Early Will I Seek Thee

Boka Tov;

Last night, I had enough energy to start disinfecting our home. Since I have been sick a week and doing much better, it is time to rid our beloved dwelling of the lurking grems so I can start welcoming my friends over one again.

Besides, it could use a good airing out.

Since we are enjoying Indian summer, I figure no A/C, just semi fresh Norfolk air.

But the windows are stuck and I have to go back to the landlord to ask the painters to please open one of the windows they painted over during the summer.

The kitchen is once again clean, even the fridge. Since I made a huge pot of Mazta ball soup, Shabbat Supper is ready and all I need to pick is Challah.

Not pushing it, I cleaned up for bed said my prayers and went to sleep.

During my cleaning, I did alot of praying. My facebook page is full with friends who are suffering and/or their families are with the Swine or Bird flu. Young are very young, one expecting a baby. One friend's mum had an operation to have a tumor removed, another her grandfather is leaving this world and going to the next. Five months along, she flew out to be at his side, her husband and little boy leaving today.

Many doubt the power of prayer, that miracles happen. That it is just wishful thinking on weak folk parts that cannot fact reality.

Everyone has a right to their opinion.

I have seen too many miracles, too many answers to prayer not to believe that there is SomeOne watching over me, Who hears my cries and acts as He wills.

Sometimes not to my liking. But always, in the end for good, though I don't always see it.

Can't He acted without my asking? Of course. But like you and I, HaShem likes to be asked.

But He's G-d.....

And?

I remember telling my mum I could tie my own shoelaces.

Pleased that her old so wise three year daughter knew from the womb how to tie her shoelaces, she wanted to see this.

After watching me struggle with the strings for over an hour, finally I said in total frustation: "are you going to help me!"

"You told me you could do it yourself. Do you want my help?"

"Yes!"

Raised eyebrow.

"Yes, please."

With the patience only a mother could have, she undid the knots in one shoe and to my horror, cut the knots to my other shoe.

Who put the knots there in the first place, Laini?"

She then slowly began to teach me how to tie my shoelaces.

There are some knots that even G-d cannot undo. Not because He can't, beacuse He won't break His own laws. And that is a hard one for us humans to handle.

We live in a fallen world, thanks to the sin of our Parnets Adam and Eve. But much of the disease and suffer are from years of things we humans have done to the earth and to each other. For years, Man as a whole has told G-d "I can do it myself," and then yells at Him as we get into one knotty mess after another. And gets mad if the pink shoestrings get cut.

I believe in prayer. I believe G-d uses doctors, nurses and medication to heal as well as natural means such sleep and comfort foods. But I have also laid my hand on a hot eight year old's head and prayer: "Father, I have no money for a doctor or meds, nor a way to get him to the ER. Heal my baby." And the fever broke and he sat up, asking for something to eat.

Years later, I would lay my hands on the hot head of my bestfriend, burning with fever, struggling to breath and praying to G-d as I died 911. The call never went through: the fever broke and he sat up, asking for something to eat. I know a woman who's daughter had a small hole in her heart, but because she was one of the working poor, she didn't have the money to have that heart fixed. She took that child to church, made her kneed before G-d and she asked G-d to heal her daughter.

My baby is now a daddy.

I am now married to my bestfriend.

And this year, my beautiful sister Eileen celebrated her 50th birthday.

That's my story and I am sticking to it.