Adopt The Elephant

Boker Tov:
There is an elderly man I know that I greatly admire.
Recently, my friend made a decision I know wasn't an easy one. Because of several health issues as well as several embarring moments, my friend realise he needed to start wearing adult diapers. A proud man, this was hard to face.
And yet the last time I saw he, not only did he tell me what he was wearing, he actually joked about it. He told me how freeing it was not to worry about having an accident or have to cut a visit short because he has to hurry home. The freedom he had now to return to the things he enjoyed doing.
This is called adopting the elephant.
It simply means, not only accepting, but learning to make this work for you.
Another friend of my is facing the home going of her mother. Mother had the decision to stop the treatment that was keeping her alive. My friend's mother said she had a wonderful life and she was ready to go home to her Creator. The family is honouring Mother's decision, though it is breaking their hearts.
This family has embraced the elephant.
The elephants in our lives can crush us or become our companion through life. We can ride Ellie or allow her to stoop us like an ant.

The choice is ours.

Eat The Elephant? Part 2

Boker Tov (good morning):
Behind the old saying,' how does one eat an elephant? one bite at a time,' is the meaning that in order to deal with the impossible, you need to break it down to something you manage, i.e, one bite at a time.
The other thought is "avoiding the elephant in the room."

Despite our best efforts to step around it, avoid it, paint it to match the wallpaper, or pray it goes away, the big guy is still hanging about; eating the dog's food, breaking your favourite easy chair and making a mess.
So can you do if the thought of eating elephant makes you vomit or the landlord is going to charge you an extra $25.00 a month for the your new pet?
Adopt the elephant.
Right.
OK, I allow me to get real...
"I thought you were already Reel,"
Yeah, that was cute....back to what I was saying. When life sends us elephants, we must learn how to deal with it.
The first thing is, we have to be honest, who let the elephant in the house in the first place? Who opened the door to it? Who offered Ellie a seat? What were the choices that led the elephant to your door?
 Many times, it isn't life choices, but life itself that sends the beast crashing through our front door. A life threatening illness, an freak accident, lost of a job, a parent, spouse or child dies, crime victim, etc. 
That elephant still has to be dealt with. Whether we chose to eat it, send it back to jungle or adopt it, Ellie Elephant still needs to be dealt with.
No matter what you do, it is still going to create a mess that has to be clean up. It still requires making  decisions, it requires action. If your going to eat it, you still need an elephant gun to take it down. You still prepare it to the point of being consumed.
Sometimes, when we realise this is not our elephant, we send it packing. But we still need to lead it out the door and back to went it belongs. And you still have to clean up the mess it left.
But in some cases, you realise Ellie is your baby and you two need to learn to get along.
And if you think about it, travelling by elephant is a great way to save on gas.

Eating the Elephant? Part 1

Boker Tov:

So how does one eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

How often over the I have found myself saying this.  To friends and family. To Mark. To myself.
I would say this when I was a single mum on welfare,  a single working mum, caring for my mother covering from a series of strokes.
I said when caring for Mark when he had cancer, during four deployments and as we deal with PTSD and being without work  for almost two years.
I said a few days ago when I learn I now suffer from SPTSD.
How do I eat this elephant?
This week, once again, I have been finding myself staring on the window or just staring into space, wondering how to eat this elephant.  Feeling overwhelmed with life. Wondering when will the Dark Shadow return to the Shadow Lands and the Sun shines in our lives once again.
 When will the phone stop ringing from bill collectors and start ringing with friends calling to say hi.
 When will we be able have Monti's hurting mouth worked on. When will this long winter end and its spring again.
That instead of grilling elephant for supper, the big, grey beast is squashing the life out of us.
So how do you eat an elephant?
First you have to catch the sucker and kill it!
I mean come on, do you really think Ellie Elephant is just going to stand there and allow you to shoot her????
Besides, elephant isn't kosher.
So  Mark and I have decided, instead of eating the elephant,  to adopt her.