Boker Tov;
Depression.
I awoke depressed.
I have been focused on recovering from the asthama attack, my energies on getting healed, I hadn't had time to get down about Mark's return to Afghanistan last week. My thoughts have been that Mark won't be here for Passover and preparing myself to deal with the waves of emotions that will come with that.
Until this morning.
He's not here.
I even got to speak to Mark twice yesterday: the second time he called he walked me through the use of the Passport which held my backup files. So now they are back on the Laptop in the study.
As I laid in bed last night, I found myself squeezing the stuffing out of Mark's pillow, inhaling his scent that was still there.
So when I open my eyes, said my morning prayers and realize, my beloved isn't here.
So, dispite the beautiful, sunny day, dispite the brewing coffee, I am depressed, working through the emotions of my beloved not being here.
The coffee is brewed.
The Market just called: the lamb is in.
So after coffee, I am off to the Market for Challah and lamb.
The walk will do me good.
5 comments:
I'm so sorry Laini. I know you miss Mark (and he misses you) and I am sorry he won't be there to celebrate Passover with you. I'm glad the lamb is in though and I think your plans to make a Seder for your single friends is a wonderful idea. sending you a hug, wish I could have other words of wisdom.
betty
Dear Betty; your words were perfect :)
Hang in there, Laini. I keep telling myself that pain and sadness doesn't last forever; it will pass if we ride it out. Hugs, Beth
Oh, Honey... I didn't know about Mark's leaving, and understand much better why you are depressed. It will give me a better handle on how to pray.
I think it is wonderful that you will share your Seder with your single friends, too.
As you can see, I'm reading these posts backwards to get to know you both better. Thanks for visiting my blog, too! Linda
Hi Laini,
I'm sorry to hear you are (or were) down. By now you've been to the market, picked up your lamb and etc. and I sure hope it all lifted your spirits. I know when I get outside, especially if the weather is nice, it's always lifts my mood.
Best,
Marty
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