The First Shabbat

Shabbat is in a few hours.

It is the first Shabbat Mark shall spend in Afghanistan. Not sure if he will have the evening off to do so.

Afghanistan is so different. Not sure if there is such a time as "time off." Not sure if Mark take time to himself like he did in Iraq.

I just know right now I am struggling with depression, even with the joy of Shabbat.

As I often tell other military spouses, these feelings are normal and even help you work through the storm in your being. It draws you closer to G-d and even your beloved because they are feeling the same emotions. Of course, the differenc is their foruc is upon the misson until they go to sleep. We who are left home must find our own mission, our own voice to get through this time.

It is normal to feel depress because you are parted from your loved one. Go ahead and cry. I tell myself.

The problem, however, comes from well meanings friends who send me scriptures, mild corrections about me not having faith or even the ever faithful; "well, you knew what you were getting into when you married Mark."

With all due respect, go suck an egg!

When your husband or wife goes into a warzone for a year, you are given 30 minutes (if the phone works) phone time, pray that the internet works so you can IM, write e-mail or even G-d willing manage to see each other through a Web-Cam, then we can talk.

Until then, just thank G-d for men and women who are willing home and heart to defend you and your family, and their families who are willing to let them go, and treat me to Starbucks every once and a while.

I like my Mocha-Latte very hot.