Friday 10 October 2008

Relationships




Shalom:
I recieved a phone call this morning.
It was from a friend who I hadn't seen in a while. She had asked a friend about me and became upset when our friend answered her with:
"Laini's fine. Why don't you pick up the phone and ask her yourself."
Gently, I reminded my friend that is quite true; if you wish to know waht is happening in my life, don't go running to my mother, sister, or other friends.
Ask me.
If you wish to have a relationship with someone, it takes work on both sides. It is like playing ball: I can't play catch by my self.
By the same token, I also have the right not to play ball. If I don't want a relationship with anyone, it is, my right, as an human being and as an adult.
And I don't own anyone an explaintion as to the reasons why.
My mum told me a long time ago; we have the right to chose who we wish not only to call friend, but also whether we wish to answer our phone or doorbell.
After all, it is our phone and our home.
It was nice to hear from my old friend, someone I had lost contact and yes, would very much like see sit at my Shabbat table once again.
And she promise from now on, if she wants to know what is happening in our lives, she will call me.
Have a wonderful Shabbat.

4 comments:

Beth said...

I'm surprised this friend got upset when told she could pick up the phone and ask you herself!

Have a lovely weekend,
Beth

betty said...

so true, Laini; good wise words; I hope you and Mark have a good Sabbath :)

betty

Joan said...

Well said. Have a great weekend. Love Joan.

Marty said...

Hi Laini,
Nice new blog ... it looks great. It sounds like you gave your friend some good advice for any friendship. I hope it sinks in!
Best,
Marty