Wednesday, 9 May 2012

How to Miss a Marriage

I read on another blog about an articled entitled, How to Miss a Childhood. I then found said article on a friend's facbook's page.
The author speaks how many parents are losing out on their children's childhood because of the time they spend on the cell-phone and not spending with their children.
I am including the article because it is a great read.
But it got me thinking.....
When my son Aries was growing up, even when I was a child, there were no cell-phones
I never walked down the grocery aisles with Aries sitting in the shopping cart, pulling stuff off the selves as I talk to my girl on a cell-phone. Aries never had to ask me to push him on the swing as I had an fuss with his step-dad on the telly. Nor did he ever have to ask me when is dinner five times and get yelled at because I was answering a text.
Yes, I was supermum; I waited until Aries was tugged into bed before burning the phone lines. But there were those times I did get upset because I had to pull away from All My Children because Aries dared to be hungry.
In every generation, there is something, be it TV, cell-phones or facebook that grab our attention and not focus in that which is more important.
Our children.
Since Mark and I don't have children yet, it made me think about How to Miss a Marriage. How many amazing discussions did I miss out because I was chatting with a friend on fackbook? Or saying: "honey, give me five minutes to finish this e-mail," when Mark asked me to come to bed. How many hugs and kisses and cuddle moments were lost as I sat here at the laptop. How many walks in the park and pillow fights.
How many times have I served Mark a drink at his laptop and he took it without looking up at me. How many times have I felt Monti climbing up my leg for a bit of attention?
Does this happen a lot? No.
But frankly, it shouldn't happen at all.
Sadly, I admit snapping at Mark when I was writing a post for the blog last week and Mark kept asking me about Monti's bath.
Right after I snapped at my husband, I felt rotten. The post could wait. Husband and Montaque should never have to.
So we agreed that I have a set time to work on the blog and other writing projects while Mark does his job search.
And then, when we are both done, turn off the laptops and turn to each other.
And Monti.
Does this mean Mark and/or shouldn't have time to ourselves? Time with friends, whether on the TV or social media?  Of course we should. But not at the experience of our relationships with our spouses, with our children.
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