Tuesday, 17 April 2012

A New Beginning


Boker Tov:
So it is a new morning. A new day.
With learning that my depression is PTSD, brought on by caring for my Veteran husband, I actually feel much better. Not only knowing what is wrong with me and that there is help.
The Military family no matter the branch one serves, is called upon to do more, give more than in any time in our history.
We have been at war for over ten years. Children are growing up seeing mom or dad on a Web Cam than around the supper table. More husbands and wives talk more on the phone half a world apart than face to face. And many couples, like Mark and I are courting through e-mail than over a cup of StarBucks.
We can now point our loved ones on Fox or CNN News when the war is covered. We turn on the telly and there is a burning army tank and we begin to pray that all soldiers got out safe and that our loved one wasn't there.
And while there are more resources for the support members of the family, we feel more alone than ever.
While not every Veteran or his family member suffer from PTSD, many do and finally there is help for the spouse, children and even the parents of our Veterans.
That includes me.
So it is a new day for Mark and I. For me.
I awoke this morning, thanked G_D for returning my soul and then set about to take charge of this Dark Shadow and make it work for me.
1. I need to set a time to get up and stay up. Since December it has been a struggle to get up in the morning. Since I started taking Zofio, things are better. And with the addition of Monti, this means a little being that needs to be watered, walked, fed and groomed. Which means I have to get up and take care of my daily needs. Like I did this morning, getting up, prayer, bible reading and even doing some stretching is a good way to awake the body, soul and spirit.
2. I need to take time for me. As much as I love Mark, much of my time is making sure he is OK. Not that is a bad thing. But Caregivers need to take care of themselves too. One of the beautiful things about having Monti is I often take him our for his walk, enjoying the feel of the sun on my face, the breeze in my hair. I enjoy the feel of my body in movement. I enjoy talking to the Creator while walking amoug His creation. But I also need time just for me. Not walking the dog. But walking on my own. Visiting StarBucks with a good book or working on the story I'd been writing for the past few weeks.
3.Diet. There is a danger to overeat or not eat at all when stressed and/or depressed. A good, balance diet with fruits and veggies, fish, chicken, grains and nuts are great foods to raise the mood and spirit, feed the body and mind.
4. I confess to being bad in not drinking my water. But with walking Monti, I now carry water, drinking more.
5. Set time for bed. Whether I go to sleep or not, I now have a set time for bed. This causes my mind to begin to shut off and relax.
6.Hobby. Since Mark home from his last deployment, I have set aside my hobbies to attend to Mark. I have a needlepoint piece that longs for my attention. So I need to set some time in the day to work on it.
7.Don't be so hard on myself. Now that I know what is going on in my body and mind, I don't have to keep beating myself up. But to face this Dark Shadow head on.
And master it.
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