Tears For Boston

At age nine, my family moved to Boston, Ma. from New York. It was another world, another culture, but quickly I adjusted and adapted, for I fell in love with its distinct European feel.
While school years weren't the best (being bullied) it is where I grew up into a woman. Where my son was born.
The last few years I lived in downtown Boston proper. The Boston Commons was my son's playground. We would visit my mother when she worked at the Governor's office. It was here that I studied through a program by Mass General to be a CNA and began my career in the health profession. My son and I actually lived, I went to work along the same route as the Boston Marathon. It wasn't uncommon to see men and women out and about in the early mornings, beginning to train. We could even watch part of the Marathon from our roof top. 
I moved to the south in my twenties, and like the reasons we moved West, to begin a new life, I still have several friends as well as my sister still living in Boston and I hope one day Mark and I can go for a visit.
So you can imagine my horror as I watched the events unfold on TV yesterday. I kept saying, "I know this area!" And as silly as it sounds, I kept looking for my younger sister's face, my heart knowing she was down there.
Turns out, my sister was just a block away from the bombing. We thank the Holy One for His protection.
Our hearts are still broken for the city of Boston. Right now, we still do not know who is behind this. At least, we do not see the human face or faces.
So we know that satan, the evil one is the force behind this.
I shall not sit back and blame G-d or question "Why did You allow this?" I shall, instead give thanks that there weren't more dead.
I shall pray for those families who lost loved ones, who have been injured. And I shall pray that those who did this are quickly found.
This was an act of Terrorism. Even the President has said this. The only question is; this the word of enemies inside or outside the nation.
 It is G-d that changes the hearts of men, not laws, not bans. As long as evil lies in the hearts of men, there will be such actions. Sadly, there will be the horrors we have seen over the years with school shootings, bombings, etc. Bans will make it tougher to get a gun, but it wasn't a gun used yesterday. Materials to make bombs are very easy to come by. So are butcher knives. But a ban or tougher laws  won't stop a someone bend on causing harm to others. The peace we are seek and long for, will not come until Messiah Himself comes.
My suggestion is to take a page from Israel's play book. Israel faces this sort of attacks all of the time. They are prepared and ready to deal with it. But at the same time, the people of Israel do not walk about in fear, they don't allow the Terrorism to control their lives. And we must not either.
Let us continue to put our faith in the Holy One, be watchful and not live in fear.
Beloved Boston, you are not alone. We pray for you, we weep with you.

Thank You, G-d, I am Alive

Shalom:
Before sunrise, around the world, Hebrews utter the before blessing. It is the first prayer a Hebrews child learns, thanking his or her Creator for a new day. For a male, it is 'modeh.' For a female 'modah.'
The blessing reminds me of Lamentations 3, there we are reminded of G-d faithfulness to all generations.
 I have to confess, since I can remember, I have had a life long love affair with my bed. I love my sleep. I love the comfort of my bed and have not often been one to quickly rise in the morning. As a teen, my mother spend spend a small fortune on alarm clocks; when ever that hateful little bedside clock would dare cling the hour of my rising, it would find its poor little metal being being thrown across my bedroom, smashed into tiny pieces. Mother, then started putting the clock across the bedroom on my dress. The new clock would sound.
I got up, open the window and Time that day really did fly as I tossed the thing out the window.
Soon, my mother hit upon an idea; a radio clock. Since I love music, she figured a radio clock would fair better.
And she was right.
But becoming a morning person was a slow progress. I figured since G-d never sleeps nor slumber, no need for me to rush to get up.
But some twenty five years ago, I discovered a gem in my Bible reading; that the great men and women of scripture, rose early in the morning to seek the Face of G-d.
Being a single mother and often having the the first shift, I needed more than to just getting up, hitting the shower and praying I didn't burn the pancakes before I send my son to school. I needed that quiet time with my Father. I needed to speak to Him; to get His help for the the day ahead. I have a child and older patients. I needed His grace and wisdom.
It would be another ten year before I remember the above blessing.
It was an autumn morning, I was laying in my bed, as the words slowly drifted to the forefront of my mind....."I thank you, O Living King..."
These are the first words we utter every morning—while still lying in bed. It is the first conscious moments are spent thanking G‑d for the gift of life. That we even awoke this morning. I remember a dear lady I met about twenty years ago. Such a sweet woman that after she and her husband divorced, she continued to care for her former mother-in-law. Goldie was my age when she passed away. In her sleep of a Stroke. How many people around the world breathed their last before the sunrise today.
How we take the Gift of Life, our very breath for granted.
It is a new day. A new beginning. It doesn’t matter what I did yesterday or last night; it is a new day, nothing touches this fresh start.
I remember a rabbi I studied under once liked the Mohah Ani as "laying upon our beds and when we awake, there is Queen Elizabeth, waiting for us to arise, for she has a royal task they have for us.
Well, in our case, it isn't the Queen, but the One who creates kings, presidents, who created the entire world-and each of us."
So now, I am not so quick to complain about having to get up in the morning.
I'm too thankful the Giver of Life allowed me to see and enjoy this day of promise.

"Pray for the peace of Jerusalem, let those who love You be at rest. Peace be within your walls, rest in your citadels. For the sake of my brothers and companions, I say, "Peace be within you." For the sake of the House of Yahweh our Elohim I seek your good. Tehillim/Psalm 122:6-9

Pray for the people of Jerusalem, Pray for the young and the aged, the rich and the poor. Pray for those who love the G-d of Israel and those who know Him not.
Pray for the people of Jerusalem; for she is the Apply of Elohim's eye. To touch her is to touch the eyeball of Elohim.

Pray for the peace of Jerusalem, for her enemies will not stop with her destruction; for her enemies hate you as well.

O Elohim, rise up and save Your People, Your children.
Our trust is in You, Holy One

 

Please Pray

They said in their hearts, “Let us destroy them altogether.” They have burned up all the meeting places of God in the land. (Psalm 74:8)

I had another post planned, but in light of the following....please, I beg you to pray.

 

Dancing in the Moonlight

Boker Tov:
Well, this is day three without my blood pressure medication.
Not because I have stopped following doctor's orders, but because we don't have the money to buy the pills.
So far, so good. Blood pressure is still good, only one headache.
Little Monti is feeling a little better. The dog food Doctor Smith gave us for Monti seems to be helping. Though Monti only eats a little, the good news is, Monti is eating. But we have to really coach him to do so.
Caring for Monti right now reminds me of my days working in Nursing Homes, having to encourage an dear old man to partake of the food I was trying to feed him. It could take a good ten minutes to an half and hour. Yes, it take much patience and love.
But Monti is worth it.
What is still hard is Monti's not sleeping through the night.
Right now, Monti wakes me up between 1 and 2 in the morning for something to drink and to relief himself.
So I find myself standing outside, looking up into a blanket of ebony as Monti sits in the grass and looks up into the stars.
I wonder; is Monti making a wish?

I have to admit, at first, it bothered me to get up so early to take Monti out. But this morning, as I watched Monti, his little face up, enjoying the cool air blowing upon it, I realised what a precious moment I was enjoying. The air was cool and scented with rose and gardenia. The sky ebony with sparkles of sliver here and there. No traffic sound, no human voices. Just Monti, me and the Creator. The air on my face was the very breath of G-d, touching me, filling me. For a few moments, I danced in the moonlight with the Creator.

It was a holy moment. No wonder Holy men and women rise this early in the morning to pray.

A moment I would have missed if Montaqe didn't have to take a pee.



While My Beloved Sleeps

Shalom:
As I sit down, gathering my thoughts to write my latest entry, Montaque hops into my lap, and looks at the screen, reading what I have written so far.
He turns that adorable little face to me and his brown eyes face, "you haven't written much."
I assure Monti I was waiting for him.
All the while I hear from the bedroom the sound snores of my beloved.
He is finally asleep.
Mark has tossed and turned the pass several nights. I wake up, take him in my arms and then, softly brush his hair and whisper prayers for him as he falls back to sleep.
It is the stress of being out of work, the job interviews that come to nothing. One job he was offered was only past time and wouldn't even be half of what Mark receives in unemployment. We really aren't living on unemployment. We rob Peter to pay Paul so we can keep our phone and Internet so Mark can keep looking for work.
We pray. We keep seeking G_D. We keep believing. We hold on.
We yell, scream, cry throw tantrums and still at the end of the day, still walk with G_D.
While my beloved sleeps I continue to pray.

Someone told me today G_D allows you to go through tough times until all you have is Him.
He's all we'd had for several months now.
Sometimes, I told another friend today, the most honest answer is "I don't have the faintest idea what G_D is doing." And "this stinks!" It is honest. It is real. Because we we still live in this world and not the next.
Because true faith doesn't have all the answers, but full of questions.
Job said it best: " Shall we accept good from G_D, and not trouble?" Job 2:10
When the Messiah required a hard thing from His followers, Yeshua HaMessiah turned to Peter and said: "Will you leave too?"
My answer is the same as Peter's: "where would I go, L-rd? For You have the Sayings of Life."
There are times Faith comes down to the simple fact; G_D has been Faithful, is Faithful and will continue to be so." Sounds like a pat answer. It is. And there are times it works.
This is not that time.
I hang in there because there is no other place to go. Where can I go? I use to think such a statement made me sound like I was still in an abused marriage.
But not really. For this weekend, we celebrate Shavuot, the Day we entered into covenant with the Creator of the Universe. The Day Hebrews accepted the Torah and said we would do all it says. But it wasn't just the nation. Each of us took on the burden of Torah....
"I, Tirzah Elanna Bat Levi, take you HaShem as my G_D, for better, for worse....."
For me, rejecting G_D because of what we are going through would be just as bad as leaving my beloved Mark while he sleeps.
Sounds insane.
Sounds like love.
I guess that is the true meaning of faith....
"For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don't believe, no proof is possible.”
Stuart Chase.

The Broken Heart of A Mother

As a mother and a grandmother, my heart breaks for the parnets of Trayvon Martin.
I remember when I hear Trayvon was carrying a bottle off ice tea and a bag of Skittles, my mind flashed back; my son Aries loved Skittles as a child. In another place and time, Trayvon could have well been my son.
 In our anger and our pain, let each person who reads this blog, remember to lift this family in their prayers or have good thoughts.

I believe just knowing that there are people of good will, from all colours and backgrounds that are praying for justice for their son, for this wrong to be right. It wouldn't bring Trayvon, but they will rest easier knowing their son's crys didn't go unanswered.

Teach Your Children

Shalom:
"And ye shall teach them your children, speaking of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, when thou liest down, and when thou risest up." Deut. 11:19

Yesterday, I saw the most precious picture on facebook.
It was a friend of my, saying morning prayers. His little daughter came up beside him and picking up the hem of him prayer shawl, joined her Abba (daddy) in prayer. Thankfully, his wife caught this moment on camera.
Because I do not have my friend's permission, I cannot show you the picture.
Another friend, his facebook profile picture is his holding his baby granddaughter, reading the Bible to her.
It is said that faith isn't just taught, but caught by our children. Our children, like it or not watch us very closely and will mimic us.
 How often do we hear "I want to be like my mummy or daddy, when I grow up."
I remember when Aries was about four-teen months old, I found him sitting on the floor, with my new Bible and marking in it.
Yes, at first I was upset, but then I looked at the old Bible sitting on my desk, its pages filled with the notes I had written. Aries had watched me write in my Bible and thought it was OK.
So how can I be mad?
I remember how Aries loved to dress up in suite, making him feel grow up, so proud to look like his step-father. I remember times coming into his room and he was teaching his stuffed animals from the Bible.
I remember one night when he was about six, kneeing at his bed and praying for my sick child. And his fever breaking.
Years later, when I was recovering from surgery, Aries prayed for me.
Yes, it is cute and sweet and even brings tears to our eyes.
But it also makes us as parents and grandparents aware of how much they truly are watching, and even learning from us. The important role we do play. How we have the power to flame belief in their souls. Or put it out.
"But Yeshua said to them, “Let the children come to me and do not forbid them, for the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these.” From the Aramaic Bible.

Great is Thy Faithfulness

Boker Tov;


Upon waking up, we offer the following:

מודה אני לפניך מלך חי וקיים שהחזרת בי נשמתי בחמלה, רבה אמונתך.‏

Transliteration: Modeh ani lifanekha melekh hai v'kayam shehehezarta bi nishmahti b'hemla, raba emunatekha.
Translation: "I give thanks before You, Living and Eternal King, that You have returned within me my soul with compassion; Great abundant is Your faithfulness!"

I love this blessing. How often we take for granted waking up in the morning. G-d, in His mercy allows our eyes to open. He allows the breath in our body to flow and out of our mouths we praise Him.
I remember for the longest time, opening my eyes and uttering the words; "good L-rd, it's morning."
But many years ago, when I found this blessing, I remember my grandmother Callie would utter her breath these words of thanks, words she heard her father, Samuel Mixon utter.
I remember when Aries and I lived with my mother for a time, I could hear mummie as she would give up, hearing her slide from her bed to her knees to pray, to give thanks for a new day and for His guidance.
I used to pray; "L-rd, give me a good day. But one morning, I felt Him whisper, "How about just walking with Me today, and let Me guide You." And after all these years, it is still a joy to see where He will lead me.

Shortly after we were married, Mark and I bucked down and really worked on learning these blessings, holy words that have been the life breath of our people. It was during this time I remembered the sweet morning blessing.
During my depression, I forgot those blessings. All I could do was sit and stare into space. Or sit and cry. That's when it is truly a blessing to have a praying husband.
But I also knew G-d could understand the language of my tears.
And then He brought Montague into our lives.

I remember uttering the words, "Thank you, Father for this precious little furball." The G-d of Creation, made this little bundle of furry love and gave him to me. To teach me once again to give thanks. Just those few little words and a doggie's kiss broke the dam.
So once again, when I awake, I give thanks to The Holy One for allowing me this day, a day that holds its own surprises.
As I prepare to take my little guy out for his morning walk, I give thanks. I give that for my health, for my beloved husband, for Montague and for the sunny day I am about go and enjoy.
And I give thanks that my Heavenly Father with be walking with us.

A Reel Dog; A Gift of Love.

Shalom:
As our readers know, for the last week of December, we had the joy of a little visitor known as Monte. His family had gone out of town for the holidays and we were watching their dog.
We fell in love with Monte and Monte with us.

Little Monte came into our home and just plain took over. Not that we minded. He was joy to have. Both Mark and I knew we would have a very hard time giving him back. But we also knew that G-d brought this little guy into our lives. We needed something outside ourselves to care for, another purpose, even if was for only a week.

And then the miracle.

It was Januray first. I had just gotten off the phone with a friend and was dressing when the Burts came for Monte.

To be honest, I was dreading going out into the livingroom to say goodbye to Mort.

But when I came out, I was greeted with a surprise.

Mark told me that the family, seeing that Mark and Monte have bonded, seeing how happy Monte was here, they offered us Monty.

Mark and I were floored. We knew this family, we knew how much they loved Monte. But they had another small dog and felt both needed lots of attention. Monte was really a one family dog. And he loved us.

Mark and I looked at each other. This was clearly a gift of love from our friends. From G-d. Yes, I was concern as to how we would care for him, but this is where trusting G-d comes in.

Since we would be going to a marriage retreat the following weekend, it was decided that Monty would back home. Plus, there was a teenage daughter who had to agree to this arrangement.

So, the monday evening after the marriage retreat, we went to pick up Monte. It was emotional for he is so loved. It was for a two week trial period and if the daughter saw that Monty was truly happy with us, we would adopt Monte.

Two weeks later, Saturday, the Burts came over and spend some time with us. Our girl could see Monty was happy. So as of Saturday afternoon, we have a Reel Dog.

His name, Montague Theodore Reel.

Isn't he cute?

Yeah, their up to something.

We have prayed for healing for my body (I have a blood disorder, more about that later) We pray for Mark to find a job. We pray for money we need to pay our bills.

And G-d answers by sending us a dog.

Ah the ways of G-d.

Preparing to Leave Egypt

Boker Tov;:
Before I begin, I would ask all my readers to pray for my friend Beth, author of the blog Nutwood Junction. Her father had a massive stroke and hard choices have had to be made. Having faced this with my own mother ten years ago, (in our case, mother has gone to live another ten years) I know what first hand the emotions Beth is going through and I am asking all who know Beth, even if you don't, please prayer for her, her dad, mum, hubby and sisters.

I can honesty say I am beginning to feel better. I am not wheezing as much and while I hate having to take all of this medication, it is for a short time and it is appearing to be working. The compact Nebizler is awesome, just sits on a nearby table with the rest of my medication.
I made even try a cup off coffee this morning.

It is a beautiful sunny moning. I haven't opened the door, so it could be chilly. Either way, it is still pretty.
Soon, it shall be Spring.
I shall be able to open the window and let all the winter air out and the spring in.
It is also time to prepare for Passover.
In a few days it will be the Hebrew month of Nissan.
Already, many a hebrew home, the house is being clean, preparing for this grand celebration. In fact, if I haven't sick, my would be well on the way as well.
This is the time that with a Stronge Arm, The Holy One kept that long made promise to free the hebrews of their bonds and bring them back to the Land He had Promised them.
Because the Delieverance was sudden in one night, there was no time for the bread to rise. Because yeast (leaven) is spoken of in Torah as sin, all of the leavn was to be removed from the house as well. They were to eat the lamb, roasted with spring greens, dressed and ready to leave.
It was a Night to Remember always.
Today, we continue to remember this night, this is a teaching time for our children and all who wish to know how this Holy Day fits into their own faith. It is now a meal of Freedom and Rejoicing.
For once we were slaves, but now we are free.
Once we ate in haste, now, we relax, enjoy and remember.
And we pray. We pray for all who still long for freedom, the freedoms we as a Holy people and yes, even Americans enjoy.
This year, with a break of tradition because Mark isn't here, we will not have a Sedar. I hope to be well enough to attend one. But I will as my strenght returns, will prepare our home for this holy time. It is truly holy, because we are "cleaning our homes and our bodies" of the sins that have crept in during the year.
I opened the back door; it is very pretty outside.

The Center of Our Lives

1 Timothy 2:1-2: "I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; 2 For kings, ( this includes Presidents)and for all that are in authority; that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and honesty. "

Boka Tov;

Throughout this election season, I kept hearing about those of us of faith, who chose is influence greatly by their religious beliefs. For many, religion, right or wrong is the only factor.

I am cannot speak for others, nor would I dare to. I can only speak for Mark and I.

Our G-d, our Faith, G-d's Word, the Holy Scriptures are the center of our home, our hearts, our marriage. Torah is the guiding force in our lives. It isn't something we slip on and off like a cloak; it is who we are.

And so is prayer.

From the time I was a child and taught to pray, I was taught to pray for whoever was President of the Untied States. That G-d would grant him wisdom to lead this great nation.

Presidents Kenndey, Johnson, Nixon, Ford, Carter, Reagan, Bush I, Clinton, Bush II, and now Mr.Obama.

Last night, before we went to bed, we prayed for President Bush, as we always do. But this night, we included President Elect Obma and his family.

This morning, they were included in our prayers.

That is what we, who's faith and beliefs govern our lives, do.