's Seder in Afghanistan. I think it is amazing that with a flight cancelation, that these five soldiers were able to gather all they needed to put off a Passover Seder. Compete with the little finger puppets that ask the four questions. Mark said a great time was had by all and both our stories will be added to our own Passover Seders for years to come.

Israel Memorial Day

remember the soldiers

remember those who gave their lives

remember the families who have lost their loved ones

remember all the things each life, each soul achieved in this world

they did not die in vain

they died for israel

and we must remember their bravery

whether they had a choice in joining the army or not

remember yom hazikaron

Saturday, 17 April 2010


There are days I am full up and at'em.
And then there are those days I just drag myself along.
Today was one of those days.
Good thing it was Shabbat. Because I would not been able to get myself going for anything.
I believe it is tied in with Mark's deployment. It's the 'why bother cleaning the house, go shopping, take a shower,' that, well there is no one to do all of this for, so why bothr.
Because I am someone. I am important. I like nice surroundings, nice meals and to feel clean.
Sometimes I hav to give myself that swift kick in the tush and remind myself to take care of myself.
For me and for my man.

Friday, 16 April 2010

Happy Birthday, Beloved

Well, it is the end of the week and I am more than ready for Shabbat this week.
Yesterday was Mark's birthday and he said he had a wonderful time.
Yesterday was one of the soldier's last day before she went home and they included Mark in the celebration. He was given a card that everyone signed.
I also learned that I, his beloved wife, found a beauitful silk rugh that I gave him for his birthday. It is called the Four Seasons and when you turn it in differnet directions, it changes colours. Mark said he would send me a picture of "my gift" to him.
Thank you all for your words of encouragement and comfort concerning my son. They met a lot and I am doing fine now.
I love my son and I pray for him daily.
But I also have a life to live and I shall not spend my days in the the house pining away for him.
I am walking better and longer these days. I had one leg cramp early this morning. One I hadn't had in weeks. The weather is wonderful and it is helps as I go out for my daily walks, which helps my own all moods.
It is hard having Mark done, there are times I battle with depression.
But life, for the most part is good.
And it will be better when my beloved is home.

Tuesday, 13 April 2010

Happy Birthday, Son

Today is my son's birthday.
It is a day filled with joy and sorrow.
Joy as i remember his birth. What a sweet boy he was. Not perfect, but a good boy.
I remember toilet training him (I hate the phrase 'potty training') it took a week.
He was a happy, active and friendly boy. He would coast through school until March and then boom! out of the shoot like a race horse and finish the year with B'. There was one year, he didn't do well and was kept back. But we were dealing with bullies at the time, which played into his bad grades.
When he was 12, one afternoon, after school, he came to me and said: "Mum, you and Gran (his name for his Grandmother) are right. I can't get good grades to make you proud. I have to do good in school for me." To this day, I don't know what clicked, but he was a great student from then on.
From the first time he saw a Sailor, my son wanted to go into the Navy. Three weeks before he graduted, he told me he signed up. I was both proud and scared at the same time.
"O mum, don't worry, we're not at war."
Years later, he would indeed see combat.
He was so funny; could make everything fun. Just like his step-father, Mark.
After he joined the navy, things changed. Slowly I began to lose my son. For reasons unbeknow to any of up, first it was me and then the whole family.
I am not here to put my son down for his actions. His reasons are his own. And I respect his space.
But how I wish I could say Happy Birthday, son. Give him a gift. Bake him a cake.
Give him a hug.
So, I am left with just writing the words here and on facebook, with the hopes that he will read them and know that there is still a place at our home, in our lives for him.
That his mum loves him.

Monday, 12 April 2010

Yom HaShoah.

Yom HaShoah "In all their distress He too was distressed and the angel of His presence saved them" Isaiah 63:9

Today is Yom HaShoah. Today we remember the six million Hebrews that were put to death in Death camps, who died for the crime of being Hebrew. Thanks to writings of Martin Luther, who's love for the Chosen people would go from love to hate (all because they rejected his preaching,) Hitler took his teaching and ran with them. They, along with the hatred in his soul flamed the fire that would burn the bodies of men, women and children.
On this day, we rememeber those few gentilies, like Corrie Ten Boone who, along with her family, would hide and care for hebrews until they themselves were taken to one of the camps. Miss Ten Boone would lose many of her own family memebers, including her beloved sister Besty.
Years before, Mr. Ten Boone taught his children that the Jews were G-d Chosen people, the people who gave the world the Word of G-d, the Scriptures. And that one day, they maybe called to care for G-d's beloved. Yes, G-d loves all all mankind, but the Scripture clearly state that the Hebrew people are His special treasure.
That day came.
There are many such stories. Many families that would take in Jewish children and raise them until they can be returned to thier parnets or other family memebers. Or if lost, they would adopt the child.
I light a candle in memory of all who entered the Gas Chambers, for it wasn't just six million Hebrews. There were others who stood against Hilter, against the war, those who were mentality ill, gypsies, Jehovah' Witnesses, etc.
But lest we forget: there are still people, leaders who would still love to see the state of Isreal ran into the sea, to wipe off the face of the earth of every man, woman and child who are the children of Abraham.
To that we say:

Sunday, 11 April 2010

A Hard Week

This week is a hard one; this week we celebrate both my beloved's and my son's birthdays.
My beloved is in deployed; I have no relationship with my son.
And for those who have kept up with this blog, it is by his choice, not mine. There has been no falling out. At least on my part.
He has just chosen to lead his own life.
And while that saddens me, it is not only his choice, but his right.
We have the right to chose who we wish to have a relationship with and just because there is a blood connection, that doesn't mean we have to be part of each others lives, unless we chose.
Many would disagree with me: that I should demand answers.
That's not how I roll. I will not force myself on anyone.
And that includes my son.
This week is Mark's 40th birthday. Thank you to those who have asked for his address and are sending him birthday cards. For him, at work, it will be just another day.
He wishes to wait until he gets home and do a celebration.
I already have some ideas.
It has been a few days since I heard from my beloved. But I chose not to worry, trusting him in G-d's hands. I don't listen to the news. This keeps the stress down.
But I did find a Best of the Cosby Show at our video store and that is what I plan to watch. I love Mr. Cosby.
The Cosby Show. When TV was truly worth watching.

Wednesday, 7 April 2010

Happy Maimouna Rabbi

Happy Maimouna Rabbi!
And what is that, you ask?
Maimouna is a Post-Passover, exuberant Sephardic custom whose origins are the subject of much deabte.
The Moroccan Jews are known for Maimouna, the exuberant festival held on the evening and day after Pesach, the origins are unclear. According to one explanation, it is the yahrzeit (anniversary of the death) of Maimon ben Joseph, the father of the great Jewish philosopher Maimonides (Rabbi Moses ben Maimon, also known by his acronym Rambam), a scholar in his own right who lived in Fez (Morocco) and wrote on Jewish-Islamic relations. He died around 1170.
Others say Maimouna is derived from the Arabic word for wealth and good fortune (literally "protected by God," ma'amoun). Since Pesach is the beginning of the new agricultural year, when the world is judged for produce, it is a time to pray for plentiful crops, symbolic of general prosperity.
Still others connect Maimouna with the word emunah ("belief"), claiming it celebrates belief in Israel's redemption. Along the same lines, there is also support (said to be traced to Maimonides' explanation) for the word being an Arabic adaptation of the phrase Ani ma'amin (I believe), the classic expression of faith in the coming of the messiah (ana for ani, placed after the verb ma'amin, as is common in Arabic, yielding ma'amin ana, which becames maimouna in the local Judeo dialect). It may have been a greeting exchanged to bolster one another's disappointment that Passover had come and gone without the long-anticipated return to Jerusalem.
Frankly, I think it is all of the above.
Dining tables were decorated with flowers, wheat stalks, and sometimes live fish in bowls (this time symbolizing birth and fertility). Golden rings were hidden in a bowl containing flour, suggesting hoped for wealth or blessings. A dairy meal of buttermilk, sweets, and special pancakes called muflita served with honey was accompanied by singing, dancing, and visiting with friends.
The Libyan Hebrew made a challah-likeround loaf with a hard-boiled egg secured in the center with strips of dough.  This is the forerunner of the Bread made for Easter morning by many Christians. Single men and women received blessings that they would be married in the year ahead. Women wore their fanciest clothes, girls donned white, and children dressed in costumes like the Berbers (native North Africans) and Arabs who shared their celebration and provided flowers, milk, butter, honey, wheat, and other produce for the Jews.
Sadly, Mark shall miss this celebration this year, due to his being in Afghanistan.
But then there is always next year.
And maybe, some of friends in Blogland can join us.

Sunday, 4 April 2010


Shalom Everyone.
It has been an intersting few days.
There is a stomach flu going around and of course I found it. So I am living on soup and because I also have heartburn, gingerale. It helps brings up the bubbles so I can feel better.
My mum suggested Baking Soda and that seems to help as well.
Marty: the pizza was awful. No taste whatsoever. I'll stick my matzah and rasberry preserves. Streits makes a great preserves for Passover.
Linda: Challah is the egg rich, sweet bread we enjoy on Shabbat. Often braided, it can be filled with raisins or as my husband likes, chocolate chips. In the beginning, the Challah was a meal itself, at times, even meat was baked into it. My adopted brother (may he rest in peace) is from Isreal, he was the first and only member of the family to leaave the land since the days of Moshe. This was one of his family's tradition's. And one day, I shall add a matzah ball soup recipe. Their really easy to make.
Today, Messianic Hebrews celebrate resurrection Sunday as Bikkurim, which means “firstfruits.” Bikkurim celebrates the first of the three harvest seasons in Israel, the counting of the Omer, and the resurrection of Yeshua as G-d’s best “first fruits” gift to us.
Since the counting of the Omer began Wednesday, many of us celebrated the Resurrection a few days ago. This has been one of those issues long in discussion, back in the days of Yeshua Himself. When is Bikkurim. One group of religious leaders said it was the third day after Passover, no matter what day of the week it fell. Another group said it felt on the first day of the week, what is call Sunday.
We find in history that it seems that when Yeshua was Resurrected, it was on a day all parties would agree: the third day after Passover and the first day of the week.
Do I believe Yeshua rose from the dead?
Yes, I do. And that is why we celebrate Bikkurim, for Yeshua is the "FirstFruits of the Dead."
And yes, it is a matter of faith.

It has been a most beautiful day. I opened the backdoor to enjoy the fresh air and enjoyed the day did some reading. It's been several days, but I finally recieved a call from Mark. He send me his pictures from their Passover Seder.
I shall post them later.
He recieved his Carepackage yesterday, and everyone is enjoying the Passover goodies.
After Passover (in a few days) I turn my attention to Mark's birthday.
It is the big 4-0. And I what to make it as special as I can.
His address has changed again, so if anyone would like to send him a card, please let me know, so I can send his address.
His birthday is very easy to remember;
It's April 15th :)

Friday, 2 April 2010

How to Tell If Your Child is A Bully

Boker Tov:

FromParnet Dish;
How to Spot a Bully
You might think that your kid is sweet and kind and respectful of everyone. But what if you're wrong? What if your child is a bully?

ParentDish's AdviceMama, Susan Stiffelman, tells us in a phone interview that you should have some indication that your child is acting out. "Ideally, you're going to hear from the school or another family or your child is going to drop hints," Stiffelman says.
"If a child is a bully, all it means is that he's acting out, externalizing stuff that he's frustrated or angry about," she says. "It's unlikely that he's not saying a single word about it."
This frustration can lead to aggression.
"When a child is frustrated, there are only two outcomes for that ... either he's going to become aggressive or adapt. If you have a child who is a bully, he's probably chronically frustrated."
Stop Bullying Now!, a federally-run site, notes some common characteristics among bullies:
Children Who Bully Can Be:
Impulsive, hot-headed, dominant
Easily frustrated
Lacking empathy
Having difficulty following rules
Viewing violence in a positive way
Physically stronger than other children (this is more a characteristic of boy bullies)

Stiffelman says that impulse also plays a role in bullying, so these issues, coupled with frustration and a sense of wanting to belong and "be cool," often are a lethal mix in bullying.
In an email to ParentDish, she writes, "Often, kids who bully are relatively immature. The prefrontal cortex -- the part of your brain behind your forehead that's responsible for managing impulses, thinking cause and effect and governing inhibitions, among other things -- appears to be less developed in kids with ADHD and impulse challenges."
Even if a bully seems to focus his aggression a specific child, it's usually not about that target at all.
"It usually has very little to do with the child who's the victim -- it's just that he has unwittingly become a target ... because he does the things that promote the bullying behavior," Stiffelman says.
If you determine that your child is, in fact, a bully, it's important to address more than the outward aggression.
"The real solution is to deal with the root," Stiffelman says. "If you ignore the root of it ... then you're just wrapping duct tape around a thing that's going to burst at some point.
There is no single cause of bullying among children. A host of different factors can place a child at risk for bullying his or her peers. However, it has been found that children who bully are more likely than their non-bullying peers to come from homes with certain characteristics.Of course, family influences a child's behavior, so check out these risk factors to see if your home life is increasing the likelihood of your child becoming a bully.
Family Risk Factors for Bullying:
A lack of warmth and involvement on the part of parents

Overly permissive parenting (including a lack of limits for children's behavior)

A lack of supervision by parents

Harsh, physical discipline

Bullying incidences at home

Stiffelman says that kids who bully aren't as tough as they seem.
"Once they come in my office and the door is closed, they're almost always insecure and cowardly children or teens. Underneath the tough exterior is a kid or a teen who is in pain."
She says, "When you really give a kid who's upset ... the chance to feel heard and you demonstrate, 'I can listen, I don't have to rush in here with a fix" ... that's when you get a chink in the armor and that's when you actually have a possibility of hitting the root."

While I would agree for the most part with Stiffelman, she say is it isn't usually about the target.
I disagree. There is something about the target: the person might be overwear. better dress, a different religion or cultural background.
Bulling in a learned behavour. If your child hears you put down another people because of their skin colour, their religion, culture, status, etc, in the home, of course he/she is going to react to their peers in the same matter.
It is time for parnets to take their heads out of the sand and start dealing with the fact that if their son or daughter is indeed a bully, they need to: 1. Face the true about their child. 2. Not blame the victim. 3.Get help for their child. 4. Face where they are to blame and deal with it.
And as a former victim; I can say that.