I watch you sleep.
thankful I have you by side another night.
But I also know a letter, that letter,
could come tomorrow, taking you from my side.
The danger is real; your nation calls.
And as much as you love me, you will answer the call,
leaving my side, our bed.
I will let you go. Trust me, I don't want to!
But I will, for we have a job to do. For as you fight for freedom,
I will pray. I will bake the cookies for your Care Package, I will write the letters,
I will stay up after midnight, waiting for your five minute call.
Praying for you and for all who serve, praying for you to return to my side.
To our bed.
In the corner of the room I see your boots. Boots that have taken you to Iraq and Afghanistan.
Boot that have brought you back to me.
I think of your fatigues draped over a chair. You are so handsome in them; my heart swells with pride when I see you all "soldier out."
But tonight, I am just thankful that all I have to do is wash them, not watch as you dress, and your boots carry you away from my side.
Your leaving. It is the price I pay for loving a soldier, A price I am happy to pay.
For when I am held in your arms, all my fears and worries melt away, all is left is love
Right now, I look upon your sleeping face.
My soldier, my hero, my love.
I watch you sleep, thanking G-d for giving us another day together.
Another night of love.
I touch your hair and pray, that the letter,
that letter, never comes.
Shalom:
The afternoon sessions ended with intructions for date night.
It was a contest to see which couple had the best date night. You didn't have to take part, but there would be a prize.
More about that later.
On our way back to our cabin, Mark and I talked.
I shared with him my own insights. For the retreat has been an eye opener for me.
When I was a child, I had a poor sense of direction and would often get lost. Therefore, as I got older, I would do a check and double check of directions. sometimes the directions given would be wrong and I would again find myself lost. While I did learn how to retrace my steps, it was and is still cause for panic and in insecurity for me.
So the issus wasn't really the fact that Mark didn't feel a need for the map. It was the fear of he did not know where we were. That fed into my unsecurity.
I also realise my panic said to Mark, I didn't trust him.
But I did, because when ever we found ourselves lost, Mark would stop and ask for help. Thus I knew he would get us where we needed to be.
So, how did we resolute this?
I told mark I had been thinking about how to help him. I learned from my mother to always write a list of everything we would need for a trip. I would make sure the map was included on the list.
Mark, liking the idea, promise to buy a map and leave it in the car. We ago agreed to look at the map together and highlight with a marker our travel route and go online to get printed directions.
I also Mark, even if all of this, we might still get turned around. When that happens, I remind myself I can trust you to get me where I need to be.
Mark agreed. And he said when he sees me panic, he will take my hand and remind me, "honey, I got you, it's ok."
As we laid down for a nap, Mark took me in his arms and said; "This weekend has been good for us. I have been reminded of all the reasons. I love you. This afternoon, I realised your love healed me."
I cried as I fell asleep in his arms.
"I hope those are happy tears."
All I could do was nod.
They were.
It was a sunny, but chilly Saturday morning. Mark got up before I did to find out where and what time the classes began.
I was snuggled down in the softness of the king bed, when Mark said: "Laini, get up. The classes start at 8:00 am.
It was 7 am and I am not a morning person.
Yes, we had a fuss.
It seems we should have been there yesterday afternoon by 3:00pm because that was the opening sessions began. He didn't know that we were suppose to be there yesterday.
Here we go again.
I have to be honest; I had to work through this as well.
It really wasn't his fault because he didn't have all of the information, but I still have to work through my anger. Truth be told, I wasn't being very flexiable.
Thankfully, we weren't in trouble, the staff was just thankful we made it on time.
This is a picture of one of the cabins at SkyTop. They are rather warm and cozy. Only a five minute walk from the cabin to the main lodge where the sessions would be held.
The staff was made up of three chaplains: Chaplains Jonathan, Demetrius and Mark (Rabbi) Jonathan and Mark were married, Demetrius, single.
The resource used for the weekend was Prep For Strong bonds; Building Ready Families. It's a participant manual that we would work through. What I love about the manual is that it is something that Mark and I can continue to use in our marriage. It reminds me of the workbook we used when going through pre-martial counseling.
The first session, led by Jonathan was discussing the speaker-listening technique. While we missed the teaching class, we quickly caught on because it is a technique we already knew. In each of the packets given to the couples, there contain a tile, called The Floor. Whoever held the tile, had "the floor" and was the speaker.(sample: It upsets me when you leave the bottle of ornage juice sitting on the counter.") The other parther is the Listener. Then the floor is given to the other spouse. He or she repects back what they just heard ( so what your saying is, you don't like me leaving the orange juice sitting out.")
Some times, the orange juice sitting on the kitchen isn't really the issuse. What is the real issuse? Maybe it is one spouse is concerned that the orange juice sitting out will spoil and it has to be thrown away and that is a waste of money. The other spouse, feels they are being considerate by leaving the juice for everyone.
So how do we settle this issuse?
The couple will agree to sit down and settle the issuse.
If this was Mark and I, we would agree the juice pitch sits on the breakfast table until the meal is over and whoever cleared the table would put away the orange juice.
Simple yes?
But how many couples fight over such a simple matter.
As the morning wore on, my anger melted away. Mark not having the map wasn't the reason for my anger. It's a good reason to be upset, but not to be angry. During the morning session, I realize somthing esle was in play.
Something we would learn is, the hidden issuse.
After the break, Rabbi Mark led the session Readjustment: Deployment and Coming Home. He set the stage that marriage today is very different than in our parents, and in some ways unchanged.
Today, more wives work outside the home, not because of things the family wants, but because the family needs the extra income. Though when I was growing up, I knew very few homes where mum stayed at home. Today, more couples share the household duties and care of children. But the core values and needs are still there.
For miliatry families, there is now the added long deployments.
The group shared the pros and cons of deployments, how to be creative in staying in touch with the deployed soldier.
We then broke into soldier and spouses groups. I found this most helpful. Since Mark is a Civil Affairs officer, he is attached to a unit and send off. And I am left here with no support other than family and friends. Other spouses in the group had similair situations. We able to speak openly, knowing whatever was said, remained in that room.
I walked away, realizing, that as hard as these four deployments have been, I was truly blessed.
We headed out for lunch, at one of the little eaties at the lodge. The dinningroom prices were just a little too high.
We were invivted by another couple to join them. Then Chaplain Jonathan and his wife joined us. it was a nice lunch of hanburgers and just getting to know each other.
Later, Mark and I sat before a roaring fire and I fell asleep on Mark's shoulder as he stroked my cheek.
Boker Tov;
I spoke to Mark last night; he finally recieved the box we send from Montana.
I couldn't state what was in it lest Mark read the blog first, but it included:
A huge red monkee from cousin Jaylene and a note.
Monkee Butt Talic powder from Carson, Angela and Jaylene, with a note from each.
Chocolate, big jar of mixed nuts, several bags of dried fruits, Huckaberry Taffy and love notes from me.
And from Aunt Michael and Uncle Jim, four pack of TP, Baby wipes and a sheet of Mr. Obama compassion-sand paper.
Because the unit was reciving a guest on post, Mark could only look at his gifts. The letters will have to wait until later.
There is always comings and goings where Mark is stationed. New units coming in, old ones going home. Lots of paperwork along with getting the new units up to speed with the projects being worked on.
He still enjoys getting out to meet the locals, but of course it is still dangerous and we keep praying for not just Mark, but for all those who serve.
In fact, recently, I was taken to task for my "lack of faith" on fackbook and Mark had a comment about that. "Those who are your friends or think they are should remember your beloved is half way around the world in a dangerous area and should give you some slack."
Even in Afghanistan, he's got my back.
Mark's coming home on Leave soon, so I went to the after Valentine's Day sales. The above candle is amoung the things I found for 50%.
I do have a red tablecloth, so with the extra little things and gifts I found, I hope to make his Home Come a nice one.
This little heart shaped bottle is one I shall fill with a love note for my beloved.
I couldn't resist. He sings, 'I'm Too Sexy.'
No explaintion needed, though the candles are rose scented.
Hey Laini! I thought you were a frum?
Yeah, I am. And I make being a frum fun :)
Lialia Tov:
This morning I recieved a wondeful surprise; my beloved called.
I had spoken to him last night and to hear his voice first time this morning was a delight.
He asked: "have you got them yet?"
Got what?
It seems that my beloved send me special gifts for our special day. It was Valentine's Weekend that he asked me to be his wife.
And being the romantic he is, Mark didn't forget.
This arrived first, Happy Valentine's Day.
And then for our anniversary:
What was really touching was the woman who delievered the flowers and the gifts.
"I pray he gets to come home to you soon."
So do I.
I will let you go. Trust me, I don't want to!
