One Sad Moment

As wonderful as Shabbat was, there was a sad momnet.

Recently, we learned of a woman who expecting her second child. Her parnets, in their 60s is raising her first child who is less than a year old. This woman cannot care for the child and yet is carrying another. She along with her boyfriend are drug addicts and yet she drops babies like dumples while Mark and I, having suffered one miscarriage, long, desire and pray for a child of our own.

Today, the grandmother sat across from us. Once again, my tears flowed. Mark, knowing how I was feeling, just took me in his arms and allowed me to cry.

I marvel at the ease that women who don't want children can concieve from just a wink and a smile. How easy mums who can't take care of themselves, have children.

And what is worse treat that child like some kind of toy or puppy. Or worse; a means of gaining a monthly check.
I marvel at the ease women who care nothing about themselves can go onshooting up drugs, taking no thought as to how those drugs affect that baby.
Yes! BABY!

How they can take that precious gift that for reasons known only to Him, G-d granted to them, to an abortion clinic and have their precious child killed.

Yes I said KILLED!

Abortion is murder! It's orginal purpose was a design from a woman who thought there were too many "black and yellow" and we need to get rid of "these creatures." The true aim of Abortion wasn't " a woman's right to chose" but to wipe whole races of people.

So-Called Plan Parnethood doesn't tell you that.

How women who take no thought what they are shooting up in their veins and into the tiny life they are carrying under their heart.

But let someone suggest putting that child up for adoption, giving it to a couple that would welcome it with open arms and all Cain breaks loose. There are those of us that will (and have) take Crack Babies, Downs, etc.

But with adoption red tape, it takes years to get a child.

After all, we don't want to take these children from their "mothers" lightly.
I am struggling, I confess, with that bitter taste of "life is not fair!" Whenever I see this woman, I find myself becoming angry, and have to repent and give the matter over to G-d. I fight the feeling of evny, of wanting that which belongs to another.
Mark and I have been asked would we consider adoption.

Mark had asked during our engagment if I would consider adoption, since he was going through Cancer treatment.

But again, in this country, it takes years to adopt a child and getting an infant is a miracle in itself. Frankly we cannot afford international or private adoption, unless G-d works a miracle in that regard as well.

So, if it be the Holy One's will we shall a child.

Until then, I need to pray and keep giving this matter over and over again to G-d.